HUGE parties for small children/toddlers

[Jaimee]

Did you/do you have huge birthday parties for your small children?? My cousin had a party for her DD's 2nd birthday yesterday and it was just insane. I t was at their home (which is huge) but they had about 60-70 people there. It took over an hour to open gifts. It was a mix of family and friends, lots of kids. Her DD seemed tired out after the first hour, we were there from about 2:30 until 6:30. By the time we got to opening gifts she clearly was in need of a nap, but they kept pushing her to open all of these gifts to get it on video. I knew she already has everything you can imagine, dollhouses, learning toys, they even have a huge indoor bouncy thing in their house. I just bought her 2 books, but she had soooooooo many gifts. She really wanted to play with this babydoll that her great grandma gave her, but they wouldn't let her play with anything until each card was read aloud, and she opened each package. She received 10 outfits from one aunt along with 3 computer games, and they made her open each one individually. I usually have about 6-8 kids and their parents at DS's parties, which I even think is too much. How do you handle your small kids parties??

 

[Melora]

All I can say is that is exactly what my step kids moms did for them.. huge parties for tiny kids who could care less.

And its always for kids who have more toys than God anyway. The kid is overwhelmed.

We always have small family/close friend parties only for the kids until they got to school. Then we invite the class.

 

[KristaTX]

As a person who does not yet have children, I find it very annoying when my church friends throw huge themed birthday parties for their non school-aged children. I am amazed at how many of them do that, though. It always just seems like way too much for those kids (and for me, too ).

 

[Pin Wizard]

I did it for all the kids in DS's pre-K3 and pre-K4 groups. The kids really did do a lot of things together. If they could make it, fine, if not that was fine, too. However, when he reached kinder, it was just his close friends who were invited.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

No birthday parties here! We spend the day as a family... doing what the child wants to do. If anything, we let the kids have a friend or two spend the night.

 

[GEM]

That sounds like WAY too much for a child that age. I love birthday parties, but a 2 year old can't handle all that. That's definately more for the parents than for the kid! When our little Paul turns one in May, we will probably have a little party - just my mom, my siter, my brother and siter-in-law, and that's about it.

 

[clh2]

Dave Barry column on parties

This was Dave Barry's column on parties a couple of weeks ago. Which ironically was the same day as my niece turned 4. My SIL planned 3 separate parties, one for church friends, one for mom's side of the family, and one for dad's side of the family.

Too much IMHO.

 

[BedKnobbery2]

I had a big family party for my first son's first b-day, and a smaller party for friends. The reason for the big family party is that my son was the first "new" generation kid on either side of our families, and when I say first, I mean first---cousins and all included. My ex-husband's family is HUGE and local. If we hadn't invited everyone, it would've been a huge stink. However, we did specify no gifts, and I don't remember making a big deal over opening any presents that were brought anyway. (Thank goodness now there are tons of kids in his family.....but only one girl, so now she's the new dotee!)

 

[KathyTX]

The huge parties are clearly for the parents, not the kids.

Since he's been old enough to tell us what he wants, we've allowed DS to choose what kind of party he wants. At age 4, he just wanted to take the 4 YO girl across the street and her parents out to eat pizza. Another year, he just wanted my sister and her three older kids to come over and swim with him. Another year, he invited 5 schoolmates over for a pool party. Another year, he just wanted my mom to join us at his favorite restaurant.

He's NEVER wanted a big party, and balked anytime I suggested one.

 

[Gupsmom]

I think parents can get very carrried away. It definately is more for them than for the child... BUT, someone could misinterpret our children's family parties as being too big. We can get up to 34 people (usually about 24 though) at our parties. All of them are VERY close immediate family (our sibs, their kids and our parents) with the exception of one family. They are close friends. We are just lucky enough to have all of our family in town and be close to all of them. In our case, I would rather deal with the big party and see my children surrounded by a lot of people that care deeply about them. I think it's amazing and wonderful that they have so much family that know and care about them.

That being said...we make a point not to invite extra people to our parties. It would get too insane. My oldest didn't have a friend party until he turned 6 (Kindergarten). My middle daughter had a couple neighbors go with us to Chuck E Cheese for her 5th b-day and she will have her first real friend party this year (she turns 6). My youngest lucked out and had a friend party last week at McDonalds for her 4th birthday. I didn't really intend on having one for her so soon, but she is in preschool with a great group of kids that are very close. She had been invited to 5 parties already this year and she kept talking about what she wanted to do for her party. I didn't have the heart to say no.

Jess

 

[Dan Murphy]

Lately, I have been to some kids' BD parties that are one piece of cake shy of a wedding reception. I personally think they are ridiculous and more of a competitive thing among the parents as to who can have the best, biggest party for their kid.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

OMG..that IS too much for such a little one. And the parents just pushing and pushing for the child to open EVERYTHING at one time so they can get it on camera. I hope the kid later takes that video and uses it in his therapy sessions..."See what my parents did to me? No wonder I'm so screwed up!"

TOV

 

[Dizzy-Disney4]

We have never had big parties for our kids. DS is 10 and had his 10th party at the bowling alley with about 5 friends and his godparents and grandparents...thats it. We have actually had people get upset for NOT inviting them...but our families are so large that you have to draw a line somewhere.

 

[Desnik]

We do big first B-day parties in our family. However, we never open gifts at the party. We usually have a very small family party for the 2nd B-day. Once they are in pre-school we do a party outside the house and invite family kids and friends from school, not the whole class.

I am actually in the planning stages for my DS first B-day in March. I will have it at the house, have it catered and there will be about 50 people. 10 of those being kids. I have family and friends coming from far distances and I expect them to be at the house for hours!!!LOL I don't really mind. DS will have his nap, he can sleep through alot of noise! I definately won't torture him or my guests with opening gifts!!!

 

[DD2Disney]

On DS first birthday I just baked the cake myself and had DMIL come over from next door....lol Its easy I don't think I would want to stress myself out on something that my son is just want to nap through anyways (awww the days of naps are over though )

2nd birthday just had a cookout invited ppl to dinner. John just loves company so that is a party to him.

 

[C.Ann]

Ugh.. I have a SIL who is among the biggest offenders when it comes to this and it is strictly all about how much MONEY and gifts she can get for her children..

100 people would be about the "norm".. I remember one time talking to her after one of these parties and she was complaining about someone that didn't give a gift - and another who didn't give "enough" money.. After that I stopped going to the parties and have never attended another since..

She is STILL doing this - and her "kids" are 17 and 22 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------

I really don't like large parties for little children - and if you've ever noticed, 99% of the time the birthday child ends up crying for one reason or another.. It's too stressful on them..

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Ugh...that's horrible. I can't believe your SIL does that.

I don't think we're going to have a huge party when James' first birthday rolls around next year, probably just a small cookout with family and friends. It's not like the littlest ones (who are younger than like say 6 or 7 or so) remember too much about these big parties anway, I think. The parties are more for mom and dad than they are for the kids.

TOV

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Had to add my SIL story.... she believes birthdays are anything you want days.

Their oldest daughter (now 14) spent her first 10 birthdays puking.

No kidding! She got out of bed.... wanted cake... ate cake. Lunch? NOPE! She wanted cake... ate more cake.

By the time the afternoon party rolled around - and guests started arriving..... the birthday girl was so sick that she did not care about presents, guests, parties.....

You would think after the first few years they would have gotten a clue.... but NOPE!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Some parents are morons. As are some kids apparently.

TOV

 

[CEDmom]

I started a thread about big parties several weeks ago after DD and I got back from one. I personally think it's rediculous and in most cases the b'day child ends up on the verge of a meltdown. The party we were at consisted of 30 children under 5, parents and family. I think there were about 75 people in total. It was terrible with some parents behaving worse than the kids. This family has parties like this each year but they just seem to get more out of hand. We won't be going to another one.

We usually have 2 parties for DD. One at pre-school (cupcakes, hats and some cheap toys) and another for friends/neighbors who's children she plays with (between 8-10 kids in total).