I had terrible parents...anyone else?

[luvmy3]

Yup, your parents were just as bad as mine. ANd just as bad as my kids think I am

 

[Tinkmom75]

The bolded does sound pretty bad. Taking the word of a random adult over your own kid?

I haven't had to take a teachers word for it cause my kids haven't had that bad of conflict, but a teacher is not a random adult. I would err on the side of the teacher.

 

[PeterPan09]

The bolded does sound pretty bad. Taking the word of a random adult over your own kid?

Teachers weren't random adults. My parents knew them. They'd had conferences with them, spoke to them on the phone and through notes back and forth. Today it would probably be email!

They also knew them from around town, the home-school organization or at church. I went to Catholic school, but I had mostly lay teachers. The principal was a Sister, but I only had Sisters as teachers for 4th and 5th grade.

 

[wvjules]

My kids are expected to do their chores. My DD would probably tell you she cleans the whole house when acutally it is usually just picking up and laundry (not all of it). By the way I made her start doing laundry because I got sick of all the clean clothes being put back in the wash after she did the little try on all kinds of outfits and then put them all in the wash after she didn't wear them. My kids are also expected to have good grades and they do. I work full time as does my DH. I fully expect my kids to share in household responsibility. They have plenty of time to play, watch TV or whatever else. My DD just turned 16. I expect her to get a job during the summer. Sorry, but if DH and I are doing all the housework then how will I have time to run them around to sports or friends houses.

My DD does daily chores as well. In no way am I saying "no chores" but what PP posted was that SHE cleaned the whole house every day including her parent's bedroom. When did she get to be a kid?

We all live in our house and we all take care of it. The onus is not on her to keep our entire house clean.

I'm with you on the laundry. DD does her own as well (for the same reasons).

 

[tinkntraining]

Reminds me of the "Meanest Mom" poem:

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids’ also.

But at least, I wasn’t alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we’d be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less–not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy’s pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?

The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn’t sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.

By the time we were teenagers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I’d had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn’t improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, “sick” like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends’ report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You’re right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did.

She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults. Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean.

Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

Although I don't agree with all of the author's points, I'm pretty glad I'm a mean mom, too.

 

[Deb in IA]

Man, looking around these days I'm convinced I had the worst parents in the world!

My parents expected me to behave in school, do my homework and get the best grades I was capable of achieving. If there was a conflict between a teacher and me, the teacher was right and I was wrong.

There was NO TV on school nights. I did homework or I read after swim practice.

My parents expected me to do chores at home: making my bed, keeping my room clean and helping out around the house WITHOUT expecting payment!

If I joined a team, my parents expected that I would go to practice, do what the Coach said and stick with it until the season was over even if I didn't like it.

If I misbehaved or didn't live up to their expectations in school or at home-I could expect to lose privileges.

My parents didn't provide alcohol or drugs for parties and I was expected not to use alcohol or drugs at other kid's parties.

When I got my license, I was occasionally allowed to borrow the car-if it was returned without a full tank of gas I didn't get to borrow it again.

When I turned 16, I was expected to get a job in the summer.

It's probably a really good thing I never had kids of my own...the way things are these days if I was anything like my parents I'd be considered abusive!

I had ALL those same expectations, with the exception of the job. But I'll do you one better - I NEVER got any praise or contratulations for any of my achievements, especially from my dad.

His philosophy was that if someone did well, or something was good, that was the way it was SUPPOSED to be. If it wasn't good, THEN he would let you know. I don't necessarily agree with this, but I think this was what made me work as hard in my life.

 

[Kim&Chris]

My parents were worse than yours

If we were in a store with my mom, we actually HAD to stay with her until she finished shopping. WTH?? She wouldn't allow us to run around like maniacs, like the other kids. She was so mean. And if we were in a public place, and we WERE caught fooling around, she always blamed our injuries on...US!!! Dang. Nowadays, it's everyone else's fault...never the kids' OR the parents' fault! Kids today are lucky. And special. Just like snowflakes.

 

[punkin]

I had the best mother. She did not care about my grades; she did not go to parent teacher conferences; she took my word over the teachers' and the administrators'. I never had to clean her room or do my own laundry. We cleaned our house together as a family, and because she was a great mom, I got to choose my own chores. When I got a job at 16, the money went mostly to buying clothes and going out. I never had a curfew. Gee, I still managed to do just fine, including getting a professional degree. I hope I am as fine a mother as mine was.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I had the best mother. She did not care about my grades; she did not go to parent teacher conferences; she took my word over the teachers' and the administrators'. I never had to clean her room or do my own laundry. We cleaned our house together as a family, and because she was a great mom, I got to choose my own chores. When I got a job at 16, the money went mostly to buying clothes and going out. I never had a curfew. Gee, I still managed to do just fine, including getting a professional degree. I hope I am as fine a mother as mine was.

Sorry, you are doomed to a life of failure...

Seriously, the only necessity to being a good parent is love. You can mix and match the rest if there is love. Without love, the best direction in the world is meaningless...

 

[punkin]

Sorry, you are doomed to a life of failure...

Seriously, the only necessity to being a good parent is love. You can mix and match the rest if there is love. Without love, the best direction in the world is meaningless...

...and that is the absolute truth! Kinda strange on a tongue in cheek thread like this one...

 

[stashbin]

That is kind of sad. How in the world did you manage the WHOLE house every day after school AND mantain good grades? Were you your parents maid? I can see helping out but the above is just a little over the top.

At the time I thought so too. But knowing now that my parents were working their butts off to make sure I HAD that house to clean puts a band-aid on my wounds.

 

[stashbin]

The bolded does sound pretty bad. Taking the word of a random adult over your own kid?

This sadly is the mentality of a lot of parents these days. When kids get the benefit of the doubt over the teacher (AKA the random adult that happens to spend 7 hours a day with Precious), the kids figure it out and then begin acting like demons at school because they know their mamas are going to take their side no matter what!

 

[kimmar067]

Man, looking around these days I'm convinced I had the worst parents in the world!

My parents expected me to behave in school, do my homework and get the best grades I was capable of achieving. If there was a conflict between a teacher and me, the teacher was right and I was wrong.

There was NO TV on school nights. I did homework or I read after swim practice.

My parents expected me to do chores at home: making my bed, keeping my room clean and helping out around the house WITHOUT expecting payment!

If I joined a team, my parents expected that I would go to practice, do what the Coach said and stick with it until the season was over even if I didn't like it.

If I misbehaved or didn't live up to their expectations in school or at home-I could expect to lose privileges.

My parents didn't provide alcohol or drugs for parties and I was expected not to use alcohol or drugs at other kid's parties.

When I got my license, I was occasionally allowed to borrow the car-if it was returned without a full tank of gas I didn't get to borrow it again.

When I turned 16, I was expected to get a job in the summer.

It's probably a really good thing I never had kids of my own...the way things are these days if I was anything like my parents I'd be considered abusive!

...we must be related....

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

Nothing irritates me more than the self-congratulatory tone of people who think that thier background is better simply because it was harder.

Many of us were raised by parents that believed us before the teachers, were merciful with concequences, allowed tv on school nights, didn't force us to complete sports seasons we hated, and didn't force thier teens to work. We turned out just fine.

Not everyone that raises children the same way, yet somehow people with very different parenting styles manage to raise happy healthy productive children that become happy, healthy, productive adults.

 

[PeterPan09]

My parents were worse than yours

If we were in a store with my mom, we actually HAD to stay with her until she finished shopping. WTH?? She wouldn't allow us to run around like maniacs, like the other kids. She was so mean. And if we were in a public place, and we WERE caught fooling around, she always blamed our injuries on...US!!! Dang. Nowadays, it's everyone else's fault...never the kids' OR the parents' fault! Kids today are lucky. And special. Just like snowflakes.

Your mom took you to the STORE???? The only time I went with her was when I needed clothes..and we got them and came home. None of that hanging around at the mall with friends either!

Did your mom have the "arm grip of death"? If I was walking that fine line of unacceptable behavior, that hand would grip my forearm and SQUEEEEZE....

My mom is 5 foot nothing, but to this day I know better than to mouth off in front of her!

But...with all that- my parents never missed a school event, a concert or a swim meet. We spent summers "down the shore" and made more than a few visits to WDW. There were drive in movies and Sunday night popcorn in front of the Wonderful World of Disney. I had plenty of toys, shiny bikes and never worried about what tomorrow held for me.

I didn't know it at the time, but the proof of their love for me was evident in every one of those "terrible" standards they set even more than the vacations and presents.

 

[Missy1961]

Teachers weren't random adults. My parents knew them. They'd had conferences with them, spoke to them on the phone and through notes back and forth. Today it would probably be email!

They also knew them from around town, the home-school organization or at church. I went to Catholic school, but I had mostly lay teachers. The principal was a Sister, but I only had Sisters as teachers for 4th and 5th grade.

Well, my parents expected a lot of me too. But I've got to say there was a time I had a conflict with a teacher. And my parents supported me--because they knew me & knew I had never had a conflict with a teacher before that. But, my dad gave the teacher a chance--he scheduled a conference with her, and she admitted she was wrong. He didn't rant or rave, just spoke calmly & fixed it for me. I tell you, my dad was my hero that day. He actually went to work late so he could talk to that teacher. And I see a lot of today's parents doing the same thing--it isn't always an automatic 'blame the teacher', even if that's what we tend to see here.

 

[PeterPan09]

Nothing irritates me more than the self-congratulatory tone of people who think that thier background is better simply because it was harder.

Many of us were raised by parents that believed us before the teachers, were merciful with concequences, allowed tv on school nights, didn't force us to complete sports seasons we hated, and didn't force thier teens to work. We turned out just fine.

Not everyone that raises children the same way, yet somehow people with very different parenting styles manage to raise happy healthy productive children that become happy, healthy, productive adults.

My background wasn't harder! It's only harder compared to what I see around me today!

I was privileged to have parents who viewed me as capable of handling responsibility, scholastic achievement and discipline.

 

[merryweather20]

I haven't had to take a teachers word for it cause my kids haven't had that bad of conflict, but a teacher is not a random adult. I would err on the side of the teacher.

A couple of brief telephone calls and a 15-20 minute teacher conference isn't enough to over-rule everything your own child says.

My parents listened to everything I said, and they knew when I just needed a sympathetic ear to fight my own battles, and when the situation was bad enough that they needed to step in.

I think its unimagineably poor parenting skills to just assume your child is lieing anytime they bring up a conflict with a teacher.

Heck this is why everyone can see Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street now.

 

[stashbin]

QUOTE=merryweather20;35558371]I think its unimagineably poor parenting skills to just assume your child is lieing anytime they bring up a conflict with a teacher.QUOTE

I think it's unimaginably poor parenting to assume your child never lies.

Getting both sides of the story is always best. However, it would be a good thing for parents to teach their children that even though an adult may be wrong, they're still an adult and the child should always be respectful....and that starts with the parents being respectful as well.

 

[jamimb]

Sorry, you are doomed to a life of failure...

Seriously, the only necessity to being a good parent is love. You can mix and match the rest if there is love. Without love, the best direction in the world is meaningless...

I will have to respectfully disagree. While I think love should most certainly be the most important thing it is by far not the only necessity to being a good parent! I've known some terrible parents who had children who turned out to be little monsters and they loved their children very much! IMO there is so much more to being a good parent than just loving your children!!! I think that it is perhaps this line of thinking that has created a generation of selfish people with entitlement issues. It is my job to love my children AND to mold them into decent human beings. The two don't neceassarily go hand in hand.