I feel terriable!

[pinkdiamonds1007]

I just posted something..and here I go again. But I was reading some old posts and began to feel worse and worse. Today I was talking to my mom..she and my dad are going to WDW with my hubby, dd and I. Latley, she has been trying to give me advice about our trip, such as things to pack, ideas here and there..., telling me they will watch our dd while hubby and I go on rides, things like that. I kind of have been blowing her off..like I am listening..but I don't say much afterwards..like "oh..great"..or anything like that. I think I am hurting her feelings???? It's just that I am so excited about this trip..and have done so much research on the boards and through books and stuff..that I kind of..don't want anyone else stepping in. That sounds awful. I love them to death, they are the best. Really they are. She has never been too sensistive but latley..is very sensitive. They had originally wanted to take dd to DW, have been saying it since she was born. But we kind of (for lack of better words) "beat them to it unexpectedly this year" They are not planners, I am. And they have said they like the fact that I am planning everything....after all, it was hubby and I's vacation..we just invited them along b/c we knew they would want to see our dd at DW for the first time as well. But I feel like maybe I am taking away some of the pre excitement for them as well? Am I over thinking this? Is there something I could do or some task I could give them to make them feel more involved in the trip?? Then again..when I talk about the details..such as dining, itineraries..things like this..now..like I did last weekend, everyone thought I was crazy for having days planned 5 months in advace. I don't know what to think..any advice or ideas would be nice.
Thanks everyone!

 

[eeyoresmountainpals]

Hi pinkdiamonds1007 ~ A few words of advice...don't blow off your parents. Listen to what your mom is saying. She may not be planning the way that you do but she is planning in her own mind in her own way. The fact that she's talking about watching your dd so that you and your hubby can go on rides shows that this is something that she's thinking a lot about. And just remember that everyone plans different and reacts differently to the excitement of upcoming events. I would give anything to be able to have my mom and dad go on a family trip with us. My dad passed away when I was only 14 and my mom passed away before I was 30. Both of my husband's parents are gone also. So I always tell anyone that still has their parents to cherish every moment! Yes, I remember all too well that my parents could drive me nuts. And I know that I blew them off more than once or twice. But, boy, what I wouldn't give to have just one special trip to WDW with my husband, kids AND my parents! Live for today! And enjoy the time with your parents! You're very lucky! AND HAVE FUN!!!!

 

[noodleknitter]

She may be sensitive because you are blowing her off. Everyone likes to be a part of the group and contribute something. It sounds as though you have done it all so far in advance that no one else has an opportunity. Maybe you could take a step back and listen to your mom. They are usually pretty smart folk! I mean no sarcasm in this post. I would just hate to see you lose some special time with your mom. Many of us would give anything to be able to go one more time with our moms.

 

[pinkdiamonds1007]

You are right. *both of you* I will talk to her tonight. I don't think I am planning too far in advance though. This was still hubby and I's vaca. and this is the way I do things. I have given them all an opportunity to put in their two cents, and sometimes they do sometimes they call me crazy. *lol* Either way, I know i need to loosen up and not take it so personally when she or they try to give their opinions. I am very lucky . I guess I just needed to step back and notice that!
Thank you both.
Nicole

 

[noodleknitter]

I knew it wouldn't come out right! I def. don't think you are planning too early, but I understand how WDW works. i bet your family doesn't understand that early planning can be helpful and just plain fun too. Glad you are feeling a bit better!

 

[pinkdiamonds1007]

I knew it wouldn't come out right! I def. don't think you are planning too early, but I understand how WDW works. i bet your family doesn't understand that early planning can be helpful and just plain fun too. Glad you are feeling a bit better!

Don't worry about It i knew what you meant..thanks agian for helping. Sometimes it helps to hear what other people think.

Thanks
Nicole

 

[Anjiebaby]

Talk with your mom about it now. Compulsive Disney Planners also have the fault of wanting to be perfectionists and wanting to do it all for everyone. It is sad but true of most of us who planned a trip that we are dissapointed when our family doesn't worship us with gratitude. What I mean is if it all goes perfectly then they assume it was easy and if it doesn't go perfectly they assume you didn't plan very well. I experienced and have seen in so many trip reports the point in the trip where you feel like throwing the planning binder at your family and saying "you do it if you think you can do better".
Next time I will involve the family more so I can spread the guilt and glory around

 

[1sttimedischick]

Hey. Boy do I know how you feel. I would just ask her opinion every now and then, whether it be about a restaurant or as trivial as what SPF of sunscreen to use. I am in the same boat as the other person in that both my parents have passed away (my mom just in Sept). She loved my kids so much. She would try sooo hard, it would drive me crazy, but wouldn't I love her to see my son at WDW?!? I hope you have an amazing trip. PS...don't worry at all about planning so far ahead of time. I am more excited about my first trip to WDW than I was about my wedding!!!

 

[pinkdiamonds1007]

Talk with your mom about it now. Compulsive Disney Planners also have the fault of wanting to be perfectionists and wanting to do it all for everyone. It is sad but true of most of us who planned a trip that we are dissapointed when our family doesn't worship us with gratitude. What I mean is if it all goes perfectly then they assume it was easy and if it doesn't go perfectly they assume you didn't plan very well. I experienced and have seen in so many trip reports the point in the trip where you feel like throwing the planning binder at your family and saying "you do it if you think you can do better".
Next time I will involve the family more so I can spread the guilt and glory around

Thanks so much! You all are so great! What good ideas to work with. You all knew exactly how I was feeling, and had just the diagnosis to help fix it!
I called my mom last night and asked her too look around for a tinkerbell costume for my dd. *for the trip..* since I had already bought the princess dress' I was trying to give her something to look for. She seemed excited for that. I also, asked her if she could bring down some of our old Disney pictures from when we were kids, next time she visits so she can show dd all the pictures, that sparked her excitment as well. I think they felt more involved. (yeah!)

Thank you again so much for the supporting words..means alot. And for the well wishes on the trip. The same to you all. I have met such wonderful people on these boards. Thank you again.
Nicole

 

[pinkdiamonds1007]

Hey. Boy do I know how you feel. I would just ask her opinion every now and then, whether it be about a restaurant or as trivial as what SPF of sunscreen to use. I am in the same boat as the other person in that both my parents have passed away (my mom just in Sept). She loved my kids so much. She would try sooo hard, it would drive me crazy, but wouldn't I love her to see my son at WDW?!? I hope you have an amazing trip. PS...don't worry at all about planning so far ahead of time. I am more excited about my first trip to WDW than I was about my wedding!!!

My previous quoted post was in thanks to you as well..I wasn't sure how to quote 2 posts.

~ ~

 

[Tigger7570]

As a grandmother and also the family trip planner, here's a few ideas that may make your mother feel more involved. How about asking her to pick up inexpensive little Disney themed items whenever she's out shopping. I don't know the age of your daughter, but if she's old enough she could pick up stickers, etc., crayons, snacks stuff like that, even if they end up being duplicates of what you have bought. If she's not old enough for those things, how about travel wipes, extra pacifiers (binkies), little fans, rain ponchos, anything along those lines.