I need a Do- Over!!! **Completed 6/13**

[Crazy Kanga]

Now, we have made it to our lovely savanna view room, with only a partial, people pen view as well(just my luck). Oh well we have animals so I am happy. As I have mentioned(I think)this trip was sort of a reward for my MIL who almost died about a year ago. I know,I know what you're thinking. I have really been doggin' her out and I am some kind of cruel heartless beeotch for talking about her this way, and you might be partially right. But, as I have also stated, anyone who knows her TOTALLY understands where I am coming from. But, I digress. Since she has had a hard year with multiple health issues, I began planning this trip with/for HER about 7 months in advance. She has always been a fan of "fancy"places, and had mentioned that she would LOVE to stay at one of them sometime. So I went hard to work to try and make her dream come true, by searching tirelessly for discounts and such and ended up with a split stay at the AKL and BWV. Of course once we are at one of said "fancy" resorts, she immediately starts noticing how they have used faux materials to achieve the desired effect ie the vinyl faux marble floors in the elevators and the obviously faux wood beams in the AKL lobby, which are by the way fake, but who cares. Anyway. I am now begining to regret putting this reward trip together for her as she is really starting to get on our nerves, and we haven't even stepped foot in a park yet.

Now it just so happens that we had not planned to go to a park on arrival day so we spent some time enjoying our view... for all of about 5 minutes that is. Then she starts playing with my sons stuffed animals and taking pictures of them instead of the real live animals, that I just dropped $250 a night (with a code) for her to enjoy. So typical! Anywho, my dh and I go down to get a few things out of the car that we had forgotten, when a nice couple who were on there way to the airport, offered us some of there liquids that they were unable to take home with them on the plane. JACKPOT! A wonderful bottle of Coppola Pinot Noir was just what the Dr. ordered after the afternoon from , well you know. And a half case of bottled water to boot. But who needs that when you're in Orlando on the coldest week in November on record. I only need to rehydrate when I am sweating. Give me more pinot, that's what I'm screamin'. But I really didn't utter those words out loud(or did I). Can't remember. But, nonetheless, I was set for the evening.
Some friends of ours from back home happened to be down for a few days for there anniversary, so they dropped by to mooch, I mean share in my good fortune. Later we had a lovely dinner at Boma, that is until we got the bill and my bipolar Dave Ramseyite dh almost had a stroke on the spot. Dang, forgot that those pesky Disney suits want to charge 55 pound children as adults. Man that sucks, and Oh, boy did grandma let that waitress know what a travesty it was. Grandma strikes again. At least dh has the social graces to suffer in silence when faced with the $$$$. But, as you already know(if you have been paying attention) that good ole Grandma is not one to give a rip what others think. The nickname Oblivia was given to her a few years back on another ill-fated family vacation when we all noticed that she is totally oblivious to the social graces that most other people in the world try to adhere to. She on the other hand is totally oblivious to any and all forms of socially acceptable behavior, and therefore to any reactions to her insane,rude, or outlandish humiliating public displays. The only upside to all of this loud carrying on about the audacious behavior displayed at the bill paying ceremony, was that the sweet waitress went and changed the bill to reflect a child price. SCORE. Or maybe not. I think I would rather have my self respect, than a few more bucks in my pocket, but the damage was done, and I was half lit from above mentioned free libations, so it was all good!

 

[mom2jcc]

Wow!! How entertaining....so sorry it is at your expense though. Just think how relaxing your next rip will be

 

[Crazy Kanga]

Finally we are going to the parks. We load up our stuff into the car, and head to the Magic Kingdom, but only after a minor Grandma moment at the hotel concierge where she is buying her 3 day hopper. She asked me before the trip how much the ticket would cost and I told her about $250, to which she replied "you're kidding me, last time I went to Disney(circa 1980) it only cost me around $25." Yeah well there is that pesky little fact of life called inflation that we all have to deal with Grandma. Nevertheless, when we go to purchase the tickets and the sweet little old lady at the concierge desk tells her the amount, she launches right into the shocked and outraged speech again, and looks at me like I have sabotoged her because "she had no idea it was going to cost this much, and don't they have some sort of senior discount" as if we had not just had this conversation 2 weeks ago at home. She is ,by the way, notorious for claiming she has never heard information before when clearly she has. Like when she showed up at 12:45 for Thanksgiving dinner when I clearly told her 12. She was adament that I had said 12:30, which would still have made her late, but I KNOW I told her 12. This is a definite recurring theme in our lives with her, so it really shouldn't have surprised me when the whole "I am shocked at these ticket prices" thing happened, but it never ceases to frost my butt everytime.
Finally we are off to the MK, and we arrive in time to watch the opening ceremony train of characters arrive. All went well there for a while as my dh went with her to rent a scooter and my kids and I went to ride some rides. We were able to do Dumbo, Pooh, and Mad Tea Party in the first 20 minutes and then met back up with them for Small World which was a walk on then over to Peter Pan and then to Philharmagic. All is going remarkably well until my son wants to ride on Grandmas lap and drive the scooter. She is more than delighted to let him, and Lord knows he could probably drive it better than she was doing. Then within a few minutes a nice CM informs us that it is against the rules and that there was only 1 rider per scooter and the driver must be at least 18. So I promptly appologized and made him get off. So a few seconds later when the CM was out of sight she waves my son back over and says "OK you can get back on now, he's gone." I said no, we are going to follow the rules. She then tries to make him get on again to which my dh says in a rather irritated tone, "No Mom just drop it". Again she tries to make him get back on and this time I am about to lose it. I got up in her face and said firmly(without yelling but with a look that meant business) "NO, we are not teaching our kids it is OK to break the rules". Then she huffs and pouts and tells us how rude we are to her and how she just wants her grandkids to be able to have some fun. We're in freakin' DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!! I think they are having plenty of fun without the illegal child driving the scooter ride! I didn't actually say this of course, but in my mind I am screaming it. My dh has already had it with her and launches on her for a good 3 minutes and then we have some uncomfortable silence for a while. Then out of the blue, up ahead near the teacups she spots a character and off she scoots toward him yellin "OOH, OOH, OOH" Just like an impetuous 2 year old the clouds of her previous mood are lifted as she sees ahead of her a character... there just for her. Oblivia strikes again. Heading for the exit area of the character meet, she runs right into the character handler who is waving her down yelling "Ma'am, Ma'am, stop! You have to go around the other way and get in line" Yeah, with that mob of pre-schoolers who are patiently waiting there turn. "Oh, nevermind". Return to pout mode.

 

[briar*rose]

OOoooh. I'm sorry that you need a do-over and that your MIL is such a pain in the rump to deal with.

I feel bad saying that I'm enjoying your trip report but I am, so here I am subcribing to your misery.

I hope your next trip is much more painless.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

more please!

oh, and remember the next time you go to great lengths to do something really nice (and expensive) for a "less than congenial" family member; no good deed goes unpunished

this does not apply to friends, strangers or "reasonable" family members.

 

[famfab5]

Oh Goodness!!! I really, really can relate to your situation with Oblivia...mainly because we have one of our own!! Unfortunately, the Oblivia in our family is MY mother but I have been reading excerpts of your report to my dh and he is Can't wait to hear what happens next!

 

[Wazzo]

OH my!

Here is some pixie dust to wish you a happy do-over!

 

[Lauralee131]

Ok, I've been waiting....

And waiting....

I have SERIOUS popcorn bloat...

You can't just keep me hanging like this? And it may sound mean, but I'm enjoying hearing about someone else's nasty trip as my DSIL/BIL totally RUINED ours and we too, needed a do-over, hence our Magical Mulligan (shameless plug) trip report.

If you want to feel a bit better about your Monster-In-Law, go over to the completed trip reports and read the Magically Dysfunctional Gathering...trust me, it'll make you feel better about your trip!!!

So come on...let's have some more!!!

 

[KarlaG4Kids]

DH & I got our do-over trip in December and it was fantastic. We stayed at Coronado Springs and loved it. The crowds were pretty light. We loved the Christmas programs and decorations. And BEST OF ALL we got to do exactly what WE wanted to do. We didn't have to worry about making anyone else happy. We didn't have to listen to whining and complaining (except my DH did a tad bit of this). It was great. Good luck on your do-over trip!

 

[Lovemy3babes]

Oh my, oh my! What a character your MIL sounds like. Sorry she put such a damper on your trip. That stinks!

 

[Crazy Kanga]

Sorry I've been away so long. Alot going on over the holidays and all. I'll be back with more soon.
LYMI,
CK

 

[Crazy Kanga]

So we move on over to Tomorrowland because we want to ride "Buzzlikeyear", TTA, SM, and Puppies of Progress. By this time it is like stroller and scooter bumper cars over there, and we are all getting mighty tired of the whole scooter thing. We park it over across from Buzz and head in there for a spin and then over to puppies for another spin. Oh, by the way I won the bet with dh that the outside of CoP does rotate. "Oh, Puhleez dude, do you think you can outwit a Disney Geek? I think not!" It was a nice rest and we sang "It's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" everytime cuz that's what we do. My 12 yo ds, who is autistic,will not allow us to miss this one no matter what(along with TTA,IASW,Pooh,teacups....) Anywho, we are fortunate enough to walk out just as the new High School musical show was starting. Another bet won, because my other son had said "No way is the HSM show in Tomorrowland, it has to be at MGM. High School Musical in Tomorrowland makes no sense." Of course that was true(and obviously someone at Disney agreed, cuz they're supposedly moving it to MGM), but nonetheless I was correct again(of course) and he was still thrilled to see it, even though I BURNED him! It was a cute show even though the obviously gay guys(not that there's anything wrong with that) in their late 20's or early 30's acting as high school basketball players was asking a little much of my suspention of disbelief. Then we decide to go for a whirl on TTA since half of us weren't up for SM, and we needed a rest. I LOVE TTA, especially the "Paging Mr. Tom Morrow" line. It cracks me up every time. We have a little trouble getting Grandma up the extremely steep conveyor belt thing that gets you up to the platform, and then again stepping on to the moving platform, but eventually we are seated and travelling through SM, so that was gonna be as close as we came to riding it this go around. After that little adventure we decide we have had enough fun for the morning and head back to check in at our new resort BWV! Once we ditch the scooter, I whisper in my dh's ear that we are going to have to get a wheelchair instead tonight at Epcot so we wouldn't have to deal with her trying to let the kids drive in her lap, and run into people etc.
Tune in next time when we hear Grandma say..."Where's the phone book? I need to look up the number of the nearest hospital.

 

[Liz]

I am enjoying your report very much! That last line about the hospital sounds exactly like something my mom would say. Can't wait!

 

[jeriber]

Hello?!? Anyone-did you end up at the hospital?

 

[LovableGluttons]

Oh my goodness! Please tell me she will NOT be going wiht you on your next trip???

 

[Crazy Kanga]

In case you haven't noticed I have lightend up a little on Oblivia because I have been feeling a little guilty about how I have been portraying her in this trip report. Even though it is all true, I have felt bad that I have been telling the world what all of the greater North Alabama area already knows about this crazy woman. Oh well, here we go...
When we arrive to check in to BWV, we are immediately shown to our villa which, though is only standard view, is very nice(IMHO). After a faux marble moment in the elevator(I kid you not, she asked yet another guest if they thought it was real marble or not...same reaction as before mind you) But as soon as we walk in the door and I flip on the light switch, I hear a loud POP! Of course, because I haven't been livin' right we have blown a ciruit breaker or light bulb or who knows what and we have NO lights. So the bellman calls mainteneance and tells them what has happened and within 15 minutes we have two or three guys up here tryin' to figure out what we rednecks have done! So..., while all of this madness is going on Oblivia is trying to find the phone book. At first this doesn't phase me because I am trying to figure out what is going on with the lights, but later, when I hear her asking " how far are you from Disney", and telling her medical history do I become ALARMED! I ask what she is doing and she replies... Oh, I am just calling the emergency room because I think I might need to go get...OK here is where I refuse to tell anything private about her medical condition, but suffice it to say YOU DON"T WANT TO KNOW!!!!!! Anyway, I talk her out of costing us untold amounts of $$$$$$ and time, for which I assure you we neednt do, and get her to come on to Epcot with us.
Now when we get to the International Gateway, we talk her into getting a wheelchair instead of a scooter since we wanted to control every move she made. OK, we didn't REALLY tell her that, because that wouldn't have worked. So instead we made up some story about how it would be so much easier on her if dh wheeled her around and yada yada yada, and whatever we said she bought and we were in. My dh then proceeds to enter into what I like to call the "I am about to have a stroke" phase of our trip, which I am afraid will continue until trip end. The uphill climb over the IG bridge was a little rough, but then we cruised on over to FW where we rode Soarin' which got us all into a considerably better mood. Well that was once we got there. Of course we had to take the 1980 model elevator downstairs and of course we had to have the "faux marble" coversation again. In a 1980's elevator!!!!! She wants to try to prove a point that " if they use vinyl in here, then they obviously use it at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, too." YEAH RIGHT!

 

[lovethecastle]

Crazy Kanga
You are a brave one. I will not even bring my own mother to Disney(or anywhere eles for that matter). All she does is worry about where the next bathroom is & when can she light up her cigerette so she can poision us with her 2nd hand smoke.
The very last time i went anywhere with her she hijacked my dh to go to the bar & left me with my 2 young(at the time) kids after their baths.
Yes I know, I have issues.

 

[corinnak]

You do deserve a do-over, just based on the first two days. But you have to finish this - we are ready to hear your testimony. It's cathartic! FWIW, I'm sure the floors in the AKL elevator are genuine non-vinyl!

 

[Crazy Kanga]

Ok, where were we? Oh yeah, the lovely 1980 model elevator in the Land Pavillion which DOES by the way have vinyl floors, not to be confused with the marble floors at the deluxe resorts which may or may not be some form of faux material according to Oblivia ! Ok then, now we are off to ride Soarin' which is sure to lighten the mood and give us the much needed stress relief and relaxation to prevent the stroke that we could have at any minute . As usual, we are all thrilled with this ride, and since it was Grandma's first time, she was doubley impressed. Thank goodness, she is finaly truly impressed with something on this trip and she isn't trying to figure out how Disney is scamming her into believing it is something it's not. Next was over to one of our other favorites, Spaceship Earth. As we pass Rome burning, we have to say "smells like chicken" because my sweet autistic son said that the very first time we rode SE. Obviously he thought the smoke smell smelled like chicken(we like our chicken smoked here in the south, not just fried, in case you're wondering what smoke has to do with chicken). Anywho that's sort of one of those inside jokes that you just had to be there for to really appreciate, but still I like telling it just in case some of you want to say really loud "Smells Like Chicken" when you ride SE. I am hoping that next time we are there I hear other families saying it too, so I will know someone out there is reading my trip report.
It's getting close to time for Illuminations by now so we head over to mosey around WS and grab a few snacks and some coffee from Kringla Bakery in Norway, and I have to have my school bread! If you like coconut, you really must try it. Then we decide to watch Illuminations facing toward Spaceship Earth in the center because we have never watched it from this perspective. We have usually been somewhere near tho other side of the lagoon facing the countries so we can see them light up. Well, I have to say it wasn't the greatest idea, but at least we tried it. Not that it was terrible, just not as impressive. We almost didn't stay because we are all freezing our butts off. It had dropped down into the low 50's with a very stiff wind and none of us had worn warm enough clothes, but we stuck it out and shivered thru it. Once again Grandma was pretty impressed although a little numb from the cold. Oh, I almost forgot, we were cracked up by this man standing next to us at Illuminations. We were standing against the railing right in front of one of those launch tubes for some of the fireworks and when one of them shot out it was pretty loud and startling. Well this man was standing there with his little boy and when that thing went off, he bolted, leaving his kid behind. Man I wish I had gotten that on video, I think I could have won $10,000 on AFV! I would have been ashamed if I were him, leaving his little guy behind to be picked off by snipers.
Well after that we headed back thru the IG to the Boardwalk and up to our room for some much needed hot chocolate and sleep! But as usual it wasn't a usual trip back. Tune in next time when we discover that we have made it back to our room with a little souvenir from Epcot!

 

[mom2jcc]

You crack me up.....at least you are honest.