I am so annoyed with my dog and my dh

[angel659]

Hi

I will start at the beginning.

Last night I went shopping after picking Casey up from school with the kids. I came in and took in the frozen and fridge food and thought Bruce could take in the cupboard shopping when he gets in, so this would give me a good head start to cook dinner.

I cook everyone a dinner and Bruce knows that I am going over my friends tonight to chat with her about her finances. I start to try and print off some information and budget sheets. I start to have problems there. Finally Bruce fixed it after taking the kids to bed, which he does everynight, as its now a routine for them.

I left home at 8pm and said to Bruce I wont be too long, but can you get the shopping in. He huffed and he puffed about him not getting to play on his Xbox360 in a while and by the time he finishes his chores he will only have an hour. (He goes on live with his friends). I said "well if you had another screen then you can play on it, I dont see why you should take up the main TV" I am then left with nothing. I used to play on my laptop in the living room, but recently my laptop will not go wireless I cant quite remember the exact phrase he used,but apparently one minute I dont mind him playing on there and taking up the TV and the next I moan when he does go on there. TBH why should I let him take the main TV up most nights. Am I being unreasonable????

So I left with a bitter sour taste in my mouth thinking cheeky husband and a few other words went through my mind I decided to leave my friends at 11:45 so he would have at least 2 to 2 1/2 hours on there.

I came in and saw the kitchen side a mess and Bruce pulled up the one seater chair and was lying across it playing the Xbox. I was mad. I said did you get the shopping in. "No can I finish this game" he replied. Looking at the clock it was 12:10 I moaned a little saying I thought he would of got the shopping out first. He stood up and said "right I am off" we had a little ding dong cant remember the exact words that was said. Basically Bruce felt that playing first didnt matter and he said I came off the game. I said I didnt ask you to, but it would of been nice to of came in and the shopping been in. There were a few things I wanted to use from the shopping. Bruce took the shopping in and I went to bed sulking I bet I sound like an eviel wife from hell. Honest I am not. Recently I have been off sick from work since Sunday and even then I have been doing some house work, so a little help, which admittedly he does help out alot but when you need it and they dont help is very frustrating.

I wake up in the morning and I see the kitchen side a complete mess with last nights dinner plates. The dishwasher full of clean dishes. (Which I loaded up during the day and put the dishwasher on whilst I was cooking). I was running late this morning so I never had time to do this otherwise Casey would be late from school.

I took Casey to school and dropped the boys off to playschool. I come home 40 mins later. To notice Rox the dog had pulled Bruces dinner plate, which had a little curry left and ate it. In the process of doing this she broke my plate. Now this is why I am fuming. I bought two lovely Mickey Mouse dinner plates from DLRP. They were last ones and I bought them. I thought great one for me and one for Bruce. I see lying on the floor a smashed Mickey Mouse dinner plate I was so upset and could feel the tears building up. I chucked the dog out whilst I cleaned the plate up off of the floor, in case she cut her paws on it. I was devasted. I am so mad now with both of them. I have cleaned it all up and put everything in the dishwasher.

Sorry for the long and windy rant, but I really needed to blow off some steam. Hope I didint look like an eviel wife from hell in the process.

 

[Minniespal]

Michelle sending you some What a time you have had. Sometimes men are such little boys Shame about your Mickey plate.

 

[Chilly]

MEN!

 

[pokemon_master]

Oh poor you.. It appears that you aren't having a good day.. I probably would of sobbed too if anything of mine got smashed (I was sad the day my stitch cup broke. It's one of those ones that came with a promotion and had a little stitch figurine on the bottom surfing. It came out of our dishwasher one day broken.. The same fate happened to a Lion King cup that was essentially the same idea.. )

Video Gamers are the worse kind to work with. Take it from me, if anything is said to them when playing a game/using the computer it just goes in one ear and out the other! It is like there is a whole different world we are in!

Sorry about the plate too. Is there any way the plate can be repaired or replaced easily? My mum looked up "China Matching Service" a while ago, and whilst that doesn't help directly, it may pay off to try and see if Disney do something like that..

Hope you can get things worked out soon..

 

[motheroftink]

Men just have this annoying habit of reverting to being boys sometimes, don't they?. They stop seeing us as their partners (and equals) and see us as their 'mummies', and can't understand why we don't just do all the housework, cooking, shopping etc for them without moaning about it. And when they want to play......well that comes first, and then because men can only do/think of one thing at a time, everything else goes clean out of their heads!!!! I myself would not be happy if my DH or DS wanted to play games on our main TV. I feel that the main TV is for just that, watching TV, and games should be played on another TV in another room.

I would suggest that you give each other a bit of space to calm down a bit, and then you should let him know that you aren't his mother, you are his wife, and that you are a partnership, and that all chores should be shared. Try to be dispassionate whilst you have this conversation, not to be a nag as it were, just be rational and calm. Ask him to think about what you have said and to put himself in your shoes. Listen to his comments, and then agree to have another chat in a few days time when you have both had time to think things through. The hard part is trying to not let it get into another slanging match cos that only makes things worse.

I have been arguing a lot with my DH lately. He took on a weekend job (as well as his full time job) to a) pay off our credit card and b) save for our WDW holdiay earlier this year. Well both objectives were achieved, but now (18 months later) he won't give up the weekend job cos he thinks we can't manage without the money. I say we can, and to be honest I am fed up with being on my own (the kids are often out with their friends) at the weekend, fed up with not being able to do things like shopping and days out as a family. And in the evening he falls asleep on the settee about 7.30pm cos he is so tired. I put our family life before money, but he puts the money first. He knows how much this is upsetting me, but still he won't give the weekend job up. Anyway enough of my problems and back to yours.

Just remember that you married him for a reason, you love him and he loves you, and with this in mind you will get it sorted.

Sending you some hugs . Try to keep your chin up and not let it get you down.

 

[Deedee]

When he comes in from work this evening expecting his dinner tell him the dog ate it. Or you could be sitting there playing his x box when he walks in and tell him you just need to finish this game then you might think about cooking his meal!!!!sending

 

[Funniebunny]

I had a similar ding dong with my other half last week. I was fed up after doing everything in the house as he sits there and does nothing, so I can totally understand. He loves his Playstation and if I say anything he comes back and says "everyone I know is allowed to play". I think to myself well maybe they don't have resposibilities. Grrrrr it really gets my back up.
I hope you are starting to feel a little calmer now

 

[pokemon_master]

I'm starting to feel like Public Enemy number 1 because of my gender now..

I agree with the chat, but it's important not to nag. Nagging would only make you appear to be even more like his mother and less like his wife...

 

[mandymouse]

You rant away Michelle, I hope you're feeling a bit better now, sorry to hear about your Mickey plate

 

[higgy66]

I think I like Deedee's advice best about being on the xbox when he comes in. It really would make the situation sink in without any more rows.

I can't comment as I really am married to the husband of the year but the one thing he didn't want me to be is his mother!

If this were me and my hubby I think we'd agree set times for the xbox. When I'm making tea I don't like any help in the kitchen so he could definietly go on then and to be honest apart from a handful of programmes per week the TV is rubbish so if you state what you want to watch each week he can have the TV the other times. Does this sound reasonable?????

Anyway - good luck and if you let me know what the plates were like I'm in DLRP in 2 weeks and could try to get you a replacement?

Janet x

 

[natalielongstaff]

your rant sounds all too familiar michelle i hope you feel a bit calmer now

 

[saratogagirl]

I like DeeDees advice about the XBox too, I hope you sre feeling a bit better now Michelle - big hugs to you babe x

 

[angel659]

Hiya

Thanks for your advice and support. I am more calm now and will pet the dog now Before I was ignoring her.

Bruce is a wonderful husband. He does do his fair share, but sometimes I think his once a week when I am at work thing isnt quite what I want. When I come home from on Sundays the house yes is spotless after having the kids all day. He does get the kids ready for playschool etc and take the kids to bed. I also do stuff around the house that seems to be missed. He does the ironing and I will do the washing and get it dried. Ironing tends to give me back ache so Bruce said he will do it. We do work in a team, but I think this little episode just wound me up. It might not of been so bad, if my mickey plate was not broken.

The Xbox is a pain to be honest. When he goes on there it will be all night. I like watching quite a lot of TV series in the evening. I was fine when my laptop was working in the living room. I used to have two way conversations with our friends as well. I really dont mind him going on there, but there are other stuff that needs doing and when I see this being neglected I get annoyed. I prefer to do chores or paperwork before I settle down. Thats me. I think I will have to agree some times when he can play on there until he gets another screen for it at least.

He does do his fair share and in fact when I am working a long double shift or I am ill he does more. Thats why he was so angry at me. I really dont want to be a nag or be his mum.

Oh well. Men aye

 

[fizz13]

Hi michelle,
glad you're feeling a little better now I think computers and games are one of these things that can break a marriage sometimes, or at least cause a major roadbump. round here, DH could be on his laptop all weekend instead of being with the kids, and then evenings too, which made my blood boil, when all they wanted to do was have a day out together.

I'd say you'll be ok and it sounds like Bruce is pretty helpful most of the time, so good for you two, sounds like a good relationship to me. i do understand about your frustration though and there is no way that machine should be on in the main room, very unfair. maybe you need a rota

Sorry about the plate hun,

 

[higgy66]

You don't sound like a nag or a mother figure - you sound like a partner.

He sounds like a great guy who unfortunately -like most boys and their toys - spends time on his xbox. I think this is a girl thing - not understanding how they can spend hours on them! Just like they can't understand how we always end up in the shoe and bag department when we're out shopping?!?

Anyway - Don't feel guilty for having a rant - it sounds like we've made you justify you hubby's part in the relationship. None of us were judging him - honest! Sometimes it nice to scream out loud and these forums are the perfect place.

When he walks in tonight - give him a big hug - now that WILL make him worry!!!

Janet x

 

[Deedee]

Just remember girls we were put on this earth to be NAGS and men were put on this earth to cause us to be NAGS!!

 

[Deedee]

Sorry Matt!!!!

 

[Dimplenose]

Michelle I understand what you're cross about. My DH does do a lot at home and I'm not the best housekeeper in the world but somehow all the jobs that have become my responsibility over the years (not conciously but we have fallen into gender stereotypical roles) are time critical. Such as cooking, shopping for food and washing/ironing. DH does do a lot but he does it when he feels like it whereas everything I do has to be done at set times. It's so frustrating!!

Libby

Libby

 

[angel659]

Hi

Thanks for your support and advice. I was at work last night and came in at 11:45. The kitchen was spotless and he did some washing and ironing. Ahh bless him. He kept apologising about the plate. He felt so guilty. Its a pity it cant be replaced they were discontinued line. He said when we go to WDW he buy me a whole set.

 

[angel659]

You don't sound like a nag or a mother figure - you sound like a partner.

He sounds like a great guy who unfortunately -like most boys and their toys - spends time on his xbox. I think this is a girl thing - not understanding how they can spend hours on them! Just like they can't understand how we always end up in the shoe and bag department when we're out shopping?!?

Anyway - Don't feel guilty for having a rant - it sounds like we've made you justify you hubby's part in the relationship. None of us were judging him - honest! Sometimes it nice to scream out loud and these forums are the perfect place.

When he walks in tonight - give him a big hug - now that WILL make him worry!!!

Janet x

Hi Janet.

I do feel guilty when I have rant. I moan and moan about him, but then he apologises and explains what he does. I feel guilty. So I have to back track myself. I do like it here. I can moan and groan about him and get support and advice. I know none of you were judging him, but its a great thread to throw off some steam. Your all such a lovely bunch I was so worried he would see this thread and feel that I didnt show what he did around the house. He replied and embarrass me He registered a while ago and tends to go on time to time. I never really know if he goes on the the UK community site. He tends to go on DLRP and UK trip planning.

Thanks again. I agree I cant see how they go on thier for hours and hours.