"I forgot my homework" ARRRGHHHHHH

[binny]

omgosh I am getting really angry with ds10.

he is in the gifted program at school and they are very demanding regarding personal responsibility. Quite Frankly, I agree with them, I think a 10 year old should be able to remember to turn in his homework!


Well ds is very bad about it. Already this year he has been marked down for forgetting his work. It isnt that he cant DO the work, he does it just fine, he just cannot remember to take it in!

I am SO frustrated!!!

I dont know what else I can do to make him understand that this is his job right now and he has to do his job.

I need some help PLEASE!

 

[golfgal]

No real help, just sympathy. I have one of those kids too, he does the work and "forgets" to turn it in. 5th grade was the absolute worst for him. He is in 8th grade and is getting better. Some kids just aren't able to do that at that age. We had to put everything in a trapper keeper for him so all of his work, assignments, etc went into one place. That helped some.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Routine--stuff everything in his bookbag the night before.

 

[swilphil]

I think it's great that you and his teacher are making this a priority. Since your son is obviously very bright, help him to come up with a strategy to turn in his work. Does he need a bright colored folder for assignments, a planner, a spot in the house where he keeps these assignments? If HE is the one to come up with a new system, he will be more likely to follow it.

 

[Steffi]

I feel your frustration! My DD - also 10 and in the gifted program - was having trouble remembering everything the first month of school!

I agree with having him come up with a stategy to remember things. DD has started writing herself a list of things to turn in/bring home. She writes the list on a brightly colored post-it and places the post-it on the inside flap of a folder that she uses every morning, so she can't miss it. So far, so good!

Fifth grade seems very demanding so far...I guess it's preparation for the amount of classes and heavier workload that the kids are sure to encounter in middle school. Having an organizational strategy well in place before middle school seems like a good idea!

Good luck to you & your son! This is a tough year.

 

[RobinMarie]

Perhaps a morning routine checklist? This way he can take responsibility but he has a helpful tool keep him on track.

Good luck!

 

[mum4jenn]

My dd (8) is in the gifted program too. We have had this happen last year a couple of times so now it is a routine of...get off the bus....say hello....do homework...I check and sign homework...put all school related items away i back pack... put back pack away in a certain place each day...continue on with the rest of the evening.

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with the posters who've suggested making a routine for DS to follow: you check homework for completeness and he puts it away in his backpack and then puts his backpack in a designated spot.

 

[lissawynn]

How does your son keep his materials for school. I require my students to have a thee-ring binder. I use three-hole paper for all of my handouts. I tell my students that if their work is placed in their binder, it's not going anywhere. Also, our students have student planners and are responsible for recording their homework each night. I initial my students' planners so I know they are recording the correct assignments.

ETA - I am also one of the teachers who mentors the "gifted" students. Some of these kids are SO irresponsible it's not even funny. One of the specifics for a 7th grade student is to work on her organization skill.

 

[MinnieM3]

I'm unclear on a couple of things.... does your DS have like a worksheet that he forgets to put in his backpack or a whole workbook that he forgets to bring back to school? Or does he bring it to school but forgets to turn it in and gets a zero? It must be written homework that he's forgetting, right?

Definitely set up a system/routine that's the same every night. You don't have to *do* the packing up of the homework, but I see nothing wrong with you checking things after they are supposed to be done. He's only 10.

 

[Iott Family]

Thank you Binny for posting. My 8 year old son has the same problem. He, too, is in an advanced learning classroom and constantly forgets to turn in work, which totally effects his grade. I sometimes think our super learners have a lot of brain power but little common sense about the everyday!

My only advice would be to get on a good one on one relationship with your childs teacher, let her know you are as frustrated as she most likely is and work in tandem with her to encourage him to be more organized and accountable both at home and school. You are so right when you said this is his job and if you didnt do your job your employer wouldnt pay you and his payment is on hos report card. Im not even above a little bribery. Say he remembers all his work for a semester and you will reward him with a bonus, a much wanted toy, book, video game or even a weekend getaway!

 

[golfgal]

Thank you Binny for posting. My 8 year old son has the same problem. He, too, is in an advanced learning classroom and constantly forgets to turn in work, which totally effects his grade. I sometimes think our super learners have a lot of brain power but little common sense about the everyday!

I don't even know if it is a common sense issue, my DS seems to have a lot of that. I think DS's problem is that his mind is going a million miles a minute thinking of all the possibilities of everything that mundane things like turning in homework was something he thought about 100 thoughts ago and just didn't' act on.

 

[binny]

Thank you all for the reponses. To clarify, he is doing the work and putting it in his backback and taking it to school. Its just somewhere between my car and the classroom that it magically disappears



I honestly have no idea why he does this. He KNOWS better, he wants to get good grades and he works really hard on the papers. I dont know why he gets too involved and forgets to turn them in. It just doesnt make any sense to me at all!



Tonight he came home with a 60/90 that is the worst grade he has ever gotten. I couldnt believe that he was that irresponsible!
It was only because of missing papers.

I like the idea of him writing himself a note everyday of what he has to turn in and the brightly coloured folder just for return work. Thank you! Im going to try that!


He has a great binder that he uses and I THOUGHT that would be enough but obviously it isnt. It even has a file section in it. He divides his homework into the files by subject and then does the work. He may not *like* to do his homework but he does do it every night and I check it off.


This is a tough year! Between the mock congress and the government stuff and then the advanced math.... but I guess its to prepare him. in grade 7 they can start to take the PT college courses and thats what he wants to do so he has some of the classes taken care of before he starts university. I think its too much pressure but we will see how he feels in 2 years.
I certainly wont pressure him to do it but if he feels like he can hack it then we'll talk.


Anyway, thanks again. I guess we could form a support group for exasperated parents of children who refuse to turn in their homework. LOL

 

[Marla Hellwig]

I forget which grade I was having this same problem with daughter, and once I threatened to start stapling her homework to her forehead, the problem started clearing itself up.

Guess she thiought I was serious.

 

[Sleepy]

he is in the gifted program at school and they are very demanding regarding personal responsibility. Quite Frankly, I agree with them, I think a 10 year old should be able to remember to turn in his homework!

Personal responsibility is not something demanded of only gifted children! ALL children need to be responsible for homework. They don't care if you are in the smartest class or in remedial classes....no homework means a zero for the day. Yes, unless your child has a specific learning disability, I do agree, ALL 10 year olds should be able to remember to turn in homework.

 

[shortbun]

I'd say the consequences of bad grades should drive the point home but some kids are just slower than others and some people NEVER get organized. My husband is one of the bright ones who NEVER got organized. It's ugly and his life is harder than it should be sometimes but ....come on, you all know them; the geniuses with messy desks, cars, homes and lives. Wonderful people with no organizational skills. I keep my home front organized but elsewhere, he's on his own. Good luck with your son and if it seems he's overwhelmed, you might consider simplifying his life a little.
Maybe you've made choices for him about responsibility that HE has to live up to.
Not a flame, just an observation. I'm talking about all the gifted and advanced programs -not expecting him to turn in his work. Could be his brain is racing from the rest of it.

 

[mum4jenn]

You might just need to get really firm with him and get him to realize that if his grades keep going down he will be kicked out of the advanced classes. My dh just took a weekend down to Orlando and wanted dd to go with him but he kept enticing her with the parks but I had to lay the law down with her. She has lots of tests on Fridays and she would get 0's if she went with him and I showed her how many 100's she would have to make to get that 0 back up. I told her some of the requirements for staying in Challenge and how long it would take to get acceoted back in the program. It is a favorite part of her day so I did finally convince her to stay home and go to school. I know this does not have anything to do with homework but just the fact that they have to keep their grades up and if he does not keep them up he could get kicked out ....maybe THAT would be a reason to turn in the homework.

 

[golfgal]

Personal responsibility is not something demanded of only gifted children! ALL children need to be responsible for homework. They don't care if you are in the smartest class or in remedial classes....no homework means a zero for the day. Yes, unless your child has a specific learning disability, I do agree, ALL 10 year olds should be able to remember to turn in homework.

In a perfect world, yes, all 10 year olds should be able to do this, but in real life there are kids that just can't seem to get their act together no matter what you try. Sometimes time is the only cure for that but look around and see how many ADULTS are still like this. For some people they just aren't wired to be able to remember things like this.

 

[binny]

OK an update:

This is how we handled it.
I made a BRIGHT YELLOW folder with BRIGHT RED letters saying HOMEWORK TO BE RETURNED!!
He hates it! BUT its working He returned everything that needed to be done and on time!
His punishment was... No allowance for a month, he still has to do his chores everyday and any day he doesnt he has another day added to the no allowance, the yellow folder is to be used daily for a month and if he fixes the problem then we will reconsider. Planner is to come every day and I will check what homework needed to be done.

He said " Mom, I feel like a little kid!" I said " honey, youre acting like one."


So that was progress BUT this morning was a different story...


I heard him up at 4:45 this morning getting breakfast. I went in and said " What are you doing???" he said " Im getting breakfast mom, I have a ton of homework to finish" so I was feeling relaly good about things I went to room and got ready and thought Id go and help him. Well by the time I got back he was back in bed


He is doing his work now though before school ( he had a LOT last night so he couldnt finish it all then)

One step back but I think were making overall progress.

 

[Sleepy]

I heard him up at 4:45 this morning getting breakfast. I went in and said " What are you doing???" he said " Im getting breakfast mom, I have a ton of homework to finish" so I was feeling relaly good about things I went to room and got ready and thought Id go and help him. Well by the time I got back he was back in bed

I can't say I would feel good about a child who is in classes that would require him to be up at 4:45am in order to finish homework.