I hate shopping from registries...

[Mike.Wazowski]

I KNOW that the bride and groom or parents really want what they register for -
and I want to respect that and buy that 'stuff'

but if I only want to spend $75 -(is that cheap by the way??) that buys like a set of sheets!! ohhh fun... or maybe mixing bowls and a measuring cup.


I have gone through their registries 3x today
and the baby one I need I can't even get since they didn't give us the 'password number' so they are getting whatever I decide to buy!

 

[DisMN]

There is no rule or law that says you have to buy from their registry. Have fun shopping for what you want to give them!!



.

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

I understand your frustrations completely. To the last wedding shower that we were invited to, we went to Target, where they were registered at. Our limit was about $25 or so, and all we could find for our price limit was a towel and a wash cloth! Shopping from a registery is a pain in the neck- You're right- Get them whatever YOU want to get them!

 

[annegal]

For $75, you could buy a nice unusual vase, or a gorgeous nice sized picture frame, a set of good knives, a set of good steak knives, a gourmet cooking pot, a fondue set, a quality pepper grinder with matching salt shaker.....

 

[Daxx]

I always like to use the registry as a "guideline". For example, if I find out that a couple has a blue kitchen and wants some bowls, I will go off the registry and find some pretty blue bowls from somewhere else. I call it "creative registry shopping". I love to find unique pieces that will compliment the colors of their home and also is something close to what they want. So, they're getting something they want (bowls) in the color they listed (blue) ... but different than what they've registered for, therefore making it a non-run of the mill gift!

I hate registries and prefer to "creative registry shop" instead! It just always seems like they get doubles of registry things.

Another one of my favorite things to do is find out what they're interested in and put together a cooking basket along w/a subscription to an appropriate magazine. For example, I might get a pretty mixing bowl, some wooden spoons, a measuring cup, measuring spoons and a subscription to Gourmet magazine. It's a year-long gift!

 

[LoraJ]

If you don't want to get something off of the registry, then get a gift card.

The last bridal shower I went to, we got the couple a spice rack that they had on their registry. Two other people decided they wanted to get them a different spice rack. So now they had 3. Of course they took the other two back to the store to exchange them, which is such a buden since they had so much other stuff to worry about.

Going off the regsitry you risk them getting duplicates. Or something they don't like at all. A gift card is just so much easier because then it can go towards something on their registry that no one got for them.

 

[Christine]

The registry is just a *suggestion* (or at least it is supposed to be). It is not a direct order that you MUST buy from. Granted, you may not want to buy place settings that are not what is on the registry, but I think anything else is okay. I think if you've got $75 to spend you can be very creative on your own.

 

[cinmell]

I love registries b/c I know I'll be buying something the person wants/needs. You can always get a gift card from the store they are registered at.

 

[SandraVB79]

What I hate even more are those people that don't register but expect you to give them money. I don't like to do that at all, because IMO, then you don't give a present, since they'll use the money just for every day life expenses.
For example, a friend got married in Scotland, so for once, I gave money, it was said to be for their kitchen. In the meanwhile, they moved, they never had that kitchen installed in their old house, and they don't have it in their new house. So, IMO, they don't have a wedding gift, just... nothing.
Another friend, I gave her an elaborate towel set (embroidered by myself) and so, every time they use them, they get remembered to their wedding.

My mom still knows what vase and what plates she got from whom at her wedding (and that after 28 years!) and still enjoys it.

 

[froglady]

I come from the stone age, where all you registered for was your china, (sometimes everyday dishes) silver (sometimes everyday stainless) and crystal.

That way, if someone WANTED to give you table settings, they would know what you had/needed and the exact pattern. I was given linens to compliment my place settings.

Towels, sheets, etc were shower gifts, given by people who ASKED what colors, sizes, etc you wanted.

We received some unusual, lovely gifts that we would never have listed, such as cystal hurricane lamps, silver serving dishes, etc. We stored them for years, but once we had a house, they've had places of honor. It's even more touching as they were given by older relatives who have passed away over the years, so I think of them everytime I see/use the gifts.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I dislike registries. One is not obligated to buy from then and I almost never do. Buy what you want and can afford.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Going off the regsitry you risk them getting duplicates.

Actually even buying off the registery does not guarantee not duplicates. On a rare occasion when I did buy from the registry and followed the procedure to get my stuff recorded properly they still got two of them. Maybe the registry was not updated from one of the purchase. Maybe we both printed a list and shopped at the same time but in different stores. Maybe the updates to the registry take a day of two to show up. Who knows, but it happened.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

We found out the hard way that a registry can bite you in the butt. When Lauri and I were getting married, we registered at the usual places, Target, Linens-n-Things.. but I come from a really small town in north west Georgia that doesn't have these stores. My hometown has an outlet mall off the interstate and thats about it. The only store we could find that Richmond and my hometown had in common was Mikasa. We were getting a lot of pressure from the extended family to register somewhere for them to pick gifts from so Lauri and I went ahead and registered there even though the majority of the stuff there wasn't our style.

Well.. unfortunately, Mikasa didn't mark something off as bought when someone picks it off the registry. We have SO MANY crystal frames, vases and bowls that we look like we own our very own Mikasa store. When my mom's friend threw a shower for Lauri back in Georgia, we had to buy a trunk to pack all of the crystal in to get it home on the airplane.

 

[mickeyfan2]

What I hate even more are those people that don't register but expect you to give them money. I don't like to do that at all, because IMO, then you don't give a present, since they'll use the money just for every day life expenses.
For example, a friend got married in Scotland, so for once, I gave money, it was said to be for their kitchen. In the meanwhile, they moved, they never had that kitchen installed in their old house, and they don't have it in their new house. So, IMO, they don't have a wedding gift, just... nothing.
Another friend, I gave her an elaborate towel set (embroidered by myself) and so, every time they use them, they get remembered to their wedding.

My mom still knows what vase and what plates she got from whom at her wedding (and that after 28 years!) and still enjoys it.

I think it is a little different in the US especially the east coast where I live. We give a gift for the bridal shower and always give money for the wedding. The bridal shower gift is to help the new couple furnish their new "home" and the wedding gift money is to help them pay for whatever they need to start their new life.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I come from the stone age, where all you registered for was your china, (sometimes everyday dishes) silver (sometimes everyday stainless) and crystal.

Me too. We didn't want silver or china so we didn't register.

DH and I were older and I already had a house. We received a lot of cash so we bought a freezer, a microwave, and a VCR. It was when VCR's and microwaves were new and quite expensive. They were luxuries to us then.

 

[lindakmonty]

$75 is not cheap.... don't feel obligated to buy from the registry either. I'm sure they'll be satisfied w/whatever you decide to get. $75 can buy a very nice gift!

 

[Todd&Copper]

I agree with the gift card idea. When buying a gift for a good friend's wedding, I lloked at her registry and all of the gifts in our price range were already purchased. My choices were basically the $350 coffee maker (too expensive) or a bunch of $5 kitchen utencils (but not enough to make the full $ amount I wanted to give). So I bought her a Bed Bath & Beyond gift card (they were registered there and Williams Sonoma, but they wanted more items at BB&B). I figured that way, they could decide what they wanted to round out the rest of the gifts they already received. Like, if they got 5 place settings, they could use the money towards a 6th, or if they got 4 wine glasses and wanted 8, they could buy them. Without knowing their preference, I thought the gift card was best.
I was forced to register (we did it at Target and Hecht's), but most relatives gave us money while friends got us things off the registry. Some people gave us things not on the registry (including one weird massage thing and some oils - I think they friend got the wedding and the shower mixed up!), and I ended up with 2 sets of candle holders when I hadn't registered for any,but I was pleased for the most part.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

I understand where you are coming from. I went to a wedding last weekend. We (my boyfriend and I) went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond (one of the places they were registered) and some of the things on there blew my mind. $689.00 for pots and pans?!? A knife set over $300. We ended up getting them two throw pillows for their bed set they wanted ($40 each!) and a blanket they wanted that was $50. I wouldn't have gotten the throw pillows if the rest of the bed set hadn't already been bought as having the two pillows and not the rest would be kind of silly unless they bought it right away. I say get whatever you want, within reason...

My boyfriend's mother said (over the phone) "Why don't you guys get them the gag gift?" I just stared at him like "Is she serious?!" He says his parents always get the wedding couple a gag gift for their wedding present and nothing else. Now I know why they weren't invited to the wedding .

 

[kelleigh1]

When hubby and I got engaged, MIL insisted that we register. We did but really just to appease her. What I didn't know was that in NJ, which is where my in-laws are from, they only give gifts for the shower and cash for the actual wedding. Had I known this, I probably wouldn't have registered or I would have definitely made some different choices when registering.

We were happy that we received the towels that we'd registered for, but the wine glasses - we really didn't need. We've been married a little over 2 years and we have a set of 12 wineglasses which we've never used. We didn't get any of the bed linens or the dinnerware that we'd registered for. But we have plenty of wine glasses.

There were a few people who bought things not on the registry, and while the majority of those few things we were pleased with because they did seem to at least get a sense of our style from the registry, there was one ugly vase that I've never taken out of the box and I honestly don't think I ever will. I'd registered for some Mikasa vases that had roses etched into the glass. They were beautiful and exactly my style. The vase we received had roses on it, but they were not etched in the glass. They actually stick out from the side of the vase - and they are painted red. Of course I didn't receive a receipt for that gift, so I couldn't even exchange it. It will eventually end up in a yard sale when we have one.

So while it's not necessary to only buy things off the registry, try to at least use it as a guide and an indication of the couples style.

 

[goodeats]

I don't mean to sound un-grateful, but the things on the registry are on the registry for a reason. We received 4 lovely waterford crystal wine glasses, but we had registered for a different pattern and brand. I tried to exchange them, but the store said the pattern had been discontinued (meaning I'll never be able to have a full set!). We have them some where, and I guess we could use them for a small dinner party, but storing them is kind of a pain. It seems like a waste of money for them to buy us something that we can't use. A gift certificate for half what they spent seems like it would be more appropriate.

Honestly, of the things purchased off (as in not on) the registry there are only one or two that we really liked enough to save. The rest I either re-gifted or in the case of one God-awful gift, gave away!

So, yes I always either buy off the registry, give a GC to one of her registry stores, or give cash.