I HATE bullies

[LisaR]

DS is 8 and weighs 58 pounds. He was skateboarding at a friend's house last weekend when nxt door neighbor came out (12 years old, over 100 pounds). From what I gathered, the kid was lying on the grass, put out his arm and asked DS to help him up. When DS took his hand, the kid pulled him to the grass and started wrestling with him. He then yanked him around by his ankle. One of DS's friend's older brother saw this and told the kid to leave my son alone. DS walked in the door and as soon as we made eye contact, he started crying his eyes out. He did have some scratches on his face and neck.

After talking to DS, it was apparent that he didn't fight back. He didn't even tell him to stop. We told DS he must defend himself. He needs to get out of that situation if it happens again. He needs to verbally YELL for the bully to stop and if he doesn't, he needs to kick, punch, bite or scratch......whatever it takes, until the kid lets go and DS can get away.

Once again, DS goes out to skateboard with friends today. Bully comes out and leaves him alone for awhile. Eventually, he goes after DS again. DS says he kicked him and the kid acknowledged that it was a good kick and let DS go. He then came back after him a few minutes later. DS didn't fight back because he didn't feel it would do any good since it didn't stop him the first time. Two older kids were there and made the bully stop. They told DS they would back him up and he didn't need to go home but DS felt it best if he came home.

I do not know this kid at all. I don't know his parents. The kid's house that they skateboard at isn't a good friend of DS but all the kids hang out there to skate. I hate to not allow DS to skateboard with his friends anymore but I don't want him to get beat up. I know his friends will defend him but they have to be paying attention when it happens. From the sounds of things, this kid only picks on the kids he knows he can take on (typical of a bully). He doesn't pick on DS's friends because they are huge compared to my son.

For the record, DS did start a martial arts class but he has only been doing it for a month so he doesn't have much experience.

DD (10 1/2) has been doing martial arts for years and she is ready to go kick the kid's butt! I have talked to some of DD's friends and they know exactly who the kid is and say he is trouble both in school and on the bus.

What would you do? Talk to the parents? Not allow DS to hang out down there? Go beat the kid up? LOL .....J/K

Lisa

 

[Pop Daddy]

I wouldnt talk to the parents there probably about as messed up as there kid. encourging your son to fight back is the only thing to do

 

[Sparx]

I wouldnt talk to the parents there probably about as messed up as there kid. encourging your son to fight back is the only thing to do

normally I would agree with teaching him to fight back if someone hits him. But this kid is 4 years younger and HALF the other kids size. He's not got a chance.

I'd speak to the parents, and if they are, as pop daddy said, "as messed up as the kid" then I would probably let your sons friend play at your house, but not the other way around.

 

[dbarker]

I would talk to the parents. And I would also let them know that I would be calling the police and pressing assault and battery charges next time. (no ifs, ands of buts). And do call the police next time. (Never make an empty threat). Also, I would let all the other skateboard friends know that they can skate at my house.

 

[Michelle2]

I would talk to the parents. And I would also let them know that I would be calling the police and pressing assault and battery charges next time. (no ifs, ands of buts). And do call the police next time. (Never make an empty threat). Also, I would let all the other skateboard friends know that they can skate at my house.

I would probably do the same thing--talk to the parents, and no matter how they respond good or bad, only let them skate at my own house. I would probably leave the cops as a last resort though, but that is me personally. I am an avoidance, non-confrontational person. Try the little things that you can control first, and then pull out the big guns (figuratively speaking of course) if it continues. Stop means STOP.

I feel for you though. I have sons too, and that would get my very angry!!

 

[LisaR]

I would talk to the parents. And I would also let them know that I would be calling the police and pressing assault and battery charges next time. (no ifs, ands of buts). And do call the police next time. (Never make an empty threat). Also, I would let all the other skateboard friends know that they can skate at my house.

The skateboarders can't skate at my house. The way our driveway is set up is not condusive to skateboarding and they would end up going down the ramps into the street. We live on a corner lot coming into the sub so there is a lot of traffic. The house they skate at is a cul-de-sac with a 3 car garage so there is a huge driveway.

DH thinks we should give it one more weekend. He is confident that the kid will back off if DS stands up to him and doesn't back down. The older kids that skateboard are really nice to the younger ones. They have told DS he just needs to yell and they will be right there to defend him. DS has a big mouth but has yet to use it in this situation. He insists he will use his voice and fight back if needed. He does not want me to talk to the kid or his parents. I am very uncertain. I am not seeing eye to eye with DH about this one.

Lisa