I don't know if I should kiss him or kill him!

[TheOtherVillainess]

Ok..now that we have a little one, we've discovered that DH's PT Cruiser just isn't large enough. If you put the stroller in the cargo area, you can't fit anything else in there. Plus..where the car seat is, you have to pull the passenger seat all the way forward if you want to sit in the front seat and not have the seat back straight up. But then, your knees are smashed up against the dashboard and if, like DH you have extremely long legs, your knees are in your nose.

SO....we'd decided we wanted to find a new (Used) car, an SUV or a minivan. After many hours of scouring both the internet and the used car section of the daily paper, DH found a 99 Jeep Grand Cherokee with every imaginable accessory you could want. Moon roof, power windows, power locks, remote entry, leather interior, butt warmers, CD player..the whole enchilada. So it has 78,000 miles on it...we don't care. DH and DFIL checked it out and it seems to be in pretty good shape. DH and I geared ourselves up to make 3 carpayments until the Cruiser was sold.

BUT..and this is where the 'kiss him or kill him?' part comes in...yesterday, DFIL calls DH. DFIL has bought the Grand Cherokee, because he knows we can't really afford to make 3 car payments. DFIL is going to make the payments until we can get the Cruiser sold and then we'll take over the payments and just pay DFIL back at our convience.

DH and I cannot believe DFIL did this. Granted..we are not unhappy about it..not really. Keeps us from having to make 3 car payments right now when we really don't have the money for it. But DH really hates the fact that now we're going to owe DFIL some money. He said that we are supposed to be mature, responsible adults who pay our own way. We aren't supposed to depend on anyone but ourselves to pay for the things we need to buy.

DFIL's reasoning on why he did it? Because we've never asked him for ANYTHING since we got married. Because we've been so self-reliant and haven't asked him to do anything for us (unlike DSIL who is constantly asking for things, which is another post entirely).

TOV

 

[cynsaun]

How very sweet of him! I'd give him a big kiss!!

 

[pjlla]

Take the "helping hand" in the same loving manner in which it was offered. It sounds like he just really wants to be helpful. Just be sure to pay back as soon as possible, lest you end up like his DSIL!! ..................P

 

[kasar]

Sounds like he did it because he WANTED to, not because it was expected of him.

Thank your lucky stars and graciously accept. Oh, yes, kiss not kill.

 

[Beauty]

I agree, what a wonderful gesture!

In the beginning of our marriage my mother helped us out quite a bit and the time has come now when she needs us and it feels wonderful being able to help her!

Give him a big hug and a big kiss!

 

[WeirdEyes]

That is soooo sweet! I'd be giving him a BIG kiss if I were you.

 

[Maleficent13]

Definitely a BIG smooch. He sounds like a guy who appreciates his DS and DDIL, and knows you appreciate him. I'm sure it made him feel great to do something like that for you; otherwise, he wouldn't have done it.

 

[FroggyinArk]

kiss him,,, and make sure he knows that you appreciate the un requesteed help and that the pay back is coming.

 

[MICKEY88]

don't kill him until you're sure he has willed the jeep to you..

just kidding.....

seriously give him a big kiss, and accept his random act of kindness done obviously out of love for his son..


part of being a mature adult is knowing when to graciously accept help fro m family when it's offered...

 

[Micca]

Your DFIL sounds like a good guy

 

[minniecarousel]

I agree with Mickey88 on this one. That, and parents sometimes do the "evening up" things even once their "kids" are grown. If he has done a lot for DH's sis - then maybe Dad wants to try to even "the score".
Enjoy the new car!

 

[disykat]

Frankly, I'd be irritated. It sounds like big daddy wants you to depend on him. Hopefully it's not a pattern and you can just graciously accept his gift. If he's anything like my FIL though, let him know you are adults and can take care of yourselves. It's hard to live in a family where Grandpa thinks he's in charge!

 

[Disney Doll]

It sounds to me like DFIL was really trying to do someting nice. You say you've never asked him for any kind of help, so maybe he justfelt like doing this. My parents have done this for my brother and I on occasion...nothing huge and extravagant, but just some nice little things every once in a while.

There's a part of me that thinks that it gives parents pleasure to be able to help their kids and see the difference they make. If your DFIL is anything like my parents are and ILs were, they were average folks who worked their butts off to become financially comfortable, so every once in a whie, doing a little something for their kids reminds them that they "made it".

Accept it as a loving gesture form DFIL.

 

[FreshTressa]

Sounds like a very nice gesture! What a sweetheart.

I wouldn't worry about it, he did it because he cares. One day when he is older and need some help, you guys will be there to help him. That is what family is all about.

And enjoy your new car!!!!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

I don't know about DH, but I feel extremely guilty accepting this help from DFIL. The DILs have done so much for us already that we haven't asked. When I was pregnant (even though I didn't ask and never would have), DMIL took me shopping for maternity clothes. They bought us a somewhat expensive crib and then bought the mattress for it. DMIL babysits for us on the days when DH and I both have to work. They have rearranged their house and finances and time to babysit for us. Believe me, I am extremely grateful for the babysitting.

I think this is really DFIL's way of 'getting in on the action'. He is a guy and I know guys think differently than chicks. DFIL wants to show love, he lets you borrow smarts (he is WAY smarter than DH or I ever could hope to be), his tools and possibly (if needed for the project), his workshop.

Kinda reminds me of when we first moved into the house and he helped DH install the sprinkler system. DH paid for the parts and the tools and hole digger thingie and the glue and everything else needed to build the sprinkler system. DFIL just helped him figure out where the pipes should go, how deep the trenches should be and helped him put it together.

TOV

 

[4greatboys]

You can still be responsible adults and pay him back after you have sold your other car. I know you want to stand on your own but sometimes parents just want to lend a helping hand.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

I know. But DH hates to borrow ANYTHING from DFIL, esp $$$, even more than I do.

But at least now we wont' have to worry about making three carpayments when we really can't afford to anyway.


I just hope we sell that Cruiser SOON! One of the stipulations of DFIL buying the car was that he got to drive it until we got rid of the Cruiser.

Anybody in the DFW area need/want an '02 PT Cruiser in red?

TOV

 

[Duchie]

Ummmm...... why do we need butt warmers in Texas?

 

[Kallison]

Just be gracious -- now that you are parents you should understand where he is coming from.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

I have NO idea,b ut the car comes with them.

TOV