I don't know what to do.

[CharmCityGirl]

Just in case you need it:

North Central Texas Medical Foundation dba Wilson Family Planning Clinic
NCTMF-dba Wilson Family Planning Clinic
1301 Third Street, Suite 100
Wichita Falls, TX 76301
Phone: (940) 723-0755
Fax: (940) 723-4003
Hours: 8:30a-5p,Mon & Wed-Fri; 8:30a-7p,Tues

Keep your head up, it will get better!

 

[Crankyshank]

You've gotten some really great advice here, especially from Cool Beans and PAW so I really hope you take it.

I have to especially echo the don't get pregnant part. Really at this stage you need to be using 2 forms of birth control to make sure it doesn't happen.

I know life is tough and disappointing but at this point in your life boring needs to be the last thing you should be factoring in. you need some skills so you can make a decent wage before you go to school. especially one with health insurance. Check your state's unemployment office - you will probably qualify for some sort of job skill training. Check out temp agencies. Call centers. Anything. Especially utility companies. An entry level office job will get you more money than retail and will get you better resume fodder.

 

[amburger]

Just in case you need it:

North Central Texas Medical Foundation dba Wilson Family Planning Clinic
NCTMF-dba Wilson Family Planning Clinic
1301 Third Street, Suite 100
Wichita Falls, TX 76301
Phone: (940) 723-0755
Fax: (940) 723-4003
Hours: 8:30a-5p,Mon & Wed-Fri; 8:30a-7p,Tues

Keep your head up, it will get better!

Oh thank you so much! That helps a bunch. And I think thats the same place that a girl at my work was telling me about. Awesome. I had no clue where it was though. haha.


Anyways, on the topic of moving back home and going to school, if I move back in with my mom, the only school choice I have is the University of Minnesota and I have to go to school for 4 years there for what I want too do as there aren't any other schools with the program I want. But, if I stay here and wait it out, I can go to the school in Dallas that I want to go too and it's only a 15 month program. I really don't want to go to school for 4 years when I can go for less than a year and a half, ya know?

 

[shirleyb]

Anyways, on the topic of moving back home and going to school, if I move back in with my mom, the only school choice I have is the University of Minnesota and I have to go to school for 4 years there for what I want too do as there aren't any other schools with the program I want. But, if I stay here and wait it out, I can go to the school in Dallas that I want to go too and it's only a 15 month program. I really don't want to go to school for 4 years when I can go for less than a year and a half, ya know?

Amburger, as someone who makes hiring decisions - you probably won't make as much, at least initially, or be considered for the same jobs, at least initially, with a 15 mo. associate degree as you would with a 4 yr Bachelor degree. Like it or not, that's real life. There are exceptions to every rule, but in general, that's what you'll find.

What are you interested in studying?

 

[poohandwendy]

I only have a quick moment to post, but I wanted to give you my general observation from reading your last post.

You are 19 and you already feel your decisions have pushed you against a wall with not alot of choices. I can tell you feel that you can't do this, can't do that. Please know, that is simply NOT true. You are not tied to anything just yet. No marriage, no babies and probably more credit card debt than you should have...but still manageable.

DO NOT lower the bar for yourself because you think you cannot do something. You can. If it is best for you to move home, do it. Your BF will understand...if he doesn't...seriously....seriously....KNOW that he is not for you. I mean that.

One thing that is common in EVERY single healthy relationship is people who respect and support each other. Even if it means that you cannot see each other alot, even if it means waiting to be together. People who love you want the very best for you. That is always the truth.

Please remember what I mentioned before....these decisions are setting the stage for the rest of your life. Compromise yourself now and you will spend years and years trying to make up for it. For example, you COULD move home and save money for a while so that you can move out more comfortably, reduce your debt and go to whatever school you want. It can be done. Don't get caught up in 'can't'.

I cannot stress this enough.

 

[bananiem]

Oh thank you so much! That helps a bunch. And I think thats the same place that a girl at my work was telling me about. Awesome. I had no clue where it was though. haha.


Anyways, on the topic of moving back home and going to school, if I move back in with my mom, the only school choice I have is the University of Minnesota and I have to go to school for 4 years there for what I want too do as there aren't any other schools with the program I want. But, if I stay here and wait it out, I can go to the school in Dallas that I want to go too and it's only a 15 month program. I really don't want to go to school for 4 years when I can go for less than a year and a half, ya know?

What type of a degree do you get in the end? A certificate or license will not get you the same job a BA or BS will. What type of a career are you looking into? If it's true you can get the same job with the 15 months of schooling, make sure it's a reputable and good school. You don't want to waste your time and money to find out the program is a joke. The U of M is a very good school. And I can say that even though I went to a rival college.

 

[LadyyRedd]

If you ever need to know how to get a used, dried up condom out of carpet, poop off of a radiator, or wax off of anything...I'm your gal!!!

Yoooohoooooo....Tag Fairy!!!!!!!

Kimya

 

[Goofyluver]

My BF lives in Wichita Falls. She loves it. She's also on the Dis. Anyways, small world.

My advice...don't get yourself into more debt to get out of debt. If you're not happy right now, work to make yourself happy. If that means moving, then I think a 2nd job would be wise in order to save up money to move. For whatever reason, you're meant to be where you are right now.

On another note, most 18 year olds aren't out on their own. Congratulations for being so independent! Keep your head up!

 

[amburger]

Alright this will probably sound weird, but you all probably think I'm weird as it is.

Anyways, I want to go to school to become an embalmer. Now I just looked it up and school in Dallas I want to go too is called Dallas Institute of Funeral Service. I would be getting an Associate of Applied Science degree. The other nice thing about this school is that with the short program I don't really have to go through all the funeral director type classes that the 4 year program at the U of Mn makes you do. So that is a major plus for me.

Also with the moving back home front, it's hard. I just would hate to have to move back home after living on my own for only 5 months or so. It would make me feel like a failure of sorts I guess. I guess I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can make it through. I will however call my mom tomorrow and talk about things and see what she thinks. I just don't think I want too and I know it's not about want, but at the same time it's just hard. Wow growing up sucks sometimes.

Once again I really really appreciate you all taking the time to read through this and give your caring advice. It means a lot to me and seeing as I don't have too many friends to talk too about this, it's awesome that I can come here and be able to rely on people that are willing to help me out. Thanks again everyone!

 

[shirleyb]

Amburger, whether you agree with everyone's advice or not, you seem like a sweet girl and I wish you all the best in your future!

 

[Cool-Beans]

Also with the moving back home front, it's hard. I just would hate to have to move back home after living on my own for only 5 months or so. It would make me feel like a failure of sorts I guess. I guess I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can make it through. I will however call my mom tomorrow and talk about things and see what she thinks. I just don't think I want too and I know it's not about want, but at the same time it's just hard. Wow growing up sucks sometimes.

If you have a plan...something you want to work toward, like school, and you move back home to allow you to accomplish it...that's a GOOD THING!!

It is the kids who move back home because they found out life is hard and don't want to be bothered paying bills that drive me up a wall.

You decided you didn't need college and were going to go for it on your own...probably thought being poor was noble and romantic, like it is in the movies...and found out how bad it sucks. Now you realize you don't want your life to suck forever. So, you want to take a step back so that you can take a big one forward. That makes sense.

Go home and go to school. You'll be done in a few short years and can go back out on your own without having to struggle as much.

That's my advice. And, of course, don't get pregnant!

 

[manning]

Haven't read everything so this may sound goofy.

We have 6 credit cards. 5 are in the lock box not used. just got them to establish credit.

Stay with one or two cards and pay them off as they come due.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Also with the moving back home front, it's hard. I just would hate to have to move back home after living on my own for only 5 months or so. It would make me feel like a failure of sorts I guess. I guess I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can make it through. I will however call my mom tomorrow and talk about things and see what she thinks. I just don't think I want too and I know it's not about want, but at the same time it's just hard. Wow growing up sucks sometimes.

Actually for you, moving back home and going and getting a 4yr degree will be better for you now.
I know it doesn't seem that way. You will not be a failure.
Growing up doesn't suck...growing up means making the best decision FOR YOU...and that is what is hard.
You know what you need to do, but going and doing it is what is the hard part....and that lasts a lifetime, trust me.

4 years goes by in a blink of an eye. Key is too get into college ASAP!!!!! You can't do that in Wichita Falls, right?
Sooner you get in, the sooner you are done. Also you will probably make more $$$$ with a 4yr degree.

 

[m&m's mom]

I am not sure if this has been mentioned but, Dallas is a whole lot more expensive than Wichita Falls. I know WF is not the most attractive place, but it is realtively cheap.
Good luck!

 

[mamatojon]

Amburger, whether you agree with everyone's advice or not, you seem like a sweet girl and I wish you all the best in your future!

I agree! You have really shown a lot of maturity in this thread by really listening to the advice you have been given and not getting defensive. I think it is a great idea to talk it over with your mom! You can't ever have too much input on big decisions. I, too, wish you the very best.

 

[punkin]

Go back home and go to the University of Minn. That will open up a lot of doors for you later in life. If you want to be an embalmer, that's fine, but with a BA or BS, you can also change your mind.

It is not a failure to live at home and attend college. That's the normal way things are done. I moved back with my mother when I was 22 and out of college. I lived with her for the next year or so 'till I got established in a job and got married. My DH and I then continued to live in her basement apartment for another 3 years (we paid rent, but a lot less than market value) and I never once felt like a failure.

Good luck sweetie.

 

[faith]

I hope you can move back home for atleast a year. You don't need the added stress you're under right now. Hugs.

 

[poohandwendy]

I agree! You have really shown a lot of maturity in this thread by really listening to the advice you have been given and not getting defensive. I think it is a great idea to talk it over with your mom! You can't ever have too much input on big decisions. I, too, wish you the very best.

I agree too. Amber, I wish you happiness in whatever you do!

 

[DMickey28]

I am a little older than you (well I guess a little more than a little, but not much) but I know how you feel. That feeling is always there, the subject matter changes, but the feeling stays the same. It's learning how to deal with it and how to learn from it and make things better that you take with you from each period that allows you to grow.

My DBIL is in a bit of a similar position as you. He is 21 years old, working full time in the deli of a supermarket and can't seem to get things together. He is still living at home (ok so that's different) but he is working on getting back to school and learning how to get out on his own. It's so hard. Unfortunately my MIL holds him back b/c he is the baby... but I worry, reading your posts that your concern over your BF is holding you back. We can't imagine why my BIL wouldn't want to go to college and get out on his own. Live in the dorm for a year, try it out (I hated the dorm, but tried it). You meet so many new people... HOw do you know your boyfriend? Did you know him before you moved?

I ECHO EVERYONE Get rid of the credit cards. I had to use them through the last year of college (when I was living on my own as well and 23) and I am STILL paying for it. They are horrible and my management of them stunk and my credit now is suffering big time for it. We are recovering but it's a LONG LONG road. You always think that you have time... and you do, but that time sneaks up on you so fast. Suddenly I am 28, married and expecting our first child. We are in a much better financial position then ever, but we don't own a house. We build our savings, through a lot of money at the debt and live very comfortably. It's not worth what I did or bought when I was 20-23 for the price we are paying now. TRUST ME... It's recoverable and we will be there soon, but it's not a road worth taking.

I echo the DON'T get PREGNANT. We are lucky that I will be able to stay home with our baby and still maintain our obligations, just tighten our discretionary belt a bit. However, that's not always the case... then you end up working for day care and it will take longer to get ahead.

Have you thought about living at UM? I also agree that a BA or BS would take you a lot further than a certificate. Even as an embalmer, I imagine that you might want to move up from that some day and the Bachelor's would assist you as a funeral director right? And what if you don't want to do that down the road... with a Bachelor's in ANYTHING (especially business related) you can switch industries and start out at a decent working salary. If you decide after a few years that you don't want to be an embalmer anymore and you only have the certificate then were do you go? back to retail? to a restaurant? Try and think your decisions through to the future.

I got my degree in Hospitality Management. I chose it at 18 b/c it was easy and a business degree. I graduated with it at 24 and worked as a manager in a Large Restaurant chain for 8 months before I realized that was not the life I wanted. I love the industry but not enough to sacrafic the family life that I want. So I changed careers... I work in Insurance now. It makes decent money but I don't love it... it's just a job. Had I thought ahead a bit more, I would have gotten a less specified degree b/c now I have limits on me on what I can do ... Just something to think about. You don't want to specialize too much... things will change. I changed the most between 18 and 21 and then 24 to 27. Give yourself options...

Good Luck... You are not alone.. those feelings, we all have them everyday... it's just different subject matter.

 

[amburger]

HOw do you know your boyfriend? Did you know him before you moved?

I was visiting my cousin in Texas in the same town I live in now back in May. My boyfriend was one of her roommates so I met him when I came down to visit her. She had to move out due to what else, financial problems, so now it's just my boyfriend and I living here.