I hereby pledge not to nag my husband

[Principessa1284]

for at least 6 more days! No nagging or "reminding" him to do anything he's promised to do or "his" chores, no "reminding" him to get his homework in on time (he's SO close to that bachelors degree - a few short weeks!), no BEGGING him to do the dishes (our dishwasher is broken) because I had to work late and couldn't do them myself. And most importantly, no berating or sarcastic remarks about his long hours playing his MMORPG on the computer. The one exception, however, will be taking out the garbage on monday night - the only chore I absolutely refuse to do myself.

All of the above, no matter how gentle or sweet it comes out of my mouth, seems to work. So I have decided to experiment with a new course of action. I'm curious, more than anything else, what his reaction will be or if he'll even notice the change. He's so easy-going and oblivious I could chop off all of my hair and it'd take him at least a week to notice.

So, I tell you all this not because it's front-page news, but to hold myself accountable to actually do it - no matter how hard it may be. I started this morning and will continue until Thursday morning, on our collective day off from work.

So, cheer me on, or tell me how crazy I am!! I will give updates, more as a journal entry than anything else. Experiments need documentation, after all.

(PS - He really is a very sweet, kind man. Just very, VERY lazy and wistful, oblivious really, to what he's forgotten to take care of.)

 

[staley7580]

OMG. Are we married to the same man?? My husband is AWESOME. But sometimes.. I want to stab him in the thigh. I have actually stopped doing everything before.. Everything.. Which really is everything, because I am a stay at home mom, and I do EVERYTHING.. to see if he would notice. Nope! The garbage could pile up around him, and he wouldnt even say a thing! As long as he has food in his belly, and the kids dont stink to bad, he is totally oblivious. Back to nagging him to 1)take out the rubbish 2) change the babies once in a while 3) give some baths if I am otherwise occupied 3)whatever else I need him to do! I love him to bits.. REALLY! He is amazing, and willingly helps.. after I ask him a few times!

 

[PixieDustandEeyore]

OMG. Are we married to the same man?? My husband is AWESOME. But sometimes.. I want to stab him in the thigh. I have actually stopped doing everything before.. Everything.. Which really is everything, because I am a stay at home mom, and I do EVERYTHING.. to see if he would notice. Nope! The garbage could pile up around him, and he wouldnt even say a thing! As long as he has food in his belly, and the kids dont stink to bad, he is totally oblivious. Back to nagging him to 1)take out the rubbish 2) change the babies once in a while 3) give some baths if I am otherwise occupied 3)whatever else I need him to do! I love him to bits.. REALLY! He is amazing, and willingly helps.. after I ask him a few times!

I think I'm engaged to this guy as well.. I think someone has some explaining to do just kidding. I tried this and our condo got so dirty he asked me why I didnt ask him to clean anymore? WOW so hope it works for you!

 

[staley7580]

I think I'm engaged to this guy as well.. I think someone has some explaining to do just kidding. I tried this and our condo got so dirty he asked me why I didnt ask him to clean anymore? WOW so hope it works for you!

Thats to funny!

 

[hereyago]

OMG. My husband is AWESOME. But sometimes.. I want to stab him in the thigh.

I spit my tea out on this remark laughing!!!!!!!!!!



To the OP: get some paper plates, serve heavy food on them so he will spill it. And why would you have to remind a grown man to do his homework? If he doesn't have that motivation all ready, you can't give it to him.
As for the chores, make him pay for someone to cut the grass, if he doesn't do it.
My exdh comes and does my grass and other work for me, the reason why we aren't together? He likes to LOVE everyone.

Good luck.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

Good luck!

 

[NewDCLGuy]

Why limit the ban to six days? As you say, it doesn't work.

 

[Carly_Roach]

DH and I have a rule: saying it once is asking. Saying it twice is nagging.

Telling DH not to forget his keys or change his stinky shirt or take out the garbage doesn't work sometimes. Sometimes I have to take action by HANDING him his keys on his way out the door were, incidentally, the garbage bag is sitting and BTW, here's a fresh shirt because you stink.

He does the same thing to me, though. He'll ask, "Aren't you going to do these dishes?" My answer will depend on my mood. If I hear him filling up the sink, I may (or may not) come in and either take over washing or dry as he washes.

I think we've got our nagging down to asking, once, then settling on the occasional cold stare to nudge the other into doing what is deemed "their" chore.

Good luck with your endeavor, though!

 

[Principessa1284]

Haha - just 6 days as an experiment. Needed to put a number on it for myself. And no, i wouldn't say I'm a huge nagger. I'll ask him to do something, and if I don't remind him and he forgets, he says, "I'm sorry, you know how forgetful I am, why didn't you remind me?" and if I DO remind him, I get an annoyed, "I know I know you already told me." ....?

I doubt there will be any change, to be honest. Just like a PP's husband, the dishes could be piled up to the ceiling, with so many dirty clothes and towels that you can't see the floor and he might put a shirt or two in the laundry basket. That's about it.. doesn't bother him.

As for the homework, he DOES do it, but he ALWAYS ALWAYS waits until the last, possible minute. He could seriously win an award for procrastination. His last few classes have been online since his school didn't have the numbers to teach classroom sessions, and the work is due weekly, sundays at midnight when the week ends. So EVERY sunday he spends the WHOLE day catching up on a week's worth of homework and projects and the whole day, whether I tried to plan something for us to do or not, is totally shot. It's aggravating, especially since he has plenty of time during the week to do it.