I could do with some advice - (long)

[dis-me]

I have no idea what to do - so I hope people here can help....
Dsis 17 is behaving badly and my mother doesn't have a clue.
Dsis has recently....
1) got a tattoo
2) Skipped school AND when the school phoned my mother to tell her, dsis got there first and had a friend call back pretending to be her.
3) Not going to work at her saturday job on the weekends.
4) telling my mother she's at a religious youth group (my family arent religious but a lot of her friends are involved in the group) when actually, 50% of the time she's out drinking or with her boyfriend (should add, my mother doesn't mind her drinking, its reasonably standard here in the UK, nor would she mind she was with her boyfriend). However, she is not supposed to go out every night so she lies about where she is so my mother doesn't stop her going out. Frustratingly my mother is continuously talking about how wonderful it is that dsis is spending her time so wisely!

I know these things through my dsis 13 (they share a room so she picks up on everything that's really going on). Dsis 13 confided in me because she is getting frustrated seeing dsis 17 do basically whatever she wants with no reprecussions.
Dsis 13 doesn't want to tell DM what is going on, she is worried dsis17 will be angry with her.
I, on the other hand am desperate to tell her. For one thing I love my sister and don't want to see her do anything stupid and secondly I am getting SICK of hearing how wonderful dsis is knowing what she is really up to. This weekend I had my mother mad at me because, sick of her antics, I didn't want to pick Dsis up from work. As it turns out she wasn't at work anyway.

I literally have no idea what to do now, but would appreciate the advice of anyone here.

Thanks

 

[diznygirl]

I subscribe to the theory that anyone can do whatever they want - but they cannot involve me as an accessory. So don't cover for her.

Next time your mom needs info, give it to her. Just the facts, ma'am. Your sis is not doing anything your mom wouldn't allow anyway, it just gets you off the hook covering for her all the time.

Good luck.

 

[minkydog]

Since your sister is still a minor and still dependent on your parents, I think I would tell your mother. There are several safety issues here and at-risk behaviors(lying, skipping school, drinking). The reason your 13yo sister told you all this is that she's afraid. She's hoping you will tell.

Now, as the mom of a once rebellious 17yo I find it hard to believe that your mother doens't have a clue because I know with my DS, the signs were everywhere. Don't be surprised if your mother refuses to believe you--she's probably in denial. Still, you can't sit back and do nothing. Sis has set herself a destructive path and I foresee this ending badly if no one steps in.