i need a big hug please

[natalielongstaff]

..im really upset about a couple of things that happened today, my ds has been sent too the headmaster today for using racist language he obviously had no idea what the word was that he used but it was right that he was pulled up about it.

and also another parent in the playground made a remark about me not caring for my kids !!! its not the 1st time something like this has been said and ive no idea why although my kids are a lot more independant than some of the other kids in their class !!!

ive been playing it over in my mind and now its really upset me, ive got no chance of sleeping for the next few hours.

 

[wilma-bride]

Oh Nat honey, I know (probably better than most) what it is like when someone intimates that you don't care about your kids. I always console myself with the fact that I know how much I love my kids and they know how much I love them - and what other people think is completely unimportant.

As far as your son using racist language, the trouble is kids pick things up from all over the place and use words, often with little or no understanding of the true meaning. At least you recognise that it is right that he has been reprimanded - maybe you could (if you haven't already) have a word with him and explain why the word he used is wrong.

Please don't beat yourself up about it, though. Being a parent is such a tough job - and the saying 'Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes' is so true - only you know how you feel about your kids - never try and let anyone tell you (or anyone else) different

 

[wickesy]

Natalie. Nobody has the right to criticise how you are raising your children. I'm sure they are far better behaved than most.

Don't give them the satisfaction of losing sleep over it. As the saying goes "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

At least now DS knows that what he said was wrong and won't use that word again.

 

[natalielongstaff]

i have pm'd you

 

[scottishsue]

Nat......... try not to worry too much !! Kids will always say things they are not supposed to say. It's just the way they are - I think we all know that.

And I'm sure you care very much for your kids - you sound like a really lovely lady who is very caring.

Also if your children are independent that is a good thing, isn't it !!

to you, and try to get to sleep - have a drink, it might help !!

 

[Netty]

Nat you know how good a mum you are, don't let other people let you think otherwise. they are probably jealous of you and your relationship with your kids anyway!
kids will be kids your ds is learning all the time, he now knows its wrong, don't take anything to heart.
Listen to yourself thats all that matters

 

[mumloveseeyore]

i'm sure you are a great mum, the fact that you are worrying about this shows how much you care. Try not to let other people upset you, i know its not easy. love Gill

 

[Database]

Nat,

I have a vivid memory of me at approx five years of age sitting on a swing set outside our military quarters. I was singing a very nasty racial slur!

My parents NEVER used that word. I have no idea where I learned it. But there I was singing it out loud! My mother was ready to die. I remember is the absolute horror in my mother's voice and I knew I was in big trouble.

God BLess her! We lived in an integrated neighborhood. I wonder how many people heard me and jumped to the conclusion that my parents raised me to say that word?

Hope you get some rest tonight! Sorry that you're feeling the sting of other's judgement.

 

[BRobson]

Lots of for you. I think being a mum is one of the toughest jobs out and and can assure you that you are a great mum .

I am sure your DS didnt mean to use the words but there are so many influences out there that they pick these things up and use the words regardless of the consequences.

What right do that mothers have to stand and say you dont care for your kids. You sound like a great mum to me and are there to pick your kids up every day from school and be there for them. Independance is a great thing in kids - there is a big difference between that and neglect The mum in question has probably nothing better to do anyway - could even be envious of you

Try and put her comments to the back of your mind - you are a good mum

 

[rpbert1]

Yes children use words ,and they have no idea what thaey mean or the hurt it could cause .
A few weeks ago my DD told us how she had called some children a name, a word we would never use, we asked her if she new what it meant , but she did not have a clue. We asked her where she heard the word ,and she said in a well known childrens movie, cannot remember the name, we said its not in the movie , but my eldest daughter said it is, so they pick up many words without having the understanding of them, so i would not worry to much.
AS for not caring about your children, you know you do , you have no control on what others say or do, so i would not lose any sleep over them.

 

[jen_uk]

Oh Nat Just ignore the horrible woman, its obvious to even us on here what a fab mum you are. Lets face it women are very b****y, as someone else said its more than likely that they are jealous and so feel the need to make snide comments.

 

[wilma-bride]

Hope you're feeling better now Nat - sleep well hun

 

[florida sun]

Nat, loads of hugs for you, I cant say anymore than whats already been said on here,please dont worry,your a wonderful mother

 

[natalielongstaff]

thanks everyone i knew i could count on you, you're the best x x

 

[jockey]

Nat I still remember calling someone names and my Dad asking me if I knew what it mean't - I was only using the word as I had heard others use it even though I didn't know the meaning! This was a LONG time ago!


Those other mothers will be eating their words soon I am sure! Just wait until their kids step out of line!

Please try not to worry too much.

 

[eyoreaud]

Hi Natalie
Only just catching up before bed, i'm so sorry that awful woman made you feel bad, please try not to take it to heart too much, you know you're a good mum

As for the thing your Ds said, well he probably doesn't even understand what it means. Try not to worry too much kids say the queerest things It's NOT a bad reflection on their parents, it's just things they pick up and say without thinking.

Try not to worry too much, Hope you manage to get some sleep

 

[fizz13]

Oh natalie, I'm so sorry this happened to you, it doesn't matter how careful we are as parents, kids pick stuff up everywhere, its just unfortunate it happened at school. And as for that woman,well the only opinion that counts is yours, your kids and your DH and if they think you're doing a good job then thats the end of it. That woman is not in your home 24/7 so how would she know? I doubt very much she is the perfect mother (who is?) and has no right to criticise someone else. Just don't ever doubt yourself, we all do the best we can, which is all we can do. i hope this message finds you well rested in the morning, and holding your head up high

 

[Donaldduck66]

Hi Natalie, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. I know it's not much help but try not to worry about it too much. unfortunately we're liiving in a day and age where it's unpolitically correct to say anything that remotely offends anyone. I've heard of one or two instances where the same thing has happenend and innocent children who obviously don't understand what they've said have been taken into the headmasters office. As for the other mums, I'm sure their kids aren't perfect. I must admit I had the same when mine were younger but, like yours, they were more independant than most children their own age. I hope you managed to get some sleep and try not to worry. It'll soon blow over. X

 

[mandymouse]

Oh Nat, you know where I am if you need to have a good rant (or cry), I can be over in 15 minutes ~ just let me know bab

Mandy

 

[natalielongstaff]

Oh Nat, you know where I am if you need to have a good rant (or cry), I can be over in 15 minutes ~ just let me know bab

Mandy

thank you