I need some good thoughts, funny jokes, happy stories, etc.

[Sonya]

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, found out something horrible about 2 students (different horriblinesses) (is that a word?) have a very busy day ahead of me, and generally feel out of sorts. Anyone have anything to cheer me up?

 

[DVC Sadie]

Well I'd offer you a drink but it is a little early, so how about good wishes. Here's hoping your day gets better and better.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This is the joke my daughter is doing for her speech class today:


A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................

"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

 

[astrocreep2000]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

 

[Certifiable WDW Nut]

How are the Washington Redskins and an opossum alike?













Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

 

[Sonya]

Already feeling better. Keep them coming. Love the dachshund one! And Certifiable, that would be the Chiefs!
Yeah, I knew it was bad when I was packing my lunch and thought, why can't I pack a beer? No no no!

 

[LindaR]

Well, you CAN pack a beer.....but that may just make a bad day worse! Just remember that it's FRIDAY!!!!!

 

[M&N]

Did you hear about this new deodorant? The instructions say "remove cap and push up bottom".

You can barely walk, but whenever you fart, the room smells awesome!

 

[Anne MN]

Tip of the day-

Do not dress up as a Pinata for Halloween!!!

the kids WILL get you!!

 

[Sonya]

M&N, I love a good fart joke! Thanks!

 

[Sonya]

Keep them coming, I just had a very rough hour or two. And thanks so much!

 

[Missy1961]

This is the joke my daughter is doing for her speech class today:


A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................

"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

 

[Maridw]

I got this from my brother years ago, but it is still funny. I had a very rough day and no one else was home. It was like he had read my thoughts and knew I needed cheering up. I thought it was something to say "Stay strong, you will get through this".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eim5jLlEPYI

 

[Maridw]

Here are a couple more that are good:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF0xhnqtfek&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikA1BgZ4b3Y&feature=related

 

[Maridw]

And this is my favorite Pixar short. Can't drive by a phone or electric wire without thinking about this film.

[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJzQiemCIuY&feature=related"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJzQiemCIuY&feature=related[/URL]

 

[Sonya]

Thanks! I can't get youtube here but I can't wait (really!) to be home so I can watch them.

I am feeling better, still stressed and worried about my students, but better. DH sent me this:
http://dontjudgemyhair.com/

 

[pilesoflaundry]

Whenever I need a good laugh I look up the free photo booth spoof videos on youtube. They are hilarious.

I hope your weekend is better.

 

[Maridw]

Hope your day got better.

 

[Sonya]

Made it! Got my beer and thanks to you I got my laughs! Thank you!