Humbling question.

[ruadisneyfan2]

Glad to hear you are making progress. I definitely agree with the others about not waiting to punish (just wanted to clarify) but as I also have an older child, I can definitely see how something could be serious enough that the punishment cannot be a one-time thing and three months out, you could still be dealing with the consequences. Definitely a trying time as a parent.

My almost-13 YO boy drives me nuts sometimes. He's a good kid and we thankfully have not yet had to deal with serious issues, but I know it could come at any time. Posting this question the way you are, I don't think anyone can criticize, because I would bet most of them don't have older kids and it's like a childless person seeing a tantruming child and thinking "My child would NEVER do that." Oh yes they will. They will push your buttons and limits and break rules. It's all in how we respond to those things. And you are trying to respond fairly and thoughtfully (the latter of which my dh still needs to work on) because the worst thing is to start throwing around punishments and then deciding later they aren't appropriate. I've even told my preteen for more minor stuff that before I can give him his punishment, I have to think about it.

Good luck, and enjoy your cruise

So true. Everyone is a parenting expert until they actually become one. Then you can easily spend a lifetime second guessing yourself.

 

[baleeve]

Every day I question if I should be taking my son on any cruise. Most of the time on the way to the cruise I question if I should be doing cruising with him. On the cruise I question if I should have done this. Then I calm down and remember he is a 16 year old boy and does not do anything close to what I did when I was his age.

This truly made me feel better. Sometimes as a parent we feel we are on a island all by ourselves. To know others have the same feelings makes me feel better.

I guess that fact that my kids love my company (still) is a good sign. Some kids wouldn't even want to go on a cruise with their parents. I'm a very lucky Mom!

 

[MEK]

This truly made me feel better. Sometimes as a parent we feel we are on a island all by ourselves. To know others have the same feelings makes me feel better.

I guess that fact that my kids love my company (still) is a good sign. Some kids wouldn't even want to go on a cruise with their parents. I'm a very lucky Mom!

Everyone has challenges with parenting, but a lot of people don't want to talk about their specific challenges. It is very humbling, as you said.

It sounds like you are working your way towards a solution just simply by taking a deep breath and calming down.

You are lucky that your kids want to travel with you. By the time my oldest with 13 he was already digging in his heels and complaining while we were on vacation. So instead of listening to him complain, we left him in the room with permission only to go to the food court. He spent the rest of the day watching TV and playing gameboy. When we came home at dinner time he demeanor totally changed and he was good for the rest of the vacation.

 

[rentayenta]

Every day I question if I should be taking my son on any cruise. Most of the time on the way to the cruise I question if I should be doing cruising with him. On the cruise I question if I should have done this. Then I calm down and remember he is a 16 year old boy and does not do anything close to what I did when I was his age.

Exactly!! At least that I know of.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I am so glad the comments on this thread have been so supporting! Our, now 35 year old, second son thanked us for the guidance and support we gave him in his youth. He was 27 when he told us that he doesn't know how we stood by him, and believe me, hearing this was so wonderful.

He's a new father and recently asked how do you deal with the times his son will want to do something he should not do?!

OP, I truly hope you resolve the issue and enjoy the vacation. However, even if there's more to come, stand by him, keep trying, I do believe the struggle is worth it, and as a parent, you can help him mature.

Bobbi

 

[lady9]

Trust is a huge thing when it comes to a teenager. If you can begin to rebuild that trust in the months before the cruise, you will be happier on the cruise. I think you should go, there are plenty of activities you can do as a family and have a wonderful time. Although I trust my teen, he is still a teen and I hold him accountable for his actions. When on a cruise, he has to text me on the wavephone where he is. If he changes location, he texts again. Sometimes we show up where he says he is just to check. It makes for a more relaxing cruise knowing he's safe and doing the right thing. He never knows if/when we will show up. I think you should have your teen (if it is a teen) earn some freedom on the cruise over the next few months. That way he has a goal, and something to look forward to. You don't want a miserable teen on your hands making the whole family miserable. Hopefully this is just a first offense and he/she learned from the mistake and is remorseful. Have a wonderful time.