I am picking my battles....

[dismom2]

I don't pick and choose my battles. If I have a rule, or tell the kids to do something, they're going to do it. I am the parent; my rules. How does that go over for me you ask? Pretty well, actually. Kids need to repect their parents, and that includes their rules.

The only thing "I choose to not die on this hill" means to me is this: "I give up" and "I'm too tired to deal with this", and "I'm not going to make the effort".

You are just condoning a child breaking your rules.
This does not apply to the parents who choose not to have their children wear coats/jackets to begin with. Your kids, your choice. Frankly, I think 30 degree's is cold.

I don't have to fight with my kids over wearing a coat/jacket. My rule is, if I feel they need one, they have to at least take it with them--that way, they do have it if they feel they need it. I always tell them 'better to be safe than sorry', and they've learned that the hard way, so they respect that.

 

[golfgal]

I don't pick and choose my battles. If I have a rule, or tell the kids to do something, they're going to do it. I am the parent; my rules. How does that go over for me you ask? Pretty well, actually. Kids need to repect their parents, and that includes their rules.

The only thing "I choose to not die on this hill" means to me is this: "I give up" and "I'm too tired to deal with this", and "I'm not going to make the effort".

You are just condoning a child breaking your rules.
This does not apply to the parents who choose not to have their children wear coats/jackets to begin with. Your kids, your choice. Frankly, I think 30 degree's is cold.

I don't have to fight with my kids over wearing a coat/jacket. My rule is, if I feel they need one, they have to at least take it with them--that way, they do have it if they feel they need it. I always tell them 'better to be safe than sorry', and they've learned that the hard way, so they respect that.

No, "I choose not to die on this hill" means you don't have a rule about wearing a coat, not that you are too tired to deal with it. So, yes you do pick and choose your battles-the rules are your battles. Again, the whole point of this tread is that cold is relative-what is cold for one person is NOT cold for another. How about the one poster that wears ear muffs when it is 70, she needs those, I don't, should she make me wear ear muffs when it is 70 because she is cold??

What it really comes down to is control--the ones that MAKE their kids wear a coat want total control over their kids. Those of us that choose to let their children make simple decisions like this choose to let our children learn to make their own choices so when they grow up they know how. Like I have said, my 17 year old is perfectly capable of knowing when he is cold or not--like now, I have on a turtleneck and a wool sweater and I am comfortable, he is wearing a t-shirt and is comfortable where if I had that on I would be FREEZING. Should I make him put on a sweater too??

 

[golfgal]

I can't even tell you how ridiculous it sounds to force a teenager to wear a coat - it's like telling your 18 year old to go upstairs and floss (although I do believe flossing is important - you don't get cavities from not wearing a coat)! I just don't get why it's important - there is absolutely no danger in not wearing a coat, except maybe some physical discomfort. There are SO many things my kids HAVE to do - put their clothes away, brush their teeth, brush their hair, shower, do their homework, put away their toys, clear the table, come inside, go outside... There are no arguments - these things have to and will be done. But wearing a coat? Not wearing a coat has it's own built in consequence, effecting only the one who refuses to wear it. This is a good teaching moment.

Or worse yet, picking out the clothes your 18 year old has to wear each day.

 

[Uuaww]

right now they are young. I can say though that it will not matter to me if they were 14. If i tell them to wear a coat they will have to wear a coat. I know you will say "wait until they are older" etc. But to be honest i doubt that will change. I grew up the same way and i have no issue with it. It's not like i am telling them to wear snowsuits but if it is freezing out, i don't care how cute you think you look you must dress appropriately for the weather. If that means a hoody with 10 layers under it then fine- but if you think you are going out in a t-shirt in 30 degree weather then no go. It is not the wearing a coat persay- it is dressing for the weather regardless of how you do it.

sir, yes sir!

 

[laurie31]

I have decided that some of us are thinking of different situations.

Those with younger kids are (I think) imagining children playing outside with no coats. What those of us with older kids are talking about, or at least what I'm talking about, is wearing a coat from the car to a building. Neither I nor DH will drive wearing a coat. I drive to work, get out, put on my coat, and walk to the building. I cannot STAND to be cold. Also, I have to walk 3-5 minutes to the building, depending on how far away I had to park. DH's building has a parking lot close, and he only walks about 30 seconds, so he doesn't bother putting on his coat. He says it's not worth it for 30 seconds, just to take it off again when he gets inside.

This is how it is with DD13. She isn't trying to avoid hiding her outfit. She just doesn't want to bother getting out of the car, putting on a coat, and taking it off again inside. She is dropped off at the door; it's about 6 steps until she gets inside. I timed it, and she was outside for 3 1/2 seconds. I don't think *I* would bother with a coat for being outdoors less than 5 seconds.

My kids did go outside to play this morning, and they did wear coats. I didn't have to tell them to; it was obvious to them.


On school days, to me, coats are like earrings. I think it would look better if they wore them, but it's no big deal to me either way.

 

[mjkacmom]

Like I have said, my 17 year old is perfectly capable of knowing when he is cold or not--like now, I have on a turtleneck and a wool sweater and I am comfortable, he is wearing a t-shirt and is comfortable where if I had that on I would be FREEZING. Should I make him put on a sweater too??

My ds11 just complained that he is cold - it is December, in NJ, and he's wearing a short sleeved tshirt and shorts! He didn't get a lot of sympathy from me!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Can we book mark this comment and check back in 10 years from now to see how this is going? Eventually you will have to trust your kids to make their own decisions about things and if you are going to micromanage them all along, I feel sorry for your kids.
Again, 30 isn't cold if you are spending 5 minutes outside walking to school or 30 seconds going from the bus to the school. If you go to our high school in the morning 99% of the kids don't have a coat on. If you go to the high school on a weekend when all the kids are out sledding on the hills, they all have coats on. They DO dress for the weather but they don't NEED a coat when they are outside for such a short time. My kids will put on snowpants, coats, hats, mittens, long underwear, etc. to go PLAY outside but they don't wear coats to school.

Bookmark it all you want. It has nothing to do with micromanaging anything but I am so glad you know so much about us!

I can't even tell you how ridiculous it sounds to force a teenager to wear a coat - it's like telling your 18 year old to go upstairs and floss (although I do believe flossing is important - you don't get cavities from not wearing a coat)! I just don't get why it's important - there is absolutely no danger in not wearing a coat, except maybe some physical discomfort. There are SO many things my kids HAVE to do - put their clothes away, brush their teeth, brush their hair, shower, do their homework, put away their toys, clear the table, come inside, go outside... There are no arguments - these things have to and will be done. But wearing a coat? Not wearing a coat has it's own built in consequence, effecting only the one who refuses to wear it. This is a good teaching moment.

This is YOUR opinion. I don't care what you chose to do so why is it so important for you to disparage what I chose to do?

I don't pick and choose my battles. If I have a rule, or tell the kids to do something, they're going to do it. I am the parent; my rules. How does that go over for me you ask? Pretty well, actually. Kids need to repect their parents, and that includes their rules.

The only thing "I choose to not die on this hill" means to me is this: "I give up" and "I'm too tired to deal with this", and "I'm not going to make the effort".

You are just condoning a child breaking your rules.
This does not apply to the parents who choose not to have their children wear coats/jackets to begin with. Your kids, your choice. Frankly, I think 30 degree's is cold.

I don't have to fight with my kids over wearing a coat/jacket. My rule is, if I feel they need one, they have to at least take it with them--that way, they do have it if they feel they need it. I always tell them 'better to be safe than sorry', and they've learned that the hard way, so they respect that.

This sums it up best for me.

sir, yes sir!

Make sure your coat is buttoned up officer.

 

[pearlieq]

What it really comes down to is control--the ones that MAKE their kids wear a coat want total control over their kids.

I agree. It's creepy and depressing. Do they also tell their kids to eat even though they're not hungry and force them to use the bathroom even when they don't have to go?

There are some things that people should be able to have soverignty over. I know when I'm cold, hungry, etc. If my feeling differently than my parents is "defiance", that's just icky.

If someone is more invested in being in charge than actually treating their child like a human being with feelings and preferences of their own, I feel really bad for their kids. It's so disrespectful and misguided.

 

[dismom2]

I have decided that some of us are thinking of different situations.

Those with younger kids are (I think) imagining children playing outside with no coats. What those of us with older kids are talking about, or at least what I'm talking about, is wearing a coat from the car to a building. Neither I nor DH will drive wearing a coat. I drive to work, get out, put on my coat, and walk to the building. I cannot STAND to be cold. Also, I have to walk 3-5 minutes to the building, depending on how far away I had to park. DH's building has a parking lot close, and he only walks about 30 seconds, so he doesn't bother putting on his coat. He says it's not worth it for 30 seconds, just to take it off again when he gets inside.

This is how it is with DD13. She isn't trying to avoid hiding her outfit. She just doesn't want to bother getting out of the car, putting on a coat, and taking it off again inside. She is dropped off at the door; it's about 6 steps until she gets inside. I timed it, and she was outside for 3 1/2 seconds. I don't think *I* would bother with a coat for being outdoors less than 5 seconds.

My kids did go outside to play this morning, and they did wear coats. I didn't have to tell them to; it was obvious to them.


On school days, to me, coats are like earrings. I think it would look better if they wore them, but it's no big deal to me either way.

If they're almost adults, I wouldn't worry about it so much---I know my DH doesn't get cold easily at all, but I do. But, I prefer younger kids to wear a jacket, at least when necessary. It totally depends on the weather... wind chill factor, the sun reflecting off the snow, length of time spent outdoors, etc... I know we've been warm in the snow when the sun is shining and beating down---I can understand not wanting to be too warm. So, this question isn't an easy answer---it really depends on how cold it is if I make my kids wear a jacket/coat.

I just like the 'better to be safe than sorry' deal----that way if you get hot you don't have to wear it, but if it gets too cold, at least you have it.

 

[mjkacmom]

This is YOUR opinion. I don't care what you chose to do so why is it so important for you to disparage what I chose to do?


.

My point is, you have no way of knowing if you are going to FORCE a teen to wear a jacket. I can't imagine any of my friends who have teens making an issue about wearing a jacket - younger kids, yes, but not teens. They're almost grown, and by this time, you give them more responsibility, which includes whether or not to wear a jacket.

 

[Bluestars]

I used to make the kids put on a coat when they were little. But when they were around 8 or older, they were perfectly capable of deciding if they were cold or not, so I left it up to them. I dislike wearing a coat if I am not cold, so I wouldn't make my kids do it if they weren't cold.

Just today I took my son to the store. He was wearing shorts and a short sleeved shirt. I asked him if he was cold and he said he wasn't. That was it.

 

[clh2]

I have a 15 YO DD. The whole coat drama has been going on for years.

I have an easy outt his year...she found a plaid lightweight winter jacket at Kohl's this years. SO - this year she has been wearing it so far.

Generally - my stance is: if we are going on a road trip - she needs to take a jacket. She does not need to wear it. I figure if she gets cold enough...or if the car breaks down, at least she will have it!

I only "force" the issue when the temps get into the dangerously cold range.

We live in Wisconsin - there are some kids still wearing shorts to school.

Now - next year - when DD is driving - it will be a requirement thatt here be a coat in the car and boots, gloves etc. Again - that is more for safety reasons. But at least they will be there if she needs them.

And DD has requested some "techy" gloves for Christmas this year...apparently they make wearing gloves and using an ipod a little easier.

 

[golfgal]

I have a 15 YO DD. The whole coat drama has been going on for years.

I have an easy outt his year...she found a plaid lightweight winter jacket at Kohl's this years. SO - this year she has been wearing it so far.

Generally - my stance is: if we are going on a road trip - she needs to take a jacket. She does not need to wear it. I figure if she gets cold enough...or if the car breaks down, at least she will have it!

I only "force" the issue when the temps get into the dangerously cold range.

We live in Wisconsin - there are some kids still wearing shorts to school.

Now - next year - when DD is driving - it will be a requirement thatt here be a coat in the car and boots, gloves etc. Again - that is more for safety reasons. But at least they will be there if she needs them.

And DD has requested some "techy" gloves for Christmas this year...apparently they make wearing gloves and using an ipod a little easier.

Same here-they have to have warm things in the trunk at least-which they do with no issue what so ever. That is just simple common sense around here but they don't need a coat for spending 30 seconds walking from the car to the school even in the coldest weather.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My point is, you have no way of knowing if you are going to FORCE a teen to wear a jacket. I can't imagine any of my friends who have teens making an issue about wearing a jacket - younger kids, yes, but not teens. They're almost grown, and by this time, you give them more responsibility, which includes whether or not to wear a jacket.

You say force like I am going to alligator wrestle them into a coat. Look- some of you have kids who go right into school etc. and are only outside for 10 seconds. That isn't always the case for everyone. Am I going to beat them with a stick and insist on a coat? No- but if it is cold I will tell them to put on a coat if they are going out. It is not micromanaging, or even making an issue. To me it is the same as me saying put your shoes on to go out or no, you cannot wear your slippers to school.