I am dumbfounded!

[EllenFrasier]

My daughter is entering 6th grade this year. She has a reading project due the 3rd week in September. Her friend was over again today and I asked her how she was doing on her book project. She said her Mom was reading the book for her and was helping her with the project because she knew she had some things to work out. What the heck is that supposed to mean? Can't the kid read? If not, should I intervene? Then she says that she and my daughter have decided that they are going to do their homework together this year - not! My daughter is independent and I want her to stay that way, not have someone who doesn't do their share hanging on her. OMG - what a way to start the school year.

 

[scrapquitler]

Well, I don't know...my husband and I will read chapters of the school books (or the literature selections) that our daughter is working on, and then if she gets confused about something she is reading, we can intelligently answer her questions or have a discussion to help her organize her thoughts...to me, that is 'helping' and I don't see anything inappropriate about it at all. We aren't going to DO the work, but she likes to be able to have someone to discuss the material with.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

there is nothing wrong with reading the book so you understand whats going on with the homework. Its doing the project for them that is the problem.

Ellen don't let these girls do homework together cause all this girl will do is copy.

 

[EllenFrasier]

Well, I don't know...my husband and I will read chapters of the school books (or the literature selections) that our daughter is working on, and then if she gets confused about something she is reading, we can intelligently answer her questions or have a discussion to help her organize her thoughts...to me, that is 'helping' and I don't see anything inappropriate about it at all. We aren't going to DO the work, but she likes to be able to have someone to discuss the material with.

Maybe you misunderstood me - her mother is reading the book for her, not with her. I can understand reading it with her - I often skim through the books my children choose for projects so I know what their questions are referring to, etc. but not doing it for them!

 

[robinb]

Maybe you misunderstood me - her mother is reading the book for her, not with her. I can understand reading it with her - I often skim through the books my children choose for projects so I know what their questions are referring to, etc. but not doing it for them!

You're listening to what an 11-year old is SAYING and not what she MEANS. It is probably what the other posters are saying and the mom is reading the book in parallel with the 6th grader.

 

[luvmy3]

You're listening to what an 11-year old is SAYING and not what she MEANS. It is probably what the other posters are saying and the mom is reading the book in parallel with the 6th grader.

Thats what I was thinking but I do have a friend who does read the books and does do the projects for her kids

 

[LuvLDM]

I agree the girl should be doing her own work but I fail to see how this is any of your business???

 

[EllenFrasier]

I agree the girl should be doing her own work but I fail to see how this is any of your business???

It's my business because she wants to do homework with my daughter!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My daughter is entering 6th grade this year. She has a reading project due the 3rd week in September. Her friend was over again today and I asked her how she was doing on her book project. She said her Mom was reading the book for her and was helping her with the project because she knew she had some things to work out. What the heck is that supposed to mean? Can't the kid read? If not, should I intervene? Then she says that she and my daughter have decided that they are going to do their homework together this year - not! My daughter is independent and I want her to stay that way, not have someone who doesn't do their share hanging on her. OMG - what a way to start the school year.

I would tell my dd that there is no way in heck she is doing homework with her friend.

Then again my dd is a brainiac and she knows how to field the leeches. She will help someone but will not give them answers. It really irritates them.

As far as worrying about what the kid does with her mom, eh, I would take that with a grain of salt. The kid might need some help and guidance from the parent. I would consider that none of my business.

 

[kwelch10377]

The only part of this that is any of your business is telling your daughter that they cannot do homework together. Even if I didn't doubt the childs ability I wouldn't have my kid doing homework with a friend unless if was a group project. It would take 2-3 times as long to get the work done because there would be too much talking and socializing.

You don't have any business "intervening" in how another mother chooses to help their child with their homework, especially when the only information you have is coming from an 11 year old.

 

[LuvLDM]

It's my business because she wants to do homework with my daughter!

So, you don't allow it..still not your business & no need for drama

 

[mhsjax]

So, you don't allow it..still not your business & no need for drama

But without drama, there would be no Dis boards. I really don't understand , she came here to post a question. And now all of the sudden it isn't any of her business. HOw many times have we had the discussion about snowflakes? Why is it different for this poster? Does she not fit some criteria that other posters do when talking about potential problem kids or potential snowflakes, or potential helicopter moms?

 

[grafxgirl]

There is a good chance the girl misspoke and really meant that her mom was reading with her.

I sit down with my daughter while she is doing her homework, and help her if she needs it since she is only in 1st grade, but I don't do the work for her. This week she is taking her first spelling test, so we've been practicing. I had her set her paper up, then I would say the word, put it into sentence form then repeat the word, just like her teacher will be doing, that way she will be familiar with the procedure tomorrow and won't feel nervous. I guess it helps that I'm a part-time teacher and know the different teachers in the school and how they manage their classes.

I would say the only part you should worry about is whether or not you want your daughter doing homework with the other girl. I personally, would not let my daughter do homework with someone else, unless it was a project assigned to them to do together, because I know my daughter would turn it into play time and wouldn't get her work done.

 

[jrmasm]

I agree the girl should be doing her own work but I fail to see how this is any of your business???

If I find out a 6th grader's parent is doing their homework, I'm going to judge. I don't really care if it's my business or not.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My daughter is entering 6th grade this year. She has a reading project due the 3rd week in September. Her friend was over again today and I asked her how she was doing on her book project. She said her Mom was reading the book for her and was helping her with the project because she knew she had some things to work out. What the heck is that supposed to mean? Can't the kid read? If not, should I intervene? Then she says that she and my daughter have decided that they are going to do their homework together this year - not! My daughter is independent and I want her to stay that way, not have someone who doesn't do their share hanging on her. OMG - what a way to start the school year.

I think it's between her and her mother. Absolutely you should not intervene! What did you have in mind?!

You don't know what's going on with the girl. She may have some work related anxiety, learning disabilities, etc. Not your business.

 

[Magpie]

Personally, I wouldn't get involved. When my kids "do homework together" with their friends, very little actual homework ever gets done. It's all about socializing, and I like to encourage that sort of thing whenever possible.

I mean, what's the worst that could possibly happen? Your daughter comes home and says, "Mommy, you must read my book for me!" I'd just laugh if mine tried that.

In your case, I wouldn't interfere with their friendship, especially if they worked together successfully last year. I'd just have a chat with my daughter about the dangers of getting suckered into doing all the work, and how she can handle it (nicely!) if her friend starts heading down that road. ie. "I love you, Susie, but I'm still not going to do your homework for you. That wouldn't be fair!"

Unless, of course, Susie has something of value to offer her in exchange... No, I'm kidding! Actually that was my son in Kindergarten, charming all the little girls into doing his written work for for him and then signing his name on the sheet. At the parent-teacher meeting his teacher was gushing over how much his writing had suddenly improved! I was suspicious however, and asked him what was really going on. He 'fessed up immediately, to his teacher's shock.

I'd let this be. Trust your daughter! She knows your values.

 

[kwelch10377]

If I find out a 6th grader's parent is doing their homework, I'm going to judge. I don't really care if it's my business or not.

It is one thing to judge, but it is another thing to intervene.

 

[LuvLDM]

But without drama, there would be no Dis boards. I really don't understand , she came here to post a question. And now all of the sudden it isn't any of her business. HOw many times have we had the discussion about snowflakes? Why is it different for this poster? Does she not fit some criteria that other posters do when talking about potential problem kids or potential snowflakes, or potential helicopter moms?

What don't you understand?
I responded to the Op, gave an opinion just like everybody else

 

[ols386]

If the mother is indeed reading the book and doing the project for the daughter, then she's not doing her daughter any favors. Kids need to be able to do things on their own, in order to become independent adults.

 

[mhsjax]

What don't you understand?
I responded to the Op, gave an opinion just like everybody else

Oops, my bad, I didn't read the intervene part. so yes it is not of her business as far as getting involved. But as far as coming here and venting, that is no big deal and like I said I didn't see the intervene yet. Can I plead the only 1 cup of coffee excuse?