I need a pep talk....or something!!!

[marywdw]

Okay, so I have been in the early planning stages and have my contract signed and ready to mail for my custom wedding in November......then I come to the realization that we're pretty much on our own paying for everything.....I think I was hoping my Dad would offer to pay for part....and my Mom will try to help, but I don't want her to stress over money. And what happesn 30 days before when I have to pay for the whole thing, and she realizes that she couldn't help as much as she wants to? I'm in sort of a unique situation....my fiance is MUCH older than I am and this is his second marriage, (and he doesn't have any family) - so he's not into the big wedding...he just wants to get married! And I would feel awful if he ended up footing the bill so that 50 of my family and friends could attend (most of which he's never met, and up until we started discussing the guest list, he'd never really heard of. Speaking of the guest list, he has 1 person on it!)
Long story short (too late), I think I'm going to have an intimate....Part of me is thinking the low-key route is best anyways, and I can save more money this way. I can use the "extra" to buy those DVC points I've been wanting (and those last for YEARS!). Also, he can have his 1 guest and I can have my parents, 2 sisters, BIL and 2 nephews - the most important part of the guest list anyway! Then we can take everyone out to dinner. I spent the better part of yesterday in hysterics - I'm really upset and VERY disappointed....but I'm trying to convince myself that this is a good thing....I need you all to tell me it's going to be alright.....that no matter what, it's going to be a great day. And I'd love to hear from some Intimate brides who are just as excited about their event as they would be if it were a custom....
Also, I've looked on the Wishbook about Intimates, but could anyone give me more info. - planning-wise (i.e., can you still do a cake tasting? can you get a different cake than the "basic" one they offer? do you meet with floral?)
Thanks guys! I know you'll all understand!!!

 

[orangetiggs]

The way to look at it is your getting married to the man you love, it should not matter who is there and where you are!

You have the advantage that you are getting married in disney to the man you love and that some of your family can be there

It will be fine, it will be the best day of your life

 

[JandJ]

Exactly - the two most important people will be there - you and the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Best Wishes!!

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

I had an intimate wedding all the way back in 1997 & let me tell you , I wouldnt have changed a thing.
Infact im doing a VR this year & it will be another Intimate.

DHs family is hispanic & HUGE..& my family is small....we did an Intimate due to different customs & the size
It would have been to hard to make everyone happy & besides it was about us, not them
So it ended up being my mom & her DH & it was nice....no one to complain or keep track of

I believe as long as you have a wonderful time, it was all worth it, regardless of the # of people who attend

& your right, you can now use that extra money for some fabulous extras.

Dont let people ruin your thunder.....i would just like to know when weddings became all about the guests & not the couple

Your doing the right thing...& it will probably really mean alot to your future DH

 

[karentan]

hiya
you dont get a cake tasting with the intimates. you can upgrade the cake to a custom design, you can choose a design.
you dont meet with disney floral, but you can email them and phone them. you can upgrade the intimate floral options too. i had an intimate and was very happy with it. if you need any other advice or help, feel free to PM me, i'd be happy to help.
i'm sure it'll work out great for you in the end

 

[JandJ]

And I'd love to hear from some Intimate brides who are just as excited about their event as they would be if it were a custom....
Also, I've looked on the Wishbook about Intimates, but could anyone give me more info. - planning-wise (i.e., can you still do a cake tasting? can you get a different cake than the "basic" one they offer? do you meet with floral?)
Thanks guys! I know you'll all understand!!!

Sorry for double-posting

I LOVED our Intimate wedding - it was completely perfect! DH wanted a small wedding (he's divorced too and did the big wedding years before and didn't want to go through that again) and I just wanted to get married to him and wanted it at Disney. A "traditional" wedding would have put me over the edge in my sanity Funny because I plan parties as part of my job, did a HUGE holiday party in 2005 for $20k but I hated the idea of having all that for myself. Plus, I have a huge family and a lot of friends and we would have been at 150 guests just on my side. No thank you!

We had 8 guests and of those DH had 2 - his parents. We also had my niece as MOH (our only attendant). DH wanted to have his best friend as Best Man but he became ill and couldn't travel to Orlando.

I lived in Orlando while we were planning so we visited all of the sites and fell in love with the WL Sunrise Terrace. It's the most private outdoor location (Sunset Pointe is pretty private too) and the view is spectacular. From seeing it in person I knew how I'd decorate it and where everything would be. I brought in silk flower arrangements and table cloths, bows for the benches, and made a guest book page. Disney would have provided anything we wanted, but since I was driving in and it saved money, I did it myself and it worked out perfect. BFF and MOH decorated the Terrace the day of the wedding.

We upgraded our cake but didn't get a cake tasting. I think if you speak with your coodinator and you're in Disney and they have time they might be able to get you a taste testing but that's not part of the Intimate package. Upgrading the cake was an extra $265. We also added extra floral and favors. We did not have characters or do any sort of dessert party. In fact, after the ceremony, cake cutting, and the pictures, our guests went off on their own, DH and I had a private dinner in our room, then we took everyone to brunch the next day - and everyone loved that! We got rave reviews for everything about our wedding. It really was absolutely perfect

If you want to have a larger celebration, you could do a small at-home reception later and invite your friends and family.

Whatever you decide, don't lose sight of the fact that the most important thing is marrying the man of your dreams . . .

 

[lurkyloo]

Your wedding will be fabulous! For one thing, the planning and even the actual day will be a lot less stressful because you have fewer people and options to coordinate, plus you won't be freaking out about the cost. The people on this board will tell you time and again that it is better to start your marriage debt-free than spend years paying off a one-day blowout.

Another thing is, your fiance sounds like he'll be more comfortable with a small wedding, so that's a plus. Oh, and DVC points - talk about the gift that keeps on giving!

Plus, you can still work with Disney to customize certain things, as other posters have said, like the cake and your bouquet. I believe Summer-Caitlin is having her Intimate cake customized for no extra charge - you might check out her planning journal.

And this is kinda sneaky, but I've been wondering what would happen if you went for your food/cake-tasting and *then* switched to an Intimate...

 

[disprincessatheart]

And this is kinda sneaky, but I've been wondering what would happen if you went for your food/cake-tasting and *then* switched to an Intimate...

I think the only "issue" would be that they'd switch your planner when you switched packages, so if you didn't care about that, you could totally do the tasting - it was really fun, so I can't say I wouldn't think about it if it was me!

 

[marywdw]

You are all SO sweet....just what I needed! I feel a lot better, and I've e-mailed Joe at DFTW to fill him in.
Doing the tasting first is tempting, but I'd have to send my contract and deposit first and I'm scared to get wrapped up in that if I know I'm going to change it....plus, then they'll send out the save the dates to 75 people which are no longer on the guest list!
I really appreciate you're support on this and I'm sure I will be asking many questions in the future!!!