I Am Totally Devastated And In Pieces
- Thread starter DisneyAli
- Start date
PoohBears#1fan
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2002
- Messages
- 730
Alison, I'm so sorry you're going through this dreadful time.
Will be thinking of you.
Will be thinking of you.
Alison,
Your post was heart rending.I guess we all think it won't happen to us and can't be prepared for it if it does.
I can't add any advice just to say again if you want to safely let off steam on here,we'll be there
Your post was heart rending.I guess we all think it won't happen to us and can't be prepared for it if it does.
I can't add any advice just to say again if you want to safely let off steam on here,we'll be there
steven1105
Disney Amatuer
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2003
- Messages
- 131
So sorry Alison,
I dont have much advice on the subject other than to hold your head high and dont let him think he has beat you. He is 100% in the wrong and he should be ashamed of what he has done. From what your saying in your post it does sound like he hasnt spent alot of time with this woman and so you will have to be prepared for him wanting to comeback. Only you can decide if you want him back. I dont understand why some men cheat .
Thinking about you
Steven and Ashleigh
I dont have much advice on the subject other than to hold your head high and dont let him think he has beat you. He is 100% in the wrong and he should be ashamed of what he has done. From what your saying in your post it does sound like he hasnt spent alot of time with this woman and so you will have to be prepared for him wanting to comeback. Only you can decide if you want him back. I dont understand why some men cheat .
Thinking about you
Steven and Ashleigh
jana
Diva
- Joined
- Aug 29, 1999
- Messages
- 668
Oh honey I am so sorry for you. I have been threw something similar and trust me when I say protect yourself. I know you still love him but think with your head not your heart ( I know VERY hard to do). Think about yourself and your future.
I thought it was the end of the world when it happened to me but now I know I'm better off and have a much better man loving me. It will get better.
We are all here for you whenever you need us. It's the great thing about this place.
I thought it was the end of the world when it happened to me but now I know I'm better off and have a much better man loving me. It will get better.
We are all here for you whenever you need us. It's the great thing about this place.
Disney owl
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2001
- Messages
- 3,920
Alison so sorry at your news
just to say remember your family and friends are there for you & will support you.
We' ve had a similar situation in our family when just before Christmas when my sister in law announced that she'd had an affair and our beautiful new nephew Wasn't my brother in laws!
Stay stong YOU'VE done nothing wrong.
Take care
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
just to say remember your family and friends are there for you & will support you.
We' ve had a similar situation in our family when just before Christmas when my sister in law announced that she'd had an affair and our beautiful new nephew Wasn't my brother in laws!
Stay stong YOU'VE done nothing wrong.
Take care
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
Thank you all for your support. I got some legal advice yesterday and without going into too much details (just in case he has a nosey around my marked favourites, pm me if you want to know more) he could possibly lose everthing if he pushes for house sale and come away with nothing.......i let him know as much this morning but not too many details just some food for thought.
I was due to return to work today but after seeing him when he popped home from the ship this morning as he has done thurs and friday and phoned every day??????!!!!! after putting on a brave face after bawling my eyes out to him the past two mornings i cracked up big time and it ended up with mum and dad rushing me to the emergency doctors, he has given me something to help get some sleep and signed me off for 10 days but i have to see him again on Wednesday as he is concernd about my well being.
His lordship is either playing a very sick game with my mind and emotions or he is too damn stubborn to back track. He has only been with woman taking into account time on ship less than two months, says he does still love me and is ashamed of what he has done. He expected me to be upset but never expected me to be in the mess i am. Says that he is happy not to sell the house as it will give him a roof over his head if it all falls flat. Legal point i cannot stop him moving back to the matrimonial home and he cant force me out either. I asked him when he was moving out and he said he would have to ask her when he could move in, apparantely so he says she first said a few weeks ago that he could move in anytime but then said he had to wait until the house was sold!!!!!! alarm bells GOLD DIGGER i ask... knowing what he has to lose if the house goes i think he has enough sense not to rush selling the house.
Information gathered by various people have revealed she has been married twice, he has only said once, and also she is not a very well liked person with another person not knowing the reason behind my friends questions said she is a really horrible woman, dont know if that makes me feel better or not.
He has phoned and sat down to talk to me so much these past days than he ever has done. Although i am a mess he knows that the door is shut for now, even though i gave him a clean slate chance on Wednesday.
The biggest laugh is that on Tues/weds they were both saying they were totally in love and he was adamant that he was making the right choice, but last night i asked him to put aside all feeling of lust for this woman etc and said are you 100% sure of what you are doing, reply "no i am not".
At the end of the day knowing how stubborn he is when he has made a decision i know he will be moving out to be with her. Taking advice on board from replies here i am playing it carefully, just enough emotion but not pleading him to stay, but letting him know that i am here if you get what i mean. Also planting subtle questions in his mind that can have damaging answers, ie what type of woman are you getting involved with who can deliberatley set out to destroy another persons marriage etc.
Well once again thanks for listening and all your messages of support, it helps enormously to sit and put it into words and to read the answers,adivce and experiences of other people. Thanks alison.
I was due to return to work today but after seeing him when he popped home from the ship this morning as he has done thurs and friday and phoned every day??????!!!!! after putting on a brave face after bawling my eyes out to him the past two mornings i cracked up big time and it ended up with mum and dad rushing me to the emergency doctors, he has given me something to help get some sleep and signed me off for 10 days but i have to see him again on Wednesday as he is concernd about my well being.
His lordship is either playing a very sick game with my mind and emotions or he is too damn stubborn to back track. He has only been with woman taking into account time on ship less than two months, says he does still love me and is ashamed of what he has done. He expected me to be upset but never expected me to be in the mess i am. Says that he is happy not to sell the house as it will give him a roof over his head if it all falls flat. Legal point i cannot stop him moving back to the matrimonial home and he cant force me out either. I asked him when he was moving out and he said he would have to ask her when he could move in, apparantely so he says she first said a few weeks ago that he could move in anytime but then said he had to wait until the house was sold!!!!!! alarm bells GOLD DIGGER i ask... knowing what he has to lose if the house goes i think he has enough sense not to rush selling the house.
Information gathered by various people have revealed she has been married twice, he has only said once, and also she is not a very well liked person with another person not knowing the reason behind my friends questions said she is a really horrible woman, dont know if that makes me feel better or not.
He has phoned and sat down to talk to me so much these past days than he ever has done. Although i am a mess he knows that the door is shut for now, even though i gave him a clean slate chance on Wednesday.
The biggest laugh is that on Tues/weds they were both saying they were totally in love and he was adamant that he was making the right choice, but last night i asked him to put aside all feeling of lust for this woman etc and said are you 100% sure of what you are doing, reply "no i am not".
At the end of the day knowing how stubborn he is when he has made a decision i know he will be moving out to be with her. Taking advice on board from replies here i am playing it carefully, just enough emotion but not pleading him to stay, but letting him know that i am here if you get what i mean. Also planting subtle questions in his mind that can have damaging answers, ie what type of woman are you getting involved with who can deliberatley set out to destroy another persons marriage etc.
Well once again thanks for listening and all your messages of support, it helps enormously to sit and put it into words and to read the answers,adivce and experiences of other people. Thanks alison.
Disney owl
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2001
- Messages
- 3,920
Take care
Mike Jones
<font color=993300>....nothing clever to say... ju
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2003
- Messages
- 1,372
Alison - I am so sorry to read your post. Thinking of you and hope the pain eases soon.Mike
Some more hugs for you Alison.
Just a suggestion - maybe you could try to talk to someone who is impartial to help you think about whether you want him back? (Just thinking at this stage - not making any decisions - it's too early)
All your friends and family will be telling you he's a worthless creep - but you clearly still love him. In the end, it has to be your decision whether to try to win him back (using all your guile and subtlety of course!), wait for him, or kick him out and take him to the cleaners. No-one else can really understand what makes you tick.
Another suggestion - try hard not to use prescription medicines for too long. You need all your wits about you.
You will feel differently soon. Probably not better, but differently, and able to put on an outwardly brave face, and function more normally. Just don't be too hard on yourself right now.
You sound like a strong person who will survive and become stronger.
Lots of pixie dust
Edie xx
Just a suggestion - maybe you could try to talk to someone who is impartial to help you think about whether you want him back? (Just thinking at this stage - not making any decisions - it's too early)
All your friends and family will be telling you he's a worthless creep - but you clearly still love him. In the end, it has to be your decision whether to try to win him back (using all your guile and subtlety of course!), wait for him, or kick him out and take him to the cleaners. No-one else can really understand what makes you tick.
Another suggestion - try hard not to use prescription medicines for too long. You need all your wits about you.
You will feel differently soon. Probably not better, but differently, and able to put on an outwardly brave face, and function more normally. Just don't be too hard on yourself right now.
You sound like a strong person who will survive and become stronger.
Lots of pixie dust
Edie xx
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