I am picking my battles....

[laurie31]

Oh I agree that they should have an opinion. I am just saying that if it is 30 degrees out I don't care what their opinion is on the subject. Put on a coat.

Why?

I'm not being snarky, I'm serious. Why does it matter to you if your teen wears a coat or not?

Now, I don't tolerate disrespect, but I didn't tell (or even ASK) my DD to wear a coat. I could have *made* her wear one, but if I had, all she would do is take it off the minute she was out of my sight, so what good is that? (and yes, I realize that would be disobedience, but how would I know whether or not it happened. She would be like the poster putting a hat on her baby to keep the peace with her MIL). She likes the cold; she's not being disrespectful. She actually turned the AC on in the car today, and they're predicting snow!

 

[MrsPete]

If you happen to see my 13 year old daughter out without a coat on, please don't think I am a negligent Mom. She is insisting that she is NOT COLD and does not need a jacket to go to school.

DH this morning told her to put a jacket on before leaving for school. Her new comment is, I don't wear jackets!! Fine... I refuse to battle with her everyday over this. I told dh after she left today to leave her alone, I am done fighting with her over this. I told him if I make her wear one she will end up leaving on the bus, or it will get lost. At least right now I know it is here at home.

We will see how long this lasts, we are in NJ so it has not been horribly cold just yet.

We don't live in a cold climate, but my teens are awful about this. I decided not to fight it. After all, I am not cold. I have not neglected them. They HAVE plenty of warm clothes, but they -- like most of their friends -- CHOOSE to be cold. They're doing it because they think their big coats are unattractive; I've offered to buy different coats, but they don't like ANYTHING. They'll get tired of being cold. They'll outgrow this.

However, as they walk around in flip-flops and a hoodie, they are not allowed to whine to me about the temperature. They know that whining will only get them sarcastic remarks.

I do often have an extra warm something in the trunk of the car, and SOMETIMES one of them will go and wear it.

 

[mjkacmom]

30???? I couldn't even tell you if the kids put on their coats before they leave for school or not unless I look in the mud room after they have gone.

LOL - I can't tell you how many times I've told my kids to get in the van, we drive to school, and ds6 hops out, no jacket! I usually pick them up anyway after school, and although he's skin and bones, he doesn't appear to get cold (very hyper). It's kind of funny when they're dismissed, and all these kids are bundled up, and there he is in his shirt. His older brother is a hot one - it was 50 degrees yesterday, so shorts and a short sleeved shirt, and he walks to school.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Good for you!

Once my kids are old enough to say old and mean it--I let them suffer. My oldest 2 are 9 and 7 and I will still suggest a sweater or jacket, but it is solely up to them to choose to wear it. We live in Florida (for now anyway) so cool temps aren't really an issue so much.

 

[golfgal]

LOL - I can't tell you how many times I've told my kids to get in the van, we drive to school, and ds6 hops out, no jacket! I usually pick them up anyway after school, and although he's skin and bones, he doesn't appear to get cold (very hyper). It's kind of funny when they're dismissed, and all these kids are bundled up, and there he is in his shirt. His older brother is a hot one - it was 50 degrees yesterday, so shorts and a short sleeved shirt, and he walks to school.

When our kids were in elementary school they always made a HUGE issue about kids wearing coats, hats, etc. on the playground in the "winter". Well, sometimes it is 40 or warmer in the winter and these poor kids would get SOOOO sweaty at recess because they had too many clothes on. In kindergarten the rule was you had to wear home what your parents sent you to school wearing in the morning--ok, fine but there were plenty of days when it was 20 in the AM and 60 in the afternoon (the kindergarten teacher didn't have kids of her own ). They always forgot that the kids are running around like maniacs throwing balls at people's heads violently and they get hot.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I wouldn't care so much if she wore a hoodie, all I can say is at least today she had on a long sleeve shirt. Most of the time it is acami with a almost see through cap sleeve shirt over it.

There's a movie recently on Netflix that we watched with Renee Zelleweger. She's a South Beach business person stuck on a long term business trip to a plant in Minnesota--the movie is a hoot. They filmed it in a very super frozen part of Canada so all the scenes were real reactions to the cold.

My favorite scenes: She visits someone's home and umm...they keep suggesting if they can offer her something warmer to wear and she keeps declining. Then she goes to the bathroom and looks in the mirror and is mortified and hollers out in the hallway if the wife of the household can go get her jacket. The ladies were at....attention.

Then in several scenes, she is insistent on the cuteness of her clothes and finally sucks it up and heads to the nearest big city to buy a coat. And her comment to the sales person was to Forget cute, to give her warm or whatever. The line had me .

I'm such a chilly willy by nature, I wear earmuffs when running in the low 70s (something with the cool air causes a very piercing pain in my ear canal) and I'll begin bundling up when it is the 60s.


But get this--only my upper body has this problem. My legs can tolerate more cold. So I'm the nitwit in shorts and a sweat shirt at times.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Why?

I'm not being snarky, I'm serious. Why does it matter to you if your teen wears a coat or not?

Now, I don't tolerate disrespect, but I didn't tell (or even ASK) my DD to wear a coat. I could have *made* her wear one, but if I had, all she would do is take it off the minute she was out of my sight, so what good is that? (and yes, I realize that would be disobedience, but how would I know whether or not it happened. She would be like the poster putting a hat on her baby to keep the peace with her MIL). She likes the cold; she's not being disrespectful. She actually turned the AC on in the car today, and they're predicting snow!

Why? If it is freezing out they are not going outside without one. I don't care if they claim to not be cold. There is a reason that I am the parent. Sure, you can't catch a "cold" but you can get sick from being in the cold unprotected from the elements. If my child was so hot when it was freezing out I would take them to a doctor to make sure there was nothing wrong with them. If they checked out okay they would be wearing a coat. I am not talking on warmer days etc. that it is a huge deal. I am talking about when it is clearly winter weather. As for them taking it off when out of sight, well, that is a possibility but if I suspected that I would catch them in the act and they would be in trouble for lying to me. I know I sound nutty to some but my Mom and all the kids parents that I grew up with had it the same way. We survived and we don't hate our parents for it.

 

[Tink888]

So glad to see this thread today!!! DS12 is another who hates coats. Nothing but hoodies for him. Doesn't like socks either. Dropped him at the bus stop today in nothing but a hoodie. 36 degrees out and I had visions of CYS knocking at the door and charges of negligence pending.

Like so many of you I've chosen not to fight the good fight any longer. He's old enough to know whether he's hot or cold and can live with the consequences if he chooses not to heed my advice.

Until then, I keep the coats, gloves, hats and socks handy just to prove my case should I need to!! Fortunately, when the temps drop really low, he will at least take the coat, etc with him. Makes me cold just looking at him.

 

[powellrj]

Can I use my new phrase I learned on the DIS??? This is not a hill I chose to die on!!!!!

Growing up my mom always made me wear a coat and take a sweater with me. I was always dragging a stupid sweater around and roasting in a coat I never needed. I just got my coat out last week and retired my crocs last night and I live in Indiana. My dd is like I am. We are always so hot, we actually radiate heat. You can feel the heat coming off our bodies.

I have to admit, I did announce one time in Sunday school during praise and prayer time, that if you happen to see my DS today, the pants he was wearing were brand new and came with the rips and holes already in them. I didn't want to be on an elderly persons prayer list because of money problems!!!

I needed to add that I still haven't gotten my socks out yet. I actually pack them away because I never wear them except for a few footies with my tennis shoes.

 

[alexandria674]

Small story: It is actually really cold where my mom lives and I was visiting her. My sister( a fashion conscience teen) said she was going somewhere and I reminded her she should take a coat. She went on about how it would cover up her new outfit, blah blah blah and I just shrugged and said fine. She flounced out the door and within the next minute came running back in for her jacket. She took one look at me and said "Not a word".

 

[shortbun]

My boys are 14 & 13 and are still wearing sweatshirts to school. I doubt they will put a winter coat on all winter. Although yesterday it was 60 degrees here!

My 14yo son is still wearing shorts! It was 30 here yesterday. I told him 30 was my limit. He says it's hot in school.

 

[Holly]

Teens are old enough to make decisions and then deal with the natural and logical consequences.


If they choose not to wear a coat they'll be cold and maybe next time they'll make a different decision on their own.

 

[golfgal]

Why? If it is freezing out they are not going outside without one. I don't care if they claim to not be cold. There is a reason that I am the parent. Sure, you can't catch a "cold" but you can get sick from being in the cold unprotected from the elements. If my child was so hot when it was freezing out I would take them to a doctor to make sure there was nothing wrong with them. If they checked out okay they would be wearing a coat. I am not talking on warmer days etc. that it is a huge deal. I am talking about when it is clearly winter weather. As for them taking it off when out of sight, well, that is a possibility but if I suspected that I would catch them in the act and they would be in trouble for lying to me. I know I sound nutty to some but my Mom and all the kids parents that I grew up with had it the same way. We survived and we don't hate our parents for it.

How old are your kids???

 

[golfgal]

My 14yo son is still wearing shorts! It was 30 here yesterday. I told him 30 was my limit. He says it's hot in school.

That is the other problem-how warm/cold is it in school. Our kids wear short sleeved shirts in the winter to school because most of their classes are so warm-they wear hoodies to school. Also the locker thing that someone else brought up-there just isn't enough room, or so they tell me. DD14 wears her letter jacket to school not because she is cold but because she likes being the only freshman with a letter jacket with 2 years of letters on it already .

 

[etoiles]

I am a teacher and still have students wearing sandals and shorts with a t-shirt. Even when they leave outside to go home! Brrrrr!

A long sleeve shirt would look covered up compared to some!!

 

[C.Ann]

The one exception we have always had in regards to coats and cold weather (winter), was that when we were going in the car for any distance (half hour away or more) the coats had to at least be "in" the car in case we got stranded (broke down)..

 

[skuttle]

For Thanksgiving, one of my cousin's kids came running inside all mad because his uncle told him he had to put on a coat but he was not cold.

Yes, it was chilly standing in the shade with the wind blowing. But the kids were running around in the sun! The uncle has three kids under 4, so I can see making them put on a coat. But this kid is 8!

A few minutes later, my DS (6yo) came running inside crying because same uncle told him to put on a coat. I asked him if he was cold, he said no, so I told him not to worry about it. About an hour later, he came in and grabbed his coat.

I agree that some things just aren't worth the fight. If he's cold enough, he puts on a jacket. He had 2 jackets, a sweatshirt and a long sleeve shirt on last night to play in the "snow" (ice/snow/rain mix) that we had last night. LOL! He even put on the coat I bought him last year that he "hates". It was his idea, too!

It never gets TOO cold here. DS always wears short sleeves to school since it does get hot in there. If he starts complaining about being cold, then I'll buy him some long sleeve uniform shirts or plain white shirts to go underneath. Otherwise, I'm letting him decide.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

How old are your kids???

Right now they are young. I can say though that it will not matter to me if they were 14. If I tell them to wear a coat they will have to wear a coat. I know you will say "wait until they are older" etc. but to be honest I doubt that will change. I grew up the same way and I have no issue with it. It's not like I am telling them to wear snowsuits but if it is freezing out, I don't care how cute you think you look you must dress appropriately for the weather. If that means a hoody with 10 layers under it then fine- but if you think you are going out in a t-shirt in 30 degree weather then no go. It is not the wearing a coat persay- it is dressing for the weather regardless of how you do it.

 

[golfgal]

Right now they are young. I can say though that it will not matter to me if they were 14. If I tell them to wear a coat they will have to wear a coat. I know you will say "wait until they are older" etc. but to be honest I doubt that will change. I grew up the same way and I have no issue with it. It's not like I am telling them to wear snowsuits but if it is freezing out, I don't care how cute you think you look you must dress appropriately for the weather. If that means a hoody with 10 layers under it then fine- but if you think you are going out in a t-shirt in 30 degree weather then no go. It is not the wearing a coat persay- it is dressing for the weather regardless of how you do it.

Can we book mark this comment and check back in 10 years from now to see how this is going? Eventually you will have to trust your kids to make their own decisions about things and if you are going to micromanage them all along, I feel sorry for your kids.

Again, 30 isn't cold if you are spending 5 minutes outside walking to school or 30 seconds going from the bus to the school. If you go to our high school in the morning 99% of the kids don't have a coat on. If you go to the high school on a weekend when all the kids are out sledding on the hills, they all have coats on. They DO dress for the weather but they don't NEED a coat when they are outside for such a short time. My kids will put on snowpants, coats, hats, mittens, long underwear, etc. to go PLAY outside but they don't wear coats to school.

 

[mjkacmom]

Right now they are young. I can say though that it will not matter to me if they were 14. If I tell them to wear a coat they will have to wear a coat. I know you will say "wait until they are older" etc. but to be honest I doubt that will change. I grew up the same way and I have no issue with it. It's not like I am telling them to wear snowsuits but if it is freezing out, I don't care how cute you think you look you must dress appropriately for the weather. If that means a hoody with 10 layers under it then fine- but if you think you are going out in a t-shirt in 30 degree weather then no go. It is not the wearing a coat persay- it is dressing for the weather regardless of how you do it.

I can't even tell you how ridiculous it sounds to force a teenager to wear a coat - it's like telling your 18 year old to go upstairs and floss (although I do believe flossing is important - you don't get cavities from not wearing a coat)! I just don't get why it's important - there is absolutely no danger in not wearing a coat, except maybe some physical discomfort. There are SO many things my kids HAVE to do - put their clothes away, brush their teeth, brush their hair, shower, do their homework, put away their toys, clear the table, come inside, go outside... There are no arguments - these things have to and will be done. But wearing a coat? Not wearing a coat has it's own built in consequence, effecting only the one who refuses to wear it. This is a good teaching moment.