I need to let it out.....

[paigevz]

I've had several people ask me if my children's father is "spanish" or "Mexican"..........I always say yes to the Mexican, and "Mexican" in reply to is their father spanish. Now, I know HE'S American, but I also know they mean his heritage, so that's what I answer.

That doesn't bother me really, though I can see how it would some people, especially maybe in an area where it's not so commonplace.

Once, someone approached me in the mall (this in 1996), asked the question and then told me I should "stick with my own kind". I just said "We're all God's children" and walked away not waiting for a reply. That's the only time that's happened.

I get more upset over some of the ignorant things my extended family says...........asking me if the baby spoke Spanish when he was a newborn, asking if he could already swim at the same age.................stupid, offensive, racist stuff.

Fortunately, most of that stopped by the time he was old enough to understand anything. My younger son was much more light skinned and light haired as a baby, so I may not have had many comments because of that, but his hair has gotten steadily darker, and now his skin has bronzed well this summer and he's always had the very dark eyes, so I may get more comments now.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I would just let comments like that roll off your back. When some people try to start conversation with strangers, they sometimes say stupid things. In the big scheme of things, it really isn't a big deal!

In our family nobody looks alike! I'm 1/2 hispanic, but I'm white like my mom. My dd10 is 3/4 hispanic (her bio dad is hispanic), and she has beautiful skin, dark hair and eyes. My ds4 is adopted, and he's the only blonde in our family! My ds3 is the only child that is biologically both mine and my dh's, and he is the spitting image of his daddy. I always get asked about my dd's dark skin, and I just blow it off. I'll just say something like 'yeah, she sure is a pretty girl!" and leave it at that. If directly asked I'll say that her dad has dark skin - no big deal. As for my adopted son being the only blonde, when asked about that I'll just be honest discreetly say that he's adopted. Our son knows he's adopted, and we have a healthy, open line of communication about it. He knows that we're his forever parents. We're all confident that he's "ours", and it's pretty obvious so we don't feel like we have to make that point to people.

 

[IwasatWDWforamonth]

I can totally relate to having people talk like that too me,
when I was 14 my mom took me to some school reunion where there was a lot of really old people, and one lady made such a big deal about how I have to look like my dad because I look nothing like my mom
I kept on thinking what exactly did that mean, did I look like a boy? did she think I was ugly?, then minutes later my aunt comes up and says YOU NEED TO GAIN WEIGHT, I was like I want to go home, get me away from these people,

one other instance a lady who hadnt seen me since I was a baby looked at me and then said to my mom SHE'S HUGE sure I was 5'10 but geez she made me feel like the jolly green giant

 

[CindyBella]

I was beginning to think that I was the only one that didn't understand what made the OP so upset. This woman at the nail salon was remarking on the differences between mother and daughter. Why is that upsetting? Biology is a wonderous thing and you never know what it is going to turn out. The OP herself says that most people think that she is caucasion yet she got upset some someone found it interesting that she had spanish/mexican in her because it didn't appear so. This didn't have anything to do with specific race. It had to do with differences in appearance between a mother and her child. I think the OP WAY over reacted.

There are just so many things wrong with your post I do not know where to begin so......Why was it upsetting? It was none of her business to "remark on the differences between a mother and daughter". It scares me that you can not see that. Do you realize how you sound???? If you think I "overreacted" you should not have responded. I wanted DISfriends to responded so please take your posts elsewhere.

 

[CindyBella]

Cindy Bella, I told you I was clueless! After your last remark about Eva Longoria, I'm slowly getting it. I've always thought "brown" people were so beautiful. As a child, I envied my Italian and Hispanic friends. So it would literally never occur to me that other people would think otherwise. Which is why I'm so grateful our dd's take after dh. I thought his olive skin was so gorgeous when we were in high school.

The only silly thing that's ever happened to him based on his looks is occasionally folks will walk up to him and start speaking to him in a different language. He only knows English, so he just smiles and shrugs at them.

P.S. Look how dark even Jessica Simpson is. you see her as an example of someone who looks different than the other stars you cited. I, on the other hand, see her as very similar. She is very dark and has brown eyes.

Anyway, your daughter sounds beautiful!

Thank you. I do see what you mean about Jessica Simpson being tan with dark eyes. I guess to be more specific I was trying to say I was happy that there are more hispanics, african-americans and other races getting as much attention in the media as caucasians like Jessica Simpson.

By the way, I adore Jessica Simpson. I saw her new video last night on MTV. I was hoping Nick and Jess might get back together. Oh well.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My ex-husband's mother is very fair skinned with blonde hair and his father is Filippino. Their daughter is very dark and looks Filippino...doesn't look like the mother at all. When she was a baby, people would ask my ex-mil how long she has had her daughter in the country. She would always say, "I gave birth to her!" They never believed her.

Who cares what people say anyway?

 

[DVC Sadie]

Well since I was adopted in 1959 from South Korea you can bet your last dollar that I looked nothing like my parents. My parents and brother all had blonde hair and blue eyes while I had dark hair and eyes.

People use to stop and comment all the time but instead of my family taking the comments in a negative way we just took it as a compliment.

 

[arminnie]

I know two sisters who are so different it is unreal. One looks just like the father in the face where the other looks like the mother.

The older one is very tall, blonde, very fair with blue eyes, sweet as can be but dumber than a box of rocks. The other sister is a year younger. She is very short with dark, dark skin, hair and eyes and is absolutely brilliant (also very sweet). The two sisters love each other dearly in spite of their differences. I don't remember ever seeing them fight even as little girls.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Sometimes, people can be so nosey.

I got my nails done away from my regular spa for the wedding. I went in with my mom and my brother's GF who was a bridesmaid the night before we left to go over to Orlando. Something came up and the girl working on my mom said, "Aren't you a little young to be getting married?" I looked at her and said, "No. I've been legally married to him for 18 months anyway." We got married at the courthouse prior to having the big white wedding because he was in the military. Mind you, this is a girl who coupdn't have been much more than 18 and looked much younger than that. Later something came up and she said, "How long have you been together?" I said, "Five years on Thursday," as we got married 5 years from the day we met. Her eyes went big and she said, "WOW! That's a long time." "Yes, that's why we got married."

I don't think they intend to be rude or rub you the wrong way, but they do. Try your best to put it behind you. As for your daughter, maybe this is a good time to show her family pictures and point out where she's gotten her features from? I know I used to be fascinated by that... and it's great bonding time.