I am so furious at my sister!

[always quiet]

Today is my DD's and DH's birthday. My sister's daughter was having a belated birthday party for her youngest daughter today and we were invited. I had told my sister that we wouldn't be going. It was their birthdays and whatever they wanted to do, we would do. Well, she had promised my daughter that she would be over this evening for cake and give her her gift. We don't have a large family so family members coming over for cake is a big deal to my kids. She is obviously mad that we didn't go to her grand daughters party and not only has she not come over, she hasn't even called! My daughter is crushed! She didn't even eat a whole piece of cake...she went outside to sit on the front porch to "look" for someone! My heart is breaking for her.....

 

[zurgswife]

 

[CamColt]

How oh sad! Yes, adults have their issues and may tick each other off from time to time(not that you did anything wrong), but thats no reason to take it out on the kid and ruin her day. What a disappointment.
Hopefully she has a logical explaination of why she couldnt make it, that will make your DD feel a little better. Save her some cake for when shes in a better mood.

 

[tigercat]

Hopefully she had a really good explaination for not showing up. I always figure you can say and do things to another adult but you don't hurt or disappoint a child.
tigercat

 

[aahmom1]

How dare sh be mad at you for not going to somebody else's birthday party on your daughter's bithday!! I hope you call her and tell her what's what!! Your poor baby, I feel so bad for her.

What is your daughter's name? How old is she today?

 

[cassie]

I can't understand how she could be mad at you. If today is your DD & DH's birthday, well of course you want to celebrate their day today. Your sister's grandchild is a belated party...so that is her problem. But, I don't think she should have said she would be over and not show up. Me thinks this is going to crop up every year now with the birthdays so close. Your family is small so maybe if you all do get together for the events you could work out one special day for everyone, and have your own day for DD & DH.

 

[BCVOwner2002]

Sorry to hear you are having problems with your sister. This is one of the reasons I no longer speak with mine. Always remember your family comes first! Annmarie

 

[house_of_princesses]

Before I get angry, I find out what happened. There could very well be an acceptable reason. What if she had a flat on the way over and forgot her cell phone?

If no acceptable reason, I very calmly, but succinctly state the situation from my end. If the person is worth their salt, they'll feel awful enough on their own, without my adding insult to injury, and rectify the problem. It they're not worth their salt. Politely hang up and know that person is no longer trustworthy and distance yourself and family without vengance.

Not worth your spent emotions!! Hug your dd, smile for her, and ask her, "What would you like to do now?" Love heals all.

Today is my 40th. It was a terrible day. But I smiled and looked at my 4 dd's and said, "What shall we do today?" They all hugged me.

Happy Birthday to your dh and dd!!

 

[always quiet]

You can tell my the time I'm posting this (1:15 am!) that this whole thing is still eating me up! My daughter, who turned 9 today...oops....yesterday!.....asked me as I was tucking her in if I thought my sister would come tomorrow. I told her we'd have to see. I'm sure as heck not going to sit around the house all day waiting!

cassie, you said this could come up again since the family is small. My great-nieces birthday is actually over a month ago! She turned 4. Personally, I think they should of scheduled the party on another date...knowing the date was already someone's elses birthday.

I only have one sister left. My oldest sister died 3 years ago. My DH's sister and only blood relative he knows of lives in Florida. My mom died in 97 and my DH was raised in foster homes. See what I mean about not having a large extended family?

 

[olena]

I'm sorry, AQ. I hope there's a good reason for all this.

I wouldn't sit around the house today. I'd go out and make it special....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Is your sis always doing this kind of thing? Mine does. It sucks to put it mildly. Have your dd call her tomorrow. It is good to empower them to and to let them know that they can call and get it resolved for themselves. (Their feelings)
As a mom there is nothing you could say to me to fix it, unless of course it was legit BUT even so decent folk would call. Sorry if I sound bitter but this is a big bone of contention for me recently with my sis.
{{{HUGS}}} and Happy 9th Birthday to your dd!

 

[shortbun]

It sounds awful. Also sounds like everyone in your family is
fighting for power over this. Sorry your dauther got caught in the crossfire
explain that your sister was very busy today and over committed herself and that sometimes grownups do that. explain that your family didn't make it to the other party either, it's just one of those things. Let go of this resentment or it will destroy your family. Call your sister and plan a get together with just her so you can all have some quality time - understand that her grandaughter means to her what your daughter means to you and bury the hatchet. life is too short for these kind of small irrritants dictating so much anamosity. just my honest opinion
and a good lesson for your daughter to watch you fix things instead of stewing. allowing one's expectations to become their dissapointments is a great thing to avoid and something children
need to hear about at a young age.

 

[house_of_princesses]

a good lesson for your daughter to watch you fix things instead of stewing.

What a blessing to give your daughter! Stewing hurts you, not your sis.... Hope today looks brighter for you and dd!!