I am so frustrated right now... (vent long)

[DMickey28]

To make a long story short, I have been staying with my bf for the last few weeks all the time. I have a lot of stuff here and having been spending most of my days off lounging around here than at home. (He is usually at work when I am off) He gave me keys a few weeks ago and actually asked me this weekend to move in with him. We planned on moving in this summer together!

I am frustrated because I worked Sunday night and he went out with his friends to a show Monday night, was so tired tuesday night he was out cold at 9:30 after we had dinner at 7 at the outback than tonight he bowls with his roomate on a league at 8:30. So I had today off, had to drive an hour on my day off bothways to have a "discussion" with my boss about my job. It frustrated me, but he also got an offer letter for a new job today so I didn't want to bring him down with my day..... I cooked anice dinner that was ready within five minutes of him getting home. HE ate two helpings and then played Nascar and NBA line until he left for bowling. I was frustrated and he knew, I was washing dishes when he came in to ask me what it wrong. He knows me so well, he knew I was lying when I said nothign. So he goes to walk out the door without a goodbye or anything... I call him back, tell him what was bothering me (that I wanted to talk and felt bad about making a nice dinner and then him playing video games all night) He got defensive, which I knew would happen, stating that we see each other everyday! Yeah, in our sleep.... so he left all frustrated, shaking his head in his stubborn way saying he doesn't understand at all...

I should have said I wanted to talk to him... but I guess I wanted him to read my mind. I know on other days that wouldn't ahve bothered me at all, just today. Now I don't know if he'll relaxe when he comes home or if he will still be mad at me.... (frustrated is his word) All my stuff is in my car as a adrenaline reaction but I don't want to run home because if we really lived together I couldn't and we would need to work it out.... I just wish he didn't get so defensive and would say something like " Gee I am sorry I didn't now you wanted to talk. We can talk when I get home..." but he gets all defensive instead about us being together everyday and why a few video games is a big deal. See why I pick and choose my battles, but he drags it out of me....

Sorry so long. Are men just like this? Or is this something bigger? Keep in mind this happens very rarely and unless I have a temper tantrum and say something nasty (happened once) that hurst his feelings he usually comes back all cuddly and sorry......

 

[DMickey28]

i know it's long I am sorry

 

[JohnTBap]

I know that DH and I both need a little mindless vegetation time. The key is to synchronize those times. {{{HUGS}}} for you.

 

[Serena]

First of all, you can't expect him to read your mind, and you can't read his.

It sounds like you two need to have a long talk about what each of you expects from this living together situation. Write it down first, it'll help you think it through.

Goodluck.

 

[vald1977]

Hi DMickey28,
To answer your question "are men just like this?" I have to say at least mine is. He would seriously see nothing wrong with playing three hours of video games on his only day off. It sounds like you were having a bad day to begin with and just needed some tlc but you did the thing where you expected him to read your mind (oh believe me I am guilty of it too) instead of telling him that. Whatever you do, don't leave! That won't help anything. When he comes home, make the first move and say I'm sorry for snapping at you. It sounds like a small tiff and not worth a huge argument. Hopefully, you guys can talk about the spending time together issue in a constructive way. Good luck to you. Hope it all works out.

 

[DMickey28]

Thank you to those who took the time to read my long post and give me your thoughts. I haven't left and I will leave him a note to let him know I am sorry and that I love him!

Besides I can't move from the computer chair because there is a little mouse running around here!