Hypothetical question.

[BabyPiglet]

So let's say your parents smoke, and you tell them that when you bring your (future) kids over, you'd like them to smoke outside. No big deal, except your mom thinks it is.

So your mom says that your (future) children our welcome to her house anytime, but she'll still be smoking. Because it's her house, she can do whatever she wants in her own house.

You say you don't want your kids exposed to second hand smoke. So you guess you won't be bringing your children over to her house.

You also say that you're going to raise them with open minds. Your mom says she'll say whatever rascist or homophobic things she wants, because it's her house.

So who's being stubborn? Who's in the wrong?

 

[Sparx]

you don't tell people what to do in their own home. if you don't like what they do in their home, don't go to their home.

 

[DramaQueen]

your mother!!

she's just really set in her ways and doesn't seem willing to change.
that's almost the DEFINITION of stubborn!!

she obviously has the freedom to do whatever she wants, but out of respect for "you" & your future children, she MAY want to consider changing her answers.

If i were in that situation, as much as I LOVE my mom, there is NO way I'd be bringing my kids over to visit and be exposed to 2nd hand smoke.
If my mom wanted to see her grandkids, she'd be coming over to my smoke-free home.

 

[Babyjustrun]

I don't know really...
I'd probably still bring them over, but that's just because I want my kids involved with my parents.
My grandfather used to smoke outside, and both my uncles do that now. They don't smoke in their own homes either.

 

[pigletgirl]

Your mom has the right to smoke in her own home, because it is her's and whatnot, but you CAN ask to not to smoke around your future kids.

When it comes to racist comments, ect, I dont know what you tell you. Thats incredibly difficult. Maybe not even bring up the issue? That might be tough.

I might be in the same shoes soon enough.

 

[Axel]

I'm with Shelby on this one. You respect the rules of a person's home, even if you don't agree with them.

However, I would be with you on this one. I don't mind my kids being around people who smoke, just don't do it when they're in the same room.

Some states now have laws that say you can't smoke in a house, car, or other place of private property if a child under 16 is around. You can get fined something like $200 or more, I believe.

As for racist comments, raise your kids with open minds and they will learn that you mother is just spouting nonsense. Teach them to humour her, but to ignore her when she speaks like that.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I wouldn't be bringing my kids to my parent's house while they're young. I'm not going to tell my parents to act differently in their house. Their house, their rules.

If they were to say racist things in my house, they're not invited. I respect their rules; they respect mine.

 

[STOPxmickeytime]

Your mom might have been overly defensive because it seemed like you were questioning her parenting skills in raising you.
I'm assuming since she smokes now that you were repeatedly exposed to secondhand smoke as a child. And by saying that you'd never do that to your own child, it seems like you're incinuating your mom didn't care enough to do it with you.

People tend to react defensively when they feel they're being judged or attacked.

 

[imabrat]

you don't tell people what to do in their own home. if you don't like what they do in their home, don't go to their home.

 

[chisnpeke]

If my parents smoked while I was living at home it's not just THEIR home. They are sharing with their child(ren). Personally, I think it should be illegal to smoke around your children. I always knew the kids whose parents smoked when I was in school...you could smell it so bad on them.

Anyways, I wouldn't be taking my kids over to see my parents. I think it's selfish to put cigarettes above your grandchildren.

I'm with you Jenny.

And the racist/homophobic thing? They wouldn't be left alone with them. They aren't the child's parent.

 

[chisnpeke]

Your mom might have been overly defensive because it seemed like you were questioning her parenting skills in raising you.
I'm assuming since she smokes now that you were repeatedly exposed to secondhand smoke as a child. And by saying that you'd never do that to your own child, it seems like you're incinuating your mom didn't care enough to do it with you.

People tend to react defensively when they feel they're being judged or attacked.

Jenny's A LOT nicer than I would have ever been if my mom would have smoked when I grew up or even now. When my health is compromised, especially when I was a teenager, I would have given her hell. Yea, I would have been soo awful but I really don't care...I should respect my parent but what about my parents respecting their CHILD! It's terrible to expose your kid to secondhand smoke, especially in an enclosed area such as a home or car.

 

[ohdisco]

So let's say your parents smoke, and you tell them that when you bring your (future) kids over, you'd like them to smoke outside. No big deal, except your mom thinks it is.

So your mom says that your (future) children our welcome to her house anytime, but she'll still be smoking. Because it's her house, she can do whatever she wants in her own house.

You say you don't want your kids exposed to second hand smoke. So you guess you won't be bringing your children over to her house.

You also say that you're going to raise them with open minds. Your mom says she'll say whatever rascist or homophobic things she wants, because it's her house.

So who's being stubborn? Who's in the wrong?

She probably, when the time comes, will be more considerate of the children's health when it comes to the smoking. I know that my family is really racist as well, and they never keep their mouth shut, even around people who are of that race . It's horrible, but most people who are set on that find it hard to keep it down.

She's in the wrong, to me, at least.

 

[chisnpeke]

She probably, when the time comes, will be more considerate of the children's health when it comes to the smoking. I know that my family is really racist as well, and they never keep their mouth shut, even around people who are of that race . It's horrible, but most people who are set on that find it hard to keep it down.

She's in the wrong, to me, at least.

Well, if she hasn't stopped doing it for her own child, why would she stop for her grandchildren? I just find it so sad.

 

[cindys_castle2011]

Your mother.

She, just as much as you, shouldn't want her grandchildren exposed to that kind of stuff.