I am such an idiot... can I still hide this??

[samshane]

So this whole Disney trip from 2/2 - 2/11 was supposed to be a surprise to the kids along with their dad coming home for his 2 week R&R). Earlier today I posted on Facebook that Dh was coming home this month (hey - I was excited it's been a LONG time).

Fast forward to tonight... I am on FB posting about how one of the zhu zhus totally died (he is dead - no batteries or anything will help and we have tried everything - but that isn't my biggest concern). As I am posting, my 10yr old DD comes up behind me - I didn't even see her and I wasn't even thinking and she says,

"What do you mean dad is coming home this month?"

I nearly died as she had read my previous status update... I said - Oh, uh in the next TWO months. Total lie - and a bad one at that. I didn't even realize that was still showing on my FB page. She looked at me funny - and said "Okay" and walked away. But it was this funny "I know you are lying" look.

Now - they know Dh and I had talked about Disney before he left. And that when he came back for his R&R there was a possibility we might go. But I had been telling them I didn't think it would happen cause it was too expensive.

So - do I ignore this? Do I just tell them and then let them help me with planning and such. We could flip this and start a countdown chain and all that fun stuff that people do when the whole family knows they are going.

Man - I knew this was going to happen... I managed to keep it hidden since October (though I always suspected my 9 and 10 yr old DDs had an idea - my 7 yr old DS is so in the dark). But my 10yr old DD is NOT and idiot and I know she knows... and it is just a matter of time before she tells the others.

So - what do i do at this point? Any advice for an idiot like me (Other than to stay away from posting things you don't want your kids to know on FB)?

 

[Dee77]

Hmmm. I would advise to say to your oldest that you thought he said he would be home next month but that you mis-read a message from him, do you think she would buy that? If not then I would start a countdown and all the fun that would go along with planning on seeing him but to try and keep the trip a secret. Good luck!

 

[mousebymarriage]

I know I'm going to get flamed for this but, STICK TO THE LIE!!!!!

Yeah, I know that lying is wrong and you shouldn't lie to your kids because that teaches them that lying is o.k., blah, blah , blah.
It's a little lie and it is not done maliciously so I would definately stick to it. However, I wouldn't bring it up unless your kids do. If they do just say it was either a typo or that it actually said in a month or so whatever.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I disagree. Something as important as daddy coming home should not be lied about. Secrects are good... but when you have to tell lies to cover them, nope.

Own up and let them be a part of the planning. That can be just as much fun.

 

[brightspark]

Well done on keeping the secret so well for so long. Is it possible that you could explain to your oldest dd why you were odd about it - and explain that you want to keep daddy coming home a big suprise for the others? Keep it as a special secret between the 2 of you? As you have implied that WDW won't be happening, I wouldn't bring that up at all - unless someone mentions it.

 

[GoofyFairie]

I would talk just to the oldest and get her input. She may be very excited to be in on the secret and surprises. Have an awesome trip!

 

[Microcell]

Yeah.. it may insult her intelligence to keep up the lie.. maybe tell her that he is coming home but you want her to help you keep it a surprise for the others..

Unless directly asked about Disney I wouldn't say anything about it. If she does ask.. then I would lie! I would say, "Sorry, we just cannot afford it, but we are hoping for 2011."

My Dh and I planned to tell the kids about our upcoming trip (note in my countdown the number of days and subtract 200... totally lying to my kids too! ) on Christmas and his bosses are far to evil to be sure he can get the time off in Feb. So we have made up a trip to my hometown of Detroit so the kids can get homework/projects done ahead if needed. We were just talking today about DS7 who does not like being "lied" to so we hope he isn't upset when we tell him at the airport! In our case though I would rather be judged for a lie about going to Detroit then not going than taking Disney away from them.

Oh and don't feel bad for announcing it on FB.. I stupidly told my best friend and mother in law! MIL was awesome yesterday when we saw her and privately asked if she could talk to the kids about it (she knew about the Christmas Surprise), so I told her about the new plan.. but my best friend's mom has cancer and is thinking about planning a Disney trip and was contemplating meeting up with us if she can go in Feb.. so bf asks me about our dates... on FB!!!! Luckily it was before befriending my DD so she has no clue still!

 

[loveysbydesign]

I'd say you just found out he was coming home early and you wanted it to be a surprise...but then own up to it. BUT keep the trip a secret!!!

 

[donaldsgirl]

I would talk just to the oldest and get her input. She may be very excited to be in on the secret and surprises. Have an awesome trip!

I agree. Ask your 10 yr old what she thinks is going on and go from there. If she is off track then leave her off track , if not then tell her what is going on. Hopefully she will be able to keep a secret from the other 2. Either way it is AWESOME that your husband is coming home. Deployments are rough.

You do know that Disney is doing the military discount/salute thing again this year right? You can also get up to 4 maybe 5 free passes to Sea World or Busch Gardens as long as you have your military ID. It is a pretty cool thing they do for our military. Enjoy your trip!!!

 

[courtneylauren]

Tell the kids your husband is coming home, but keep WDW a surprise.

 

[wdwfan16]

If it is certain that he his coming home, then I would tell the kids the truth.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I take it like me you are a military spouse. Most of the time things are set in stone when it comes to taking leave but not always. You could tell your daughter that your DH is planning to come home sooner than he thought but you won't know for sure until a few days beforehand. It's not a complete lie, but it can still end up being a surprise.

As for the WDW trip. Keep it a complete surprise. We told our DS6 that we didn't know when we'd be able to go back to WDW. We were sounding like broken records because he asked constantly or moaned, "I'm NEVER going back to WDW!!" Around Thanksgiving we told him we were going to go see my parents in early December. We didn't say where my parents were. So about 1/2 way into our drive from GA to FL we stopped for bathroom breaks, lunch and surprised DS then. He was complaining about how long it was going to take to get there and I told him we had a present that might make him enjoy the trip more. I had ordered Mickey ears for him and his sister ahead of time and wrapped them. He was so puzzled at first. Thought it was the dumbest thing until we told him we weren't going to go see my parents at their house but at Mickey's house. Then he completely lost it and went nuts. After that, I think for awhile we will keep surprising the kids with Disney trips rather than telling them ahead of time.

Hope it all goes smoothly!!

 

[marlynnp]

Tell her he is coming home this month and apologize for the lie - explain that you were planning to surprise them and she caught you off guard.

Ask her to keep it a secret. If Disney is mentioned just say you and daddy will talk about it when he getrs home - not a lie, lol!

 

[samshane]

Thanks for all the input... I told DH what happened and it turns out he wants to tell them anyway. He said he was doing the secret thing because of me - go figure. He isn't really into surprises and says he wants the kids to be able to prepare instead of having too much going on all at once. It is only a month away as it is.

I mean, he was fine with how I was handling everything - LOL! But he wants to be able to talk to the kids about coming back and all that is going on and how excited he is. And he felt he couldn't talk to them because this was all a surprise. I guess I never really considered his point of view....

So in the end - after consulting with him, I guess it wasn't a bad thing that this happened. We still have some surprises in there... like their grandparents they haven't seen in about 4 yrs will be joining us for part of the trip (they don't know that part).

Thanks again for all the advice!

 

[pweyl36]

Tell her he is coming home this month and apologize for the lie - explain that you were planning to surprise them and she caught you off guard.

Ask her to keep it a secret. If Disney is mentioned just say you and daddy will talk about it when he getrs home - not a lie, lol!

It wasnt a lie, she just didnt want the kids to know yet. Also you should tell your dd that its rude to read over somebodys shoulder, my dd does this to me from time to time and still cant get it

 

[soonerfan2008]

Can you and your DH tell the kids together during a phone call or online chat? Then, you both get to surprise them, and he gets to share their reaction. AND THEN, you guys get to talk about and plan it for a month!

And from one military spouse to another- hang in there! Deployments are rough.