Hurt! I don't know what to do now UPDATE

[friendofgusgus]

PrincessDisneybelle-

You have received some great advice from all the other brides, so there's no need for me to add to that. Just a hug!

BUT... when you can, and when the hurt is not so new, please try to forgive your friends.

I see from your ticker that you still have 5 months to go. This really isn't the worst time for them to tell you - you still have 5 months to make other plans for your arrangements. While it sucks that they won't be there, don't let a wedding kill your friendships.

I know it's hard, but things really do change over the course of a year. What may have seemed easy to plan for a year ago may seem impossible now. I know that our budget went up and down during the year before our wedding - some months it looked like we could have it all, and other months it seemed like we would have to cancel everything. And that's the way life always works. If I think back over the last few years, one car accident, one family member leaning on me a little too hard, just a couple of bad spending choices that I was SURE I'd be able to handle... and I wasn't able to do something I was SO SURE I'd be able to do without any effort. Even though it might feel that way now, your friends' inability to travel with you may NOT be a reflection of how much they care about you. (Hard to believe, I know!)

It's not an excuse - it's just life. And while your wedding day can be magical, it's one day. It seems like they've really disappointed you and while it stinks that they're not stepping up to tell your DF, I can't help but wonder if they're afraid to based on your reaction.

I don't think this is coming through the way I mean it - I really do feel for you. But I know, from experience, that your wedding day will be special regardless of who is standing beside you. I also know, unfortnately, that your wedding day can be far from the most magical day you've ever had... and your real life, complete with friends, will help you remember that it's not the end of the world. While you only have the one day to be special, in the end, it's also only one day - while good friends can last for a lifetime.

I'll be thinking of all of you - and wishing you the best day you can imagine!

Jennifer
Disney bride 12/11/06

 

[Andy B]

I know this is not what you wanted but remember that the Wedding is just one day, a doorway to Marriage and the Marriage is the important part. Yes we all want our Wedding day to be special but you will find that it flys past and you will hardly remember parts. Later when you look back it is unlikely to be how people stood or walked that you look back on but how lucky you were to have made a commitment to your DH.

At our wedding we only had one surviving parent there and hardly had any attendants as we felt this would have been unbalanced. Just last month we went to a family gathering of my DW's family and it was mentioned that one of her cousins was not at the wedding. I did not remeber that.

You will not be able to guarantee everything is perfect unless you can controll the weather etc. so make good plans try not to get stressed out and look forward to it as the start of marriage otherwise the next day could be a little bit flat.

 

[ForKeeps]

Hi princessdisneybelle,

I hope you're feeling better

That's such a hard thing to have happened. I know it seems disappointing now, but don't worry, your day will be perfect...and your BFs will be there in spirit!

There were so many people we wished we could have with us on that day, but the finances just weren't feasible. But they were still with us.

I know it's hard though when you first deal with it

 

[princessdisneybelle]

Thank you everyone for your advice! Yes I understand this is one day and I understand the cost of it. Trust me! I guess it just bothered me how I had to get it out of them and they didn't just come out and be honest. There are alot of people that I wish could be there but can't and I totally understand. I will not let this ruin any friendships, I'm more mature than that. Just hurt how it happend. I would never let this ruin our day or the beginning of our marriage. I only brought it up here because I knew some of you would have some great advice and you have.

thank you very much.