Hurt! I don't know what to do now UPDATE

[princessdisneybelle]

Well I just found out that 2 of our groomsman are backing out. They now say, after knowing about the wedding for a year that they can't afford it. They are mutual friends, but more my friends than DF. I'm really upset and they won't tell him. So I have to. So now i have 2 to many bridesmaids. Really have no one to take their places. What do I do?

Well I have some great news. After talking to my 2 friends we have come up with some creative ways to get them to the wedding. They will only be able to be there for the weekend and the wedding, but that makes everyone happy. They are carpooling with my family and all sharing a room. DF's family has agreed to by the groomsmen's park tickets and my family is helping with their food. Thanks for all of the support. You guys are the best!

 

[pooh98378]

I have seen pictures of weddings where they didn't have an equal number of groomsmen to bridesmaids. For example, when they walk down the aisle, you could have the groomsman in the middle with a bridesmaid on each side of him. I think it would be fine if you are open to that idea. The only other option I can think of is if you could find two more groomsmen. Don't worry -- I'm sure it will work out!

 

[StephSFL]

Well I just found out that 2 of our groomsman are backing out. They now say, after knowing about the wedding for a year that they can't afford it. They are mutual friends, but more my friends than DF. I'm really upset and they won't tell him. So I have to. So now i have 2 to many bridesmaids. Really have no one to take their places. What do I do?

I'm sorry, hun! No one needs that kind of stress- especially with the weddign around the corner.
Because I am having half guys and half girls on my bridal party side and my DF has all guys everyone is walking down the aisle by themselves.
To solve the whole too many on one side issue, maybe you could put one of your bridesmaids on his side- mix up the parties. You could distinguish the two sides by their floral.
For our wedding, everyone who is considered a bridesmaid/bridesmen has black magic roses while his groomsmen all have chocolate roses. It would probably look really nice to have some women on his side strategically placed! All you would have to do is explain who is part of what group in your program.
I hope that made sense!
I really hope everythign works out!

 

[PrincessBelle23]

What nice friends! Sorry to hear about that, I'm sure you have many more important things to worry about for your wedding than 2 ppl backing out on you!! What if you just had the 2 extra women walk together. I recently went to a wedding with a similar situation, except the 2 extra girls were chidren from a previos marriage, and they walked together. I'm sure it'll work out!

 

[princessdisneybelle]

I'm sorry, hun! No one needs that kind of stress- especially with the weddign around the corner.
Because I am having half guys and half girls on my bridal party side and my DF has all guys everyone is walking down the aisle by themselves.
To solve the whole too many on one side issue, maybe you could put one of your bridesmaids on his side- mix up the parties. You could distinguish the two sides by their floral.
For our wedding, everyone who is considered a bridesmaid/bridesmen has black magic roses while his groomsmen all have chocolate roses. It would probably look really nice to have some women on his side strategically placed! All you would have to do is explain who is part of what group in your program.
I hope that made sense!
I really hope everythign works out!

Wow thanks this sounds like a great option. I have just been in tears because these were 2 of our best friends. How did you place the maid of honor and best man?

 

[princessdisneybelle]

What nice friends! Sorry to hear about that, I'm sure you have many more important things to worry about for your wedding than 2 ppl backing out on you!! What if you just had the 2 extra women walk together. I recently went to a wedding with a similar situation, except the 2 extra girls were chidren from a previos marriage, and they walked together. I'm sure it'll work out!

thank you! yeah i'm sure it will. but just hurts right now i guess.

 

[Deesknee]

I just wanted to extend a big

I know the feeling. 3 weeks before my wedding my brother told me he couldn't afford it. I understand the hurt, disappointment and anger.Thankfully, in our case, DH's childhood friend had flown up from FLA and stood in for my DB. Things work out if we let them. That friend ended up moving back here. He is now my DD Godfather. DH and he have been friends for nearly 40 years, and thanks to my DB backing out they got to reunite and become the best friends they were all those years ago.

I think the other post about mixing up sides sounds like a perfect idea. I love unique weddings, don't you?!

 

[JJClemson]

Oh no! I'm so sorry this is happening to you Don't worry though, I'm sure your wedding will still be wonderful! You've done sooooo many nice things, how can it not be? I cannot believe they won't tell your DF themselves! That would make me angry!

As a prior poster said, I have also been to a wedding where there were more BMs than groomsmen. A woman on each side of the man looks nice walking down the aisle. You really do not need to have even numbers. This may end up being a problem for me too b/c my MOH, my cousin, is very sick and has good days and bad days and we will not know until the actual morning of my wedding, if she will be up to coming or not.

Good luck, I am sure everything will turn out fine

 

[princessdisneybelle]

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I feel alittle better. Just wish they had the guts to tell him!

 

[JonetteA]

I am so sorry girl! I know things will work out for the best!!

 

[StephSFL]

Wow thanks this sounds like a great option. I have just been in tears because these were 2 of our best friends. How did you place the maid of honor and best man?

First and foremost I am so sorry you are dealing with this kind of stress.
MY MOH and Best Man will be right next to each of us (I guess that is "traditional"). Is your side all women?
Please don't worry about telling DF. I know it must be hard- you don't want to upset him. I am sure he would hate to hear how distressed you have been and would want to help you get through it (he seems so sweet)!

I think by maybe switching up the two sides and having some of your bridal party on his side of the aisle and some of his on yours would be unique and make a statement that you are not only becoming one as a couple, but merging family and friends.

I hope that wasn't too tacky, but I think it would be sweet and make a statement.

 

[princessdisneybelle]

First and foremost I am so sorry you are dealing with this kind of stress.
MY MOH and Best Man will be right next to each of us (I guess that is "traditional"). Is your side all women?
Please don't worry about telling DF. I know it must be hard- you don't want to upset him. I am sure he would hate to hear how distressed you have been and would want to help you get through it (he seems so sweet)!

I think by maybe switching up the two sides and having some of your bridal party on his side of the aisle and some of his on yours would be unique and make a statement that you are not only becoming one as a couple, but merging family and friends.

I hope that wasn't too tacky, but I think it would be sweet and make a statement.

Yeah we are trying to figure it out. He is pretty upset at our friends. Because of our location we may just have then all stand on one side together. This will definately be a unique wedding.

 

[StephSFL]

Yeah we are trying to figure it out. He is pretty upset at our friends. Because of our location we may just have then all stand on one side together. This will definately be a unique wedding.

Yes, it would! I like it!

Well, I don't know if this will make you feel any better, by my DF wants to kick one of my bridesmaids out! Long story!

I hope everything works out!

Sending you a PM!

 

[BrideToBe82]

Aww I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this! You don't have to have an equal number of bridesmaids/groomsmen-this is your wedding and you can do it your way! If you really want it to look equal you could have the MOH and Best Man stand up with you and the rest of the bridal party can sit down in the front row.

 

[Maggimus]

aww.. I should have put a card in the mail with the package i just sent you... dang it! Heres a hug from me to you .

Okay-- just as everyone was saying.... stagger the sexes.

if you have 2 extra girls.. that is perfect.

Just make sure the girls go on the ends...
so lets say 4 boys, 6 girls

girl boy girl boy girl BRIDE AND GROOM girl boy girl boy girl

and manouver it for however many you end up having... 2 is a good number to have in difference.

lets see- 5 and 3?

girl boy girl boy girl BRIDE AND GROOM girl boy girl

(man the world girl sure does look weird sometimes!)

GL ... everything will work out. And hey-- if they waited this long to tell ya-- you should probobly be thankful they arent coming at all!!

 

[princessdisneybelle]

aww.. I should have put a card in the mail with the package i just sent you... dang it! Heres a hug from me to you .

Okay-- just as everyone was saying.... stagger the sexes.

if you have 2 extra girls.. that is perfect.

Just make sure the girls go on the ends...
so lets say 4 boys, 6 girls

girl boy girl boy girl BRIDE AND GROOM girl boy girl boy girl

and manouver it for however many you end up having... 2 is a good number to have in difference.

lets see- 5 and 3?

girl boy girl boy girl BRIDE AND GROOM girl boy girl

(man the world girl sure does look weird sometimes!)

GL ... everything will work out. And hey-- if they waited this long to tell ya-- you should probobly be thankful they arent coming at all!!

thanks Maggie.

It's actually 5 girls 3 boys

 

[PrincessBride07]

I know that many people have mentioned the two bridesmaids and one groomsman idea. I just want to say I was a bridesmaid that had to share the groomsman. The best man was unable to attend due to expenses. When we exited the church the other bridesmaid and myself took a side of the groomsman and walked down the aisle. It was an amusing point that everyone enjoyed for most of the guests. They all chuckled when we both took an arm. He was in glory having two women to escort out in front of everyone.

 

[Belle1981]

I have seen a wedding described like Princessbride07 mentions and it really did look cool. Let me just tell you that its their loss to not be part of your special day! They will be kicking themselves that they missed out and to be honest they should be ashamed to call themselves your friend. I am so sorry that you are hurt . Regardless of this little set back it will still be your most special day. Keep on smiling!

 

[princessdisneybelle]

I have seen a wedding described like Princessbride07 mentions and it really did look cool. Let me just tell you that its their loss to not be part of your special day! They will be kicking themselves that they missed out and to be honest they should be ashamed to call themselves your friend. I am so sorry that you are hurt . Regardless of this little set back it will still be your most special day. Keep on smiling!

Thank you very much! I feel alot better after all of the encouragement from my friends here. Sometimes I don't think I would be able to go through the stress of wedding planning without you all.

 

[DIP626]

I know that many people have mentioned the two bridesmaids and one groomsman idea. I just want to say I was a bridesmaid that had to share the groomsman. The best man was unable to attend due to expenses. When we exited the church the other bridesmaid and myself took a side of the groomsman and walked down the aisle. It was an amusing point that everyone enjoyed for most of the guests. They all chuckled when we both took an arm. He was in glory having two women to escort out in front of everyone.

I was in a wedding where this happened too. I wasn't one of the BMs that had to share a GM, but it I agree it definitely looks cool and the guy felt like king of the world.

So don't worry, your day will still be magical and when you get back you can show them cool pictures of what they missed out on.