I don't even know what to think.

[Kies99]

so the talk about him at the funeral was not about things he did in his life, but rather the impact he had on those around him and the lessons they learned from having him in our family and how they became a better person because of him. Stuff like that.
There was also a lot of talk about his innocence and his pure heart, because obviously he never said/did anything mean to anybody or did anything wrong in his life.

OP...first off my condolences on your loss.

That being said, I firmly believe people like your cousin who have had such an impact on other people's lives get to go to the front of the line when they get to heaven!

 

[nmmom95]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't want to get too religious in my answer, but I believe that there is always a place for the innocent in heaven. Anyone who would even consider saying that to a grieving brother is mean spirited.

 

[Princess Nancy]

Okay, I do want to get religious?

Why would she say this? In what religion has this person done something that would send them to Hell? Or whatever they believe to not be Heaven?

Here is all I can think of...

1. Did not proclaim Jesus as their Savior? How does she know? Doesn't a parent do that for a child at Baptism? Then by her admission no babies who die go to Heaven?

2. Disabled people do not go to Heaven? ***?!!


I am NOT debating beliefs. I am just asking what her belief could possibly be to bring her to this conclusion.

BTW, I believe it is not up to me to judge. Who the Heck does she think she is to play judge and jury? That to me is enough to get someone banned from Heaven!! LOL!

Ugh this woman makes me sick.

BTW, I can hold a grudge too and would be DONE with her.

 

[DawnM]

What a HORRIBLE thing to say. I am sorry.

 

[Acklander]

Usually when someone makes a comment about someone else, and where they will or won't end up in the afterlife (as if they can speak for God) I just respond with "If God is all they say he is, I'm sure he'll understand" It covers a whole bunch of ignorant comments.

 

[kellyg403]

Without a religous debate, there is one religion I am familiar with that does not believe in 'heavan' per se. Familiar doesn't mean I know everything about it or practice it so, I can't give the correct information.

With that being said, regardless of your religion, when you attend a funeral for someone who is of a different faith, keep your ignorance to yourself. Honestly, there is not a moment where I don't believe that innocents and baby's don't go to a special place. I view them as angels here on earth, regardless of the 'where they go after' and their presence in my life is like a little bit of Heaven here on Earth.

Yeah, SHUN. If she is of this particular religion, she understands the concept.

Kelly

 

[sunnyday123]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm also sorry this woman is a member of your family. I probably would have left the receiving line too, but only to have a talk with this woman. I'm not a religious person by any means, but if there is a religion that says people like him don't get to go the heaven, I would want no part of it. I though God and Jesus loved everyone.

Yea, she deserves a good old fashioned shunning. And maybe some flat tires.

 

[kellyg403]

I can think of a few (completely ignorant) reasons why that graceless, tactless, fool would say such a thing. For me, the proper retaliation would be a good ol' fashioned family wide SHUN. I can hold a grudge for a long time too.

Me too...which invariably gets me in trouble...BUT..I can always feel justified in one way or another.

Kelly

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That person is cruel and I would never associate with them again as long as I lived. Yes....shunning is the appropriate thing here.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I think I'd give the woman a piece of my mind. I don't care if it was a day later or 2 weeks later. She'd hear from me. No matter what your belief, it is inexcusable to berate and hurt someone that is grieving a loved one. I have no tolerance for that.

Then she would be shunned.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

As a person with a disabled brother, whose mental capacity is that of a child, I can truly say if any relative were to make a comment like that in my family - as my other siblings and I stood in shock, our closest of relatives would have given her the boot out of the place. She must not have been as close, or as loving of a relative as it would seem.

If I had to make a wild guess, I would think maybe she is very old time Catholic, those who believed the mentally handicapped and unbaptized babies go to Limbo? New flash for her- they have all been freed, the Catholic church eliminated Limbo about a decade or so ago.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Sad excuse for a person, Step.

My condolences on your and your family's loss. 's God speed.

 

[Disfan1]

How old is the aunt? Could she be in the early stages of dementia? We had a neighbor that was like a thrid grandma to DS until she got older & started saying really hurtful things to us. Turned out she had been having mini-strokes for a while before she died.

 

[Evil Genius]

People say amazingly stupid things at funerals. I agree what was said was cruel, but maybe you should talk to her first and explain how it sounded. Is it possible she didn't realize how it came out?

 

[LukenDC]

I suggest you speak to her about how you feel because that could help you cope with your anger or clear up any possible misunderstanding. Alternatively, you or a member of your family could speak to the clergyman who performed the service and ask for his advice.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I would have found it very hard not to punch her in the face. Squarely.

 

[Cinderella94]

What an awful person.

 

[Magpie]

Wow. I am at a loss of what to even think why this person would have said this.

I don't know of any relegion that would believe that someone like your cousin would be any different than an infant or small child dying (does she not believe they go to heaven?).

She needs to go back and sweep her own back door, because I don't think she knows as much about God and heaven as she thinks she does.

What an awful thing to say!

There are many who don't believe this.

My mother chose not to have me baptized, because she wanted me to be free to choose. My Catholic grandmother was absolutely frantic when she found out, because she knew that if I died as an unbaptized infant, I'd be shut out of heaven.

My mother doesn't know for sure, but she's fairly positive my grandmother gave me an emergency baptism in the kitchen sink, at one point, just to try and save my soul.

My grandmother did not believe that animals go to heaven. Not even pets! She was quite upset when her church started a "blessing of the pets" annual event. You have to be in a state of grace - which isn't really achievable if you don't know the difference between right and wrong. So basically anyone who is in a vegetative state or severely mentally disabled would also be shut out. Her heaven was a fairly exclusive club.

Me, I was quite upset when they got rid of Limbo. I wanted to go hang out with all the virtuous Pagans! I figured I'd get along better with them, than with women like my Grandma.

 

[happygirl]

There is nothing you can do for the person who said that, they are sadly misinformed and as wrong as they can be.

 

[Zandy595]

My mother chose not to have me baptized, because she wanted me to be free to choose. My Catholic grandmother was absolutely frantic when she found out, because she knew that if I died as an unbaptized infant, I'd be shut out of heaven.

My MIL has mentioned that she's worried and upset that DH and DS aren't baptized. I know she believes they won't go to heaven when they die. She didn't seem as worried about me. Even so, I don't think she would ever say that to anyone at a funeral.

OP, I'm sorry for your loss and can't understand why that woman would make such an awful comment.