Husband fed up with Kitty!

[Cooky]

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[Scurvy]

UPDATE:

Well, DH come home for lunch and we discussed Kitty quite seriously. DH is more than willing to confine Kitty in our new apartment and keep him that way. However, we had a serious discussion about what may be best for kitty.

Kitty's current life: Screened in patio that he loves. Would spend all night and half the day out there if he could. Tends to poop when left home alone which is tough since both DH and I work. Does better when he has enough attention and time outside to play.

Kitty's life to be (Option A): Confined in a guest bathroom for at least 12 hours out of a day between work and sleep when we cant see him. No back Patio anymore. Most likely less attention than now due to work schedules and newborn.

Kitty's Life to be (Option B): DH apparently discussed out plgiht with the in-laws. They regularly babysit Kitty for us and know all about him. They volunteered to take him. They have a large fenced in backyard (so even though Kitty is declawed he could be outside there). There would let him be indoor/outdoor in the backyard like other felines they have had. They have one other very submissive 16 yr old cat and MIL has been looking for a new kitty for awhile. Kitty would have more room to roam, wouldn't be confined.... but he wouldn't be mine anymore. FIL is retired and he would get far more attention.

I have been crying over this. I don't want to give Kitty away.... I love him dearly. But it also feels inhumane to confine him to a crate or bathroom when my in-laws (who know him) want him and would give him a large yard to play in.

Kitty will be staying with in-laws during month of December anyway while we move. Do I take him to Orlando when we move for a test run to see how he adjusts to being confined? Or do I just leave him with the in-laws if he seems happy. I am torn up. I feel so horrible for thinking about giving up my kitty, but I wonder if he would be happier at the inlaws. What to do....

I love him, but i don't know if I am the best option for him.

Why not try some of the suggestions on this thread before you make your decision. Maybe the situation will have improved by the time you move.

If it doesn't then you'll have to evaluate your options. Will your in-laws' fence actually keep the cat in the yard all the time, or are there ways the cat could get over or through the fence? Will it keep all other cats, dogs and predators out? A declawed cat will be a sitting duck if it's stuck outside and something attacks it. Will you have a yard at your new place? There are lots of designs online for outdoor cat enclosures. Would you be willing or able to build one for the cat?

 

[scottishduffy]

Why not try some of the suggestions on this thread before you make your decision. Maybe the situation will have improved by the time you move.

If it doesn't then you'll have to evaluate your options. Will your in-laws' fence actually keep the cat in the yard all the time, or are there ways the cat could get over or through the fence? Will it keep all other cats, dogs and predators out? A declawed cat will be a sitting duck if it's stuck outside and something attacks it. Will you have a yard at your new place? There are lots of designs online for outdoor cat enclosures. Would you be willing or able to build one for the cat?

I will definitely be trying the suggestions on this thread in the interim. I will also be talking to the vet to see what else we can do to help Kitty. Though the majority of the suggestions on the thread are already in place to help Kitty.

Our new place is an apartment on the 2nd/3rd floor with no Patio or Yard. We currently have a patio in this apartment, but our new one will not. If we take him to orlando I will most likely put cat perches/hammocks by the windows so he can at least look outside. Perhaps keep a small fishbowl in his bathroom where we would confine him since he enjoys looking at that. I will also try to get another cat tower (we have one) so he could have a high spot as he likes that as well. We have priced out catwalks and outdoor cat pens for him, but since we are on a second floor this won't really be an option.

Inlaws have a good fence and haven't lost a kitty yet. Our kitty is not a jumper at all. He won't even jump on the counter or the table. Just not his thing i suppose so I'm not worried about him escaping or others coming to get him. The only jumping he does is on his kitty tower.

 

[minkydog]

Why not try some of the suggestions on this thread before you make your decision. Maybe the situation will have improved by the time you move.

I agree. You have at least a month to try some things out. If you're not making any headway by Thanksgiving, I think you should consider leaving Kitty with the in-laws permanently. The bottom line is not how you feel about this, but what's best for Kitty. Right now it seems like at least 2 out of 3 of you are unhappy.

 

[clarabelle]

I am always surprised when people post stuff like this.
If I were thinking about giving away a cat there is NO WAY I would post it on the dis.
You would get a more positive response if you said you were thinking about sacrificing one of your relatives in a satinic ceremony. (Especially if it were a meddling MIL)

OP I think you should do what is best for your marriage and household

 

[Scurvy]

I am always surprised when people post stuff like this.
If I were thinking about giving away a cat there is NO WAY I would post it on the dis.
You would get a more positive response if you said you were thinking about sacrificing one of your relatives in a satinic ceremony. (Especially if it were a meddling MIL)

OP I think you should do what is best for your marriage and household

Really? Have you found the responses so far to be particularly negative or unhelpful? It seemed to me like everyone was doing their best to help the OP find a workable solution.

 

[WDSearcher]

I would go with Option B. Let Kitty stay where / with someone he knows. Once you've completed your move and are comfortable in your new place, go to one of the shelters in Orlando and adopt a new kitty. The new kitty will only know the "new" place, and won't have to adjust from a patio to a totally indoor space. And the old kitty won't have to go through the stress of a move or the lessening of attention that will just naturally come with a new baby. There are certainly plenty of wonderful lovable kitties in Orlando's shelters who would love to find a home with you!

Not only would your Kitty be happy, but your MIL would have the new cat she's looking for and you'll be saving another cat in Florida. Lots of lives helped that way, y'know?

Good luck!

 

[jmpurdy]

Now I would definitely NOT suggest adopting another cat/kitten. Are you kidding? You never know what physical/behavioral issues you are getting when you adopt a pet, dog or cat. Try the tips we gave and let MIL's take him if it doesn't work. But I think alot of it will show improvement. You are not being abusive for a month of confinement and re-training. You will be offering more and more space to him as he continues to poop where he is supposed to. This is how they learn. Think of it this way. You are retraining what you want him to do (or not do!). If you don't keep the cat, you need a break from the stress/mess of this one, not to go out and replace it with possibly another more serious problem. And kittens? They are the worst! They get into everything and need a playmate if both humans work long days. Best of luck and do try the suggestions and be consistent!

 

[scbelleatheart]

I have found the suggestions very helpful. We tried a lot of different things. We have a rescue kitty but purebred who is very high strung. Moving to a new house was tramatic and leaving for long hours stressed him out. Once we come home in the evening he will be mad, piss in a corner and then after a few hours crawl up in bed with us and can't be more loving.
We did find an anti-stress collar, like flea collar, and spray that helps. We have to keep the boxes clean with no lids and dumbest thing of all, bring in the Lab so the cat can pick on the big dog. They sleep together but the dog is just as moody when we leave. I put piddle pads down before I leave for work and they will not be used until I walk in the door.
I understand your frustration and your husband's, don't give up. They are so touchy about changes.
Hope it works out.