Hurt DSIL's feelings? (long post)

[AprilShowers]

I don't know what to do here. We own a monument store, and for 3 years, DSIL has done some floral arranging for us. She's not very good at it. In fact, she's quite bad. She hasn't had any formal design training, and it shows. At first, DH thought she had some raw talent, that with some practice, she could develop and do some good work for us.

Well, that has failed miserably....... She keeps bringing in crap and wonders out loud why it's not selling. At first we spent lots of money advertising floral arrangements, etc. We finally quit doing that. I think she's frustrated at us that we don't advertise the florals anymore. But I just don't have any confidence in her work.

She's a VERY NICE person, and I wouldn't hurt her feelings for the world, but the last few pieces she brought in look like garage sale fodder! I just don't know what to do!!!

Last year, she set up at a craft show, and did not sell ONE thing.

Now we have a customer who is a widow and she does BEAUTIFUL work! She wants to start bringing in stuff, and when she does, it's snatched up VERY quickly. Well, when DSIL caught wind of that, she was VERY hurt. DH explained that the customer wanted a garden bench and wanted to barter for it. (not exactly a lie she DID want the bench)

We've tried to gently make suggestions for arrangements, and sometimes she brings in something that is nice, but most of the time it is crap. We're afraid now that if we "fire" her, DH will lose his brother and that's not good.

Suggestions? I REALLY want to start buying flowers from our customer, but don't know how to let DSIL down gently.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

ouch
its hard to work with family
does DH borther know her stuff stinks and that it isnt selling?
if so maybe he can help

 

[Scutapipig]

Unfortunately, honesty is best here. Done with extreme kindness and gentleness, but honesty rules.

Is there something else that she may be able to help you out with that she has a talent for?

 

[Pigeon]

Could you offer to send her to a class for this sort of thing? My local school district has continuing ed classes for adults that often include floral arranging and are very cheap to take.

 

[AprilShowers]

Unfortunately, her DH doesn't know what looks good either, or he would have told her. He's VERY blunt like that.
AND if we told him, he'd be mad at us and BRUTAL with her. Not physically mean, but harsh with his words.

As for her doing something else here, I don't know what it would be. She's a very nice person, but her skills are a bit lacking. It's just DH and I here and we don't really NEED anyone. So it would be more of a "pity" job. And that would just get annoying. KWIM?

I'm just sick over this, but I can't keep buying her flowers and storing them in the attic!

I suppose I know what the answer is, and that's to put on my big girl pants and tell DH to tell her the truth! LOL

Just kidding. We need to have a talk with her, but I KNOW her heart will be broken. I honestly don't think a class will help. You either have an eye for this stuff, or you don't.

Anyone good with words want to help me?

 

[JR6ooo4]

I am also dealing with family and business. It is not easy.
Good luck.... do what is best for the business or it may affect your income.

Mikeeee

 

[dzorn]

Instead of buying her things out right offer to take them on consignment, but let her know you will be also doing this for another floral person. She will probably have hurt feelings, but you can only do so much.

Denise in MI

 

[Tinijocaro]

You need to just tell her that her things are not selling, and that you can't afford the loss. tell her that they haven't been selling for a while, ask her what she would do if she were in your situation? Let her know that you are actually losing money and that people just are not buying her designs. You need to go with another person to see if those would sell better.

 

[kimmikayb]

Instead of buying her things out right offer to take them on consignment, but let her know you will be also doing this for another floral person. She will probably have hurt feelings, but you can only do so much.

Denise in MI

I wonder if this wouldn't be the right approach? I know honesty is the best policy but with family....padding the way helps too. When she sees her items aren't selling....maybe she'll try to improve on her skill or she'll find something else?

You're in a tough spot....make your DH wear the big girl panties here

 

[AprilShowers]

Instead of buying her things out right offer to take them on consignment, but let her know you will be also doing this for another floral person. She will probably have hurt feelings, but you can only do so much.

I like this idea in theory, but then I still have bad flowers in my showroom. Then it's my reputation that's out there for people to see. KWIM?

People are saying "nameofmystore's flowers are crap, you should see them! I went there, and they looked like garage sale stuff!"

So it's not just that it's not selling, it's that it's here in the store, for people to see, with my name on it. Gives us a reputation for doing bad work.

 

[Evil Genius]

You and dh both have to sit down with her and explain to her that it's business and that while you appreciate the time and effort she has put in to the floral arranging, you have found someone that your customers prefer. After that you have to let whatever happens happen.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would suggest she go to school for formal training.

 

[jen0610]

You need to just tell her that her things are not selling, and that you can't afford the loss. tell her that they haven't been selling for a while, ask her what she would do if she were in your situation? Let her know that you are actually losing money and that people just are not buying her designs. You need to go with another person to see if those would sell better.

I would second this option. I use to work in a family run florist and the one daughter taught me how to do all different types of arrangements. Some types I was good at, others not so good. Far better with fresh, than silk/dried flowers. They also had a SIL who would always offer to help at Valentines day, mothers day, and prom season. But her arrangements were so bad, they stopped letting her do them. When she asked why I was helping out, but she couldn't, they told her that what I did moved/sold, while hers didn't. The couldn't afford to have fresh product sitting, losing them money. She was ok with the explianation and helped out stripping roses and wiring them.

 

[AprilShowers]

Thanks guys! I guess we know what we have to do. It's just easier said than done. Neither one of use would hurt her feelings for all the $$ in the world.......

It aint gonna be pretty.

 

[juligrl]

I would suggest she go to school for formal training.

I agree. I know community colleges around here offer non-credit floral arranging classes every so often at reasonable prices.

 

[rie'smom]

Maybe the floral lessons would work. It's apparent that she doesn't have an eye but she does have a love for it and sometimes that is a great motivation to try new things-maybe different types of arrangements in her case.

 

[Serena]

Be honest. Sit her down, give her a hug if you do that, and just tell her you love her to death and don't want to hurt her, but you have to tell her that her flowers do not sell and you need space for ones that do.
Tell her you don't know if she needs formal training or if it's something you have to have a talent for, but it's not working right now.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Maybe the floral lessons would work. It's apparent that she doesn't have an eye but she does have a love for it and sometimes that is a great motivation to try new things-maybe different types of arrangements in her case.

I agree! And obviously it's something she enjoys doing but she just needs more guidance. She may be one of those people who can only copy designs out of a book and that's OK too as long as she has good, up to date floral magazines to look at. I took floral classes at the local community college for two sessions, it was a blast. We subscribed to a floral mag and it was full of pics and ideas. She may suck at "thinking up" her arrangements but she may really excell at choosing ones from a magazine. Heck, if nothing else just buy her a subscription to one of the magazines.

 

[annegal]

I'm just curious...what is a "monument store"?

These are silk flower arrangements-correct?

Another idea is to find silk arrangements you like and ask her to replicate them (Hobby Lobby, Micheal's etc). Unfortunately, even with all the classes in the world, either you have "an eye" for design, or you don't.

 

[AprilShowers]

I'm just curious...what is a "monument store"?

Monuments are headstones. You know, like in the cemetery?

And yes, she makes the silk florals for the cemetery. Some of them go on top of the monument. Some of them go in vases to the side of the monument.

I'm afraid that if I pay for, or even suggest classes, and it still doesn't work out. Then I'm further in the hole with her than I am now.