I may be pregnant....BUT...

[Iott Family]

I still have 3 more months...and I am tired of all the people who use it as a 'free for all' for anything they want to do or say...

Please...if you don't know me...don't touch my stomach. I just might grab some part of you in retaliation

No...I'm not having twins. I am sure...but thanks for telling me I look fat, anyways.

It is none of your business whether we 'planned this pregnancy' or not. Can I ask if your chest is fake??? Can I ask if you had plastic surgery? Boundaries...people...

Don't tell me I'm 'crazy' for having 3 kids. I'll tell you you are crazy for annoying me with your stupid questions.

There is much more...but this 'crazy, pregnant lady' needs a nap!

That is all...thank you for letting me vent!

Well if you are a crazy lady for having 3 kids then lock me up in the looney bin because I have 4 and love every minute of chaos they bring!

 

[Robinrs]

I wobbled to the subway for 9 months during my first pregnancy. I saw HUNDREDS of people a day. Most people acted like they knew me, they touched me, asked me when I was due. I felt like a celebrity.

I had my son... and he died three days later.

The next trip to the subway was not as fun. "what did you have?" "So, hows the baby?" "Look at you, WOW, who's taking care of the baby"....

Try dealing with the remarks you get after something like that.

Most people mean well. Babies make us crazy. Pregnant bellies are no longer a part of your body to them and they want to love the baby.They don't really want to upset or hurt you.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I'm on my 3rd pregnancy. I've had lots of people give me tons of stupid comments along the "you know there's ways to prevent that" to "how are you going to afford that" especially since DS won't even be 2 when this baby is born.

I want to turn the uncomfortableness around on people so I will say yes I do know you can prevent pregnancy but my IUD failed thank you very much. Usually that gets people to shut up. I've been real touchy about this pregnancy, lots of times I will just tell people I don't want to talk about it and change the subject.

Chin up mom. Some great friends of ours LOs are 15 mo apart - so not what they were planning but the lil monsters are the lights of their lives and in part, ours as well. Our kids are all close in age but those 2 have something so special between them. I chalk it up to the closeness in age. Best of luck the rest of your way through. Good things come in surprise packages!

 

[bettymae1121]

Those of you that have had comments when expecting your 3rd just astound me. Since when is having 3 kids considered a big family? If my mother thought having 3 kids was crazy, I wouldn't be sitting here!

 

[sbell111]

I normally let nothing get to me, lol. But I am like a tightly wound rubber band when pg...at least according to DH...

I rest my case.

 

[talulabelle]

I have been pregnant six times and never had a stranger or someone other than family touch my stomach. I don't remember any rude comments even when I told them the last one was my sixth.

Enjoy your pregnancy.

how long ago was you last pregnancy? People have become much more bold and brazen in recent years.

 

[talulabelle]

Hang in there OP!

I cant fathom someone saying "were you trying"?!?! And if I wasnt?! idiots.

Check out this shirt.. too cute!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/51204693/any-more-questions-funny-custom
add a line..."yes it was planned"

Love and NEED this shirt. I would add the lines, "Yes, this makes five" and "No, I'm not crazy"

 

[RNMOM]

I agree it is an invasion of your body to touch you but from the other side....bringing a baby into the world is such a mystical and miraculous thing. I have had 2 children and if I could experience the feeling of having them moving inside and the overwhelming love I had for them I would do it in a heartbeat. The reality is very much different since they are in their 20's now and life is very difficult with them both.

Everyone wants to be supportive and part of your journey. As with many other experiences in life, we talk before we think about how the statement will be received and often we sound nosey, bossy, preachy and many other things that aren't intended.

It is rare that anyone wants to offend or hurt you so try taking it with a bit of patience. Yes, I know you are short on this now with having two children to attend to. I hope you have an easy birth and that all is wonderful and just the way you want it to be.

By the way...did you plan on having 3 children??????

 

[dogluva]

I wobbled to the subway for 9 months during my first pregnancy. I saw HUNDREDS of people a day. Most people acted like they knew me, they touched me, asked me when I was due. I felt like a celebrity.

I had my son... and he died three days later.

The next trip to the subway was not as fun. "what did you have?" "So, hows the baby?" "Look at you, WOW, who's taking care of the baby"....

Try dealing with the remarks you get after something like that.

Most people mean well. Babies make us crazy. Pregnant bellies are no longer a part of your body to them and they want to love the baby.They don't really want to upset or hurt you.

I am so sorry about your loss.

 

[dogluva]

Chin up mom. Some great friends of ours LOs are 15 mo apart - so not what they were planning but the lil monsters are the lights of their lives and in part, ours as well. Our kids are all close in age but those 2 have something so special between them. I chalk it up to the closeness in age. Best of luck the rest of your way through. Good things come in surprise packages!

I have two boys that are a year apart. The pregnancies blended into one. They are very, very close. Babies are very special and I wouldn't let something like someone touching my stomach get to me. They don't mean anything mean by it.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I agree it is an invasion of your body to touch you but from the other side....bringing a baby into the world is such a mystical and miraculous thing. I have had 2 children and if I could experience the feeling of having them moving inside and the overwhelming love I had for them I would do it in a heartbeat. The reality is very much different since they are in their 20's now and life is very difficult with them both.

Everyone wants to be supportive and part of your journey. As with many other experiences in life, we talk before we think about how the statement will be received and often we sound nosey, bossy, preachy and many other things that aren't intended.

It is rare that anyone wants to offend or hurt you so try taking it with a bit of patience. Yes, I know you are short on this now with having two children to attend to. I hope you have an easy birth and that all is wonderful and just the way you want it to be.

By the way...did you plan on having 3 children??????

I so agree with the bolded part. After reading so many of these replies I started vowing to turn around and walk the other way whenever I saw a pregnant woman. It seems there is nothing I can say that she won't take offense to so why even bother talking to her?

On the bright side, I've known several co-workers and friends who've been pregnant and they seem to understand that I, as someone who's never had kids, may be uncomfortable trying to word my questions/conversation in a way that won't seem intentionally offensive. They don't seem to be offended, anyway. Maybe they're just nice to my face and go onto a message board when they get home and complain about that rude person at work. Who knows?

My first reaction will always one of joy for you and your DH. But if I ask you if it's twins or a single, it's not because I'm being rude...it's because I truly don't know. OR maybe I'm making conversation about the blessed event and that's just one of my general "go to" questions right up there with "Do you know it's gender yet?"

I never touch another person, though. I don't like to be touched by other people so I return the favor. At least no one will be complaining about me doing that.

 

[talulabelle]

Just got back from the bus stop with my 2 younger ones. A dad I don't even care for touched my stomach when talking about the baby. I'm only 10 weeks, so basically he was just touching my fat roll that is being pushed out a little by a very small baby bump. I let it pass, but God help him if he does it again. I will have to make it clear how I feel about that. I mean really, that is a place that I would even feel a bit embarrassed if my husband touched me there (because of the fat I mean)

 

[Domas]

When my sister was pregnant with her twins everyone had some advice for her, but when she gave birth to them....it was like :why don`t they wear hats, are you breastfeeding them, if not-why? don`t you have milk...? And so on...

 

[cruisnfamily]

My girlfriend had her 3rd boy 5 years ago, at the time her other 2 sons were aged 12 and 8. I can't tell you how many people asked her "same dad?" or "2nd husband?" or "was he an accident?". Just because there was an 8 year gap everybody assumed she had stopped having babies with her husband and this child must either be an accident or being produced because she had remarried. Really! What gives anybody the right to ask such a thing? For the record, it was the same husband it was a planned pregnancy that took 3 years of trying. They started trying for number 3 when number 2 started kindergarten but it took a little while. Should she explain that story to every random stranger who asked?

And then of course there was the ever present "are you trying for a girl?".

All the stupidity did annoy her but the worst was the assumption she must have remarried.

 

[talulabelle]

My girlfriend had her 3rd boy 5 years ago, at the time her other 2 sons were aged 12 and 8. I can't tell you how many people asked her "same dad?" or "2nd husband?" or "was he an accident?". Just because there was an 8 year gap everybody assumed she had stopped having babies with her husband and this child must either be an accident or being produced because she had remarried. Really! What gives anybody the right to ask such a thing? For the record, it was the same husband it was a planned pregnancy that took 3 years of trying. They started trying for number 3 when number 2 started kindergarten but it took a little while. Should she explain that story to every random stranger who asked?

And then of course there was the ever present "are you trying for a girl?".

All the stupidity did annoy her but the worst was the assumption she must have remarried.

That's another line I should add to my t-shirt. "Yes, same husband"

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

My girlfriend had her 3rd boy 5 years ago, at the time her other 2 sons were aged 12 and 8. I can't tell you how many people asked her "same dad?" or "2nd husband?" or "was he an accident?". Just because there was an 8 year gap everybody assumed she had stopped having babies with her husband and this child must either be an accident or being produced because she had remarried. Really! What gives anybody the right to ask such a thing? For the record, it was the same husband it was a planned pregnancy that took 3 years of trying. They started trying for number 3 when number 2 started kindergarten but it took a little while. Should she explain that story to every random stranger who asked?

And then of course there was the ever present "are you trying for a girl?".

All the stupidity did annoy her but the worst was the assumption she must have remarried.

Oh...I've already been asked this! With this pg and my last! My boys are 6 years apart (and look nothing alike). I actually got snarky during the end of my last pg...and said "Why yes they have the same father...would you like to hear about our 4 year battle with infertility". If you are going to ask something that is none of your business...I'll give the blunt but honest answer...

And when this LO gets here...my boys will be 9 1/2 and 3 1/2.

 

[ChrizJen]

I agree that the rude, invasive questions people ask are certainly not called-for. People should really learn to censor their questions. I also agree that people should never touch any part of your body without permission. That's just creepy.
But "When are you due?" and "what are you having?" ???
Seriously, I understand that it can get tiring to answer the same questions over and over, but as others have said, babies are an exciting thing for most people, and most are just trying to share that excitement with you. It's just part of being pregnant, and you don't really have to endure it for all that long...

As one other poster commented, I suppose the next time I see a pregnant woman, I'll assume that she has absolutely no interest in talking about her pregnacy. I'll keep my mouth shut, and walk the other way so as not to offend her with my excitement.

 

[kaytieeldr]

There is much more...but this 'crazy, pregnant lady' needs a nap!

I have complete faith that you're entirely sane -- but feel free to use 'stress' as your excuse to say to these unbelievably rude/thoughtless people exactly what you've written here!!!

 

[mickey&minniealways]

I am not a touch feely person. But when I was pregnant with my first my MIL actually bent over and kissed my belly and talked to it in a high pitched voice. I was so shocked I took a couple of steps backward and with eyes bugging said : Pleas don't ever do that again. I don't like it. My FIL then told me to apoligize to her. I turned to him and said " No I will not apoligize for how I feel and I am not comfortable with it. No one except my husband will touch my belly without my permission first." It put an end to that very quickly. Until the time MIL told a friend of hers to go ahead and touch to see if she could feel it kick. I looked at her and she said "what I gave her permision. My response was "But I Didn't."

Near the end of that pregnancy while at a confirmation class I was teaching a bunch of ninth graders. Our parish priest was talking to the kids about abortions. One of the girls in the group then spoke up and said she would have one if she got pregnant even up a month before it was do because it wasn't a person yet. Before father could say anthing to her I walked up to her, took her hand and put it on my stomach and told her to tell me now that my child wasn't a person. With the perfect timming he hasn't had since my son kicked her so hard the rest of the kids surounding us could see him move. She jumped a foot. I then had a line of kids asking to touch. BUT THEY ASKED. My son is almost 24 now. That girl is now the mother of 4 and one of the most doting parents I have ever met.

My pet peeve though is when people ask if it is a boy or girl and then proceed to say it doesn't matter as long as its healthy. This is MIL favorite thing to say. I want to scream and shout What If It's Not! My oldes and youngest are both special needs so this one really bothers me.

 

[sbell111]

My pet peeve though is when people ask if it is a boy or girl and then proceed to say it doesn't matter as long as its healthy. This is MIL favorite thing to say. I want to scream and shout What If It's Not! My oldes and youngest are both special needs so this one really bothers me.

I'm surprised that this one bothers you. After all, they are asking what your desire is. I know that when people asked us what sex we wanted our kids to be our answer was always that it didn't matter as long as the baby was healthy. That is to say we desired the baby to be healthy.

This does not suggest that we would not love the baby if it was not healthy any more than we would have loved a child of one sex even if we preferred to have a child of the other.