I just need to get this out...

[KitKat_Tink]

Or i will explode or implode or something...

I think i'm falling in love with my best friends boy friend.Not just like,actual love...

There is a story behind this...

About 3 weeks ago he was texting me...He was asking for relationship advice and i was pretty down about helping...He's like you'd be my first choice but i want our friendship to develop more. Which i completly understood. But it got out the fact that he likes me and i like him. Well then i had to leave for the weekend and turns out he starts dating my best friend (who is also his best friend) They didn't tell anyone but i guessed...I was ticked off at him and he knew it... Well i got over that (not him) and now i act like everythings cool. But he's still telling me how he cares about me more then anything and how he loves me more then he could anyone. And well i know i care about him a whole lot and now i'm falling in more of a love then a like.

Me and him connect on a whole different level then either one of us does with anyone else. We have a similar background (divorced parents, some other stuff i can't talk about) we both are musicians (him much better then me) And we love the same bands. We can have conversations that just go on and the hugs just feel right...

Just now i don't know what to do...It feels like my heart breaks every time i see them together...he hugs me a different way then he hugs her (closer, tighter) I'm just soo confused. And she's gonna be gone for about 2 months which will leave me here with him. I have no clue what i'm gonna do with a lonely him and me.

And i proboly sound like a pathetic little kid but quite honestly i'm a junior in high school and just uterly confuesed...help?

 

[iluvmickey4lyfe]

Talk to him. He did say that he wanted to wait until your friendship grew a little more, am I right? It seems that if you were only gone for a weekend and he started a relationship with someone else, that he might not have felt as strongly as you thought (sorry to be blunt). Whatever you do, do NOT do anything with him while his girlfriend (and you friend) is away unless they announce it as final. And please, don't take his word for it, I know about guys, they will lie and it will make you're life miserable. Also, just a suggestion to help keep your friendship with his girlfriend: if they do break up and he wants to go out with you, talk to her first. Make sure it is completely over between the two of them and that she is ok with you being with him. It may suck if she's not over him, but would you rather have him and her as your friend, or just him as a boyfriend. Remember, you're young, most high school relationships do not last that long, so think of the long run. Is being with him worth losing your friend?

Now a sophomore in college, I have a little bit of a background in boys/guys. I say that most high school relationships do not last, but some do. I have been with the same guy since sophomore year in High School, and he was a year behind me, so when I went off to college, he was still a senior in high school. Now he's graduating next week and going to the same college as me.

Keep your head high, no reason to give up, but don't be pushy. It will hurt you more in the end. You're best bet is to talk to him and see what his plans were when he started dating your friend. Love is a hard thing to combat when it comes to guys, but remember the love you have for your friend in all of this. They may break up and he might say its ok for you two to date, but don't forget her feelings too.

 

[Princess Ash]

The poster above is very wise.

I made the leap for my best friend when he told me he wanted me to jump (even though I had a boyfriend). He backed out, said he was "caught up in the moment" (haha, for four months? ok, whatever. disclaimer: we never had a physical relationship, just emotionally we were practically going out), and it ended up ruining our friendship forever and my boyfriend and i were never the same again.

DO NOT make that mistake, that's for sure. I wish every day that I had not made that "leap" and had just stayed friends, no matter how much loving him from afar hurt...it hurt 1000X worse to lose him forever.


Be careful. Relationships come and go. Friendships may last a lot longer, and turn into relationships as you get older/get "dating other people" out of your systems.


This is coming from someone who experienced this her junior year of high school as well, and is going to be a junior next year in college.

 

[iluvmickey4lyfe]

i dated one guy in 9th grade for about 3 months. for about the last month that we were going out, he didnt speak to me at all, eventually i confronted him and he said that he "didn't feel the same way about me as he did before" so that ended that relationship. Then about a month later, i started dating this guy who was initally a jerk to me (boy crush maybe). dated him for 9 months through the end of freshman year. for the last 3 months of that, he admittidly crushed on my (and his) best friend. he also admitted that he kissed her while we were going out. 1 week before the start of sophomore year, he called me and broke up with me. i found out on teh first day of school that later that day he asked the other girl out. i was happy to watch that relationship go down the drain. it ruined my friendship with the girl. she was the first one to tell me, but she didnt ask if it was ok or if i was ok, she waited a week to tell me. on the 'rebound' i dated a friend of mine who had been asking me out for years. that lasted a month and i destroyed the friendship because of it. i havent spoken to him in 3 years now. after that i started dating the guy that i'm with now. i love him with all my heart and hope to marry him within the next few years (we're 18 now, but we want to wait until we're 21 and i'm almost done with or completely done with college since im going for 4 years to get a teaching degree and he's going 2 to get an associates degree). its been hard, and i've lost all contact with the people involved in the old relationships. it sucks to be the friend that is forgotten in the relationship changes and switches, so PLEASE i'm begging you, don't forget your friend.

p.s. now you all know my dating history hehe. havent dated many guys, but i've have enough years and experience to know...

 

[KitKat_Tink]

thanks!

And i guess he didn't...even though he made it quite clear he felt and still does feel alot for me..

I'll make sure nothing happens while she's gone... She's already said when they break up i can go for him...She knew i liked him before they started dating...

I want my friendship to last with both of them...Maybe its better if i just try to lose the feelings for him...even if its hard?

 

[DramaQueen]

Just be careful.

YOu could really damage your friendship with both of them.
Dating a guy friend RARELY works out.
Of all the guys I've dated I was only really good friends with one of them before we started dating. And as much as we flirted and said we liked each other and wanted to kiss each other, when it came down to it it was jsut plain awkward and NOTHING like what either of us thought it would be. The relationship fizzled along with the friendship.

ANd I'd be careful about your girlfriend as well, even though she said it was okay for you to date him after they break up...she may feel completely different after they do break up and she might really start to hate you if you go for him.
I have expirience with that too, I used to date this guy waaay back and then we broke up and my friend said she liked him, and I was all like 'okay whatever...well we're over so you can have him'. But then once I saw them flirting and stuff I wanted to KILL her. It made me hate her and she and I have never been the same since.

SO I'm just warning you that you're on very thin ice here and I'd be very careful what I did if I were you.
I know how hard it is to have a crush on someone that you can't have but they seem to have a crush on you too (unfortunately I have expirience with that as well)

I hope everything works out for you though

 

[KitKat_Tink]

thanks...

i'm guessing this is pretty much a lose-lose for me....no matter what i do i'll proboly lose one of them