Hubby trying to sabotage trip

[lilpetie]

well now I dont know what to do. I have a hubby that is so tight he squeaks and he is throwing one major fit about this trip. Even tho I am going with a friend and we are splitting costs he still is constantly gripping about the cost and the bills and on and on. Lets just say he has issues I wont go into.
WELL today he told me I cant go...... excuse me????
So now he has opened up a can of worms and made this even more difficult for me to save up for. I guess I can not rely on his support. I called my friend and she said Forget about paying for the gas. I was gonna go anyway. But I find out the trip is gonna be for entire 2 weeks and she has decided that POP C 2 rooms would be better. I do agree but now I have to come up with all the money myself. SO WISH ME LUCK........ I only have 4 full months to do this in. ARGHHHHH. I am going on way or the other. AND HUBBY can just COPE..........

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Have you considered opening and ING account and trying to save that way. I have heard soooooooo many here on the DIS have funded many Disney trips that way. The interest earned on the money you have in isn't bad at all.
You can put the account in your name only and you would have access to it.

 

[JoeThaNo1Stunna]

With ING you get an automatic $25 if you get a referral from someone, and $10 for anyone you sign up. You earn 2.1% APY interest, there is no minimum, and no fee. You only need to open an account with $1, and with the signup bonus you will have $26. Just PM me if you have any questions.

 

[nana2tots]

What is the ING account, how and where do u sign up for it.??Thanks nana2tots

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by lilpetie
well now I dont know what to do. I have a hubby that is so tight he squeaks and he is throwing one major fit about this trip. Even tho I am going with a friend and we are splitting costs he still is constantly gripping about the cost and the bills and on and on. Lets just say he has issues I wont go into.
WELL today he told me I cant go...... excuse me????
So now he has opened up a can of worms and made this even more difficult for me to save up for. I guess I can not rely on his support. I called my friend and she said Forget about paying for the gas. I was gonna go anyway. But I find out the trip is gonna be for entire 2 weeks and she has decided that POP C 2 rooms would be better. I do agree but now I have to come up with all the money myself. SO WISH ME LUCK........ I only have 4 full months to do this in. ARGHHHHH. I am going on way or the other. AND HUBBY can just COPE..........

If you work and have your own money , he has no right to tell you you can not go.

Keep checking Mousesavers.com. YOu might find some great deals on POP.

Good luck.

 

[mad4themouse]

Are you sure that it's a money issue and not something more? I know that my DH would not be very enthusiastic about me taking our DS12 out of school for 2 weeks and driving to FL right before the holidays (bad weather, long distance, missed classroom time).

I hope that you can resolve the objections he has for your trip. In the meantime, do what you can to save for it. Maybe if you can show him that it's not going to break the budget, he will be a little more supportive.Try the following:

• Starting the ING account and doing referrals is a beginning. Add to it regularly (even $10 per week can make a difference).
• Cut the fat in your current food budget. Use coupons and purchase fewer convenience foods. Put the savings into your savings account immediately before you spend it.
• Save your change. You'd be surprised at how it adds up! Last year, I had almost $800 in change. I just never used exact change when making a purchase and I threw it all into a jar each evening. My bank has a free counting machine but you can also roll them yourself. Don't use a CoinStar. They charge too much just to count the change and you're trying to save every possible dime.
• Think of one "luxury" that you can do without for a while. Do you get pizza every Friday? Go to the movies on a regular basis? Perhaps you buy a cappucinno everyday? Cutting out just one of those "luxuries" for 4 months could put some real cash in your pocket.
• If you have a set amount of cash that you keep out of the bank every paycheck, see how much you can refrain from spending. Anything left in your wallet when the next paycheck comes, is yours to put into the Disney Fund.
• There are also part-time jobs, selling crafts, babysitting, etc.
• EBay has been a big help to many people on this board. I made a few hundred $$$ for my trip with very little effort but there are some experts on this board who make much more.

I hope that you get to take your trip. I think you deserve it and so does your son. It sounds like you have a very good friend and she'll do what she can to help you get there. Good luck.

 

[Ursula]

Is there something your hubby likes to do that also costs $$??

My husband likes to go on his hunting & fishing trip every year so there really isn't too much he can say about my Disney trips.

If there is some hobby or something your husband spends money on, maybe you could point this out to him?

Plus, I work & I take money from every paycheck & put it in a savings account for Disney. I do this year round, whether I have a trip planned or not.

 

[pat fan]

I don't think I read your previous posts explaining your situation, so if I say something wrong...forgive me. That said...I'm a little confused. Did you discuss this trip with your DH and he was good with it in the beginning? Is he just now balking because you'll be gone 2 weeks? Or that you now have full expenses instead of split expenses? Personaly, I would not be going on a trip if DH didn't want me to go. For any reason.Money,time or what-have-you. I wouldn't want to go on a trip for 2 weeks without him anyway, but that's just me. Sounds like you two need to sit down and find out what the real issue is. If it's money, maybe you can do as other posters have stated to save some $$. If it's the time, what can I say, my DH wouldn't want me gone that long either. Could you go for less time since your friend is getting her own room now? Whatever happens, good luck.

 

[MELSMICE]

I don't want to get too personal, but is just a money issue? Will you be taking children or is it a trip for yourself only? Do you work or is he the sole breadwinner? Do you have any money saved yet for the trip?

I guess I'm confused & surprised by the situation because I know if I wanted to do something like this DH wouldn't stop me. I do realize, however, that every situation and every marriage is different.

Good luck, I hope you get to Disney without any complications from hubby or anyone/anything else!

 

[hulabird]

My sister's husband (he is a loser and not worthy of being called DH unless the "D" stands for something other than dear or darling if you get my drift) is tighter than tight. Two years ago we went to WDW with my sister and her family including loser. He never shut up about how much the "mouse was stealing his wallet", it ruined the trip for us. He wasn't kidding either, and it was the start of my sister filing for a divorce. The thing is, he is a plumber and makes huge dollars, he never takes his family anywhere let alone even spend time with them, the almighty buck is all he cares about, but won't share it with his family. This year, now that my sis has filed divorce, we are all going to WDW and we are going to have a great time.

Families and wives need to come first, afterall you can't take it with you! You should be able to go to WDW and your DH should support you and go and have a great time because it is what YOU like.

Ok I am now off the soapbox...(sorry I am just sick of husbands that are selfish)

 

[ptcruisermom]

Originally posted by hulabird
My sister's husband (he is a loser and not worthy of being called DH unless the "D" stands for something other than dear or darling if you get my drift) is tighter than tight. Two years ago we went to WDW with my sister and her family including loser. He never shut up about how much the "mouse was stealing his wallet", it ruined the trip for us. He wasn't kidding either, and it was the start of my sister filing for a divorce. The thing is, he is a plumber and makes huge dollars, he never takes his family anywhere let alone even spend time with them, the almighty buck is all he cares about, but won't share it with his family. This year, now that my sis has filed divorce, we are all going to WDW and we are going to have a great time.

Families and wives need to come first, afterall you can't take it with you! You should be able to go to WDW and your DH should support you and go and have a great time because it is what YOU like.

Ok I am now off the soapbox...(sorry I am just sick of husbands that are selfish)

sounds like mine-we haven't hardly spoke for over 2months-long,long,story so won't go into it only mine is a truck driver we (oh excuse me) he owns the truck. have seen an attorney she told me as long as he is paying the bills hang in there a little longer he is usually only home on week-ends the kids and i have been doing what we wasn't to and when we want to these last 2 months. he was always questioning me about my paycheck etc. i think he needs some help- he is a control freak( i have finally realized this but i think i really need to get him out of here- i just hollered at my DS 13 and Dd 10 because so cut a hole in a can of coke when she was opening the case- i think he is getting to me Mine got mad at me because DD and i went for a weekend to Chicago for a dance convention in Feb-my mom paid for all of it. Ye s I work

 

[hulabird]

ptcruisermom

I will say some prayers for you and your family as well. I am totally pro-marriage, however, some men are just jerks, plain and simple and sometimes it is best for the rest of the family (meaning kids and wife) to just end it.

My sis's soon to be ex has never even treated his children well, in fact they hate him, and he blames all of us, saying we "brainwashed" them, when in reality HE neglected them, treated them mean and made them the way they are. He won't admit to that. These types always blame everyone else for what they themselves caused.

My sister who has only been a stay at home mom (and cuts hair on the side in her basement) has been paying for food etc...for the kids, the loser is still living in the house, but he stays out until like 4 a.m. several times a week, buys food only for himself, and doesn't give my sis any money for food or anything for the kids, she has been using her haircutting money, which isn't much and some savings she has to buy the kids what they need. This will all change when they go to court, he is going to be required to pay for some things. I am only so worried about my sis because this guy is so centered on "money" that when he is finally faced with the huge amount he will have to pay for my sis and the kids, I am not sure what he will do. She wants him out of the house, she is hoping the court will make him leave asap, he picks fights and everything in front of the kids, it is a bad situation. I am glad we are getting them out of the situation for at least a few weeks by taking them to WDW. They surely need it.

 

[maximom]

Originally posted by hulabird

Families and wives need to come first, afterall you can't take it with you! You should be able to go to WDW and your DH should support you and go and have a great time because it is what YOU like.

Ok I am now off the soapbox...(sorry I am just sick of husbands that are selfish)

I totally agree with this BUT, if your family seriously cannot afford a Disney vacation that's another thing too. I don't know what the OP's circumstances are either. My DH isn't really into spending a lot of money on vacations so I just saved it myself and we're all leaving in a week, DH included (and I actually think he's excited about it). However, I've noticed on these boards at times some people (not necessarily you hulabird and believe me I think your sis's soon to be ex is a jerk and I hope all works out well for her and kiddos!) feel that Disney trips should be put first and foremost over anything because you are spending time with your family. If you can financially do this that is great, if not you can certainly vacation somewhere else a lot cheaper! I'm glad that I'm able to take this trip but I definately wouldn't if it would put my marriage or bank account at risk.

JMHO

 

[jkovick]

No trip is worth hurting your marriage in the long run, IMO. I know you want to go, but maybe your husband has good reason for his feelings. I hope the two of you can work it out.

 

[RoyalCanadian]

I simply can't believe a woman would initiate divorce proceedings over financial disagreements voiced on a WDW vacation. Divorce and the consideration of divorce should be the ultimately final option. Instead, we see couples using it as the first option. Get counselling -- both husband and wife together. Learn to communicate. Force the communication if necessary.

I have grown somewhat tired of reading about "Cheap Husbands" when I know full well that I would find myself banned from the Disboards if I were to initiate a discussion on "Spendthrift Wives". It is well known that the major disagreement in any marriage is going to be about money. That said, I wholeheartedly agree with those who suggest this is about a lot more than just money and I also agree with those who suggest that using "We're spending time with family" to justify a WDW vacation is hardly justification at all when other more economical vacation locales are available across the continent and around the world. My family will spend the equivalent of less than $7000 US for a three week vacation in Great Britain and Paris this September. It's a bargain when I realize we could easily spend that much in 1-2 weeks at WDW and only see pictures of the places we will be in September. So often we don't even "discover" the city in which we live -- cities that often have large budgets (using the money we pay in taxes) to lure visitors from other cities.

 

[momxx5]

I must say I find these types of threads very sad and concerning.

I guess everyone has different circumstances. I certainly do not know what kind of life Lilpetie. I do know that DH and I have a great relationship and I cannot for the life of me imagine having conversations or even threat about vacations.

I pray that you and your DH will be able to work through all your problems.

 

[HenDuck]

I understand like others do that money matters are often a subject of dispute and ******* in a marriage. My marriage is no different.

I hope the OP and her husband can talk about what underlies his anger over this trip. Having admitted to having money issues in my own marriage, I know that money is just a symbol for us of something deeper - like security, identity, whatever.

I am just sending pixie dust to the OP and the rest of us who have "imperfect" marriages.

 

[ceecee]

At our pre-marital sessions at church (16 yrs ago) they said money was one of the top reasons for divorce. Still, I can't help but thinking OP's husband may have another reason for suddenly changing his mind. Maybe he feels excluded, I certainly wouldn't want my DH going on a vacation without me! Maybe a heart to heart talk is needed.

 

[jjarman]

DH is not going on our next WDW trip. It will just be me and DS14 in March, 2005. DH said after our last trip 2 years ago that it was fun but he didn't want to go again. Well, DS and I whined and DH said if we wanted to go I had to pay for it myself. Well, guess what? That is exactly what I am doing. I save so much out of each paycheck and it is not touched for anything (well, almost anything. Did buy DS a new Playstation 2 last week) DH has tried to get me to spend some of my "Disney money" and quickly learned it is off limits. He doesn't even ask anymore. After 20 years of marriage he has finally learned that once I set my mind on something I do it.

Now to OP, I didn't understand the room situation but were you and your friend getting 2 rooms at POP? Why? Just keep saving your money and keep cutting those corners. I bet DH is jealous that you want to do something without him and it sounds likehHe is threatened by your decision to do something on your own.

 

[WeluvDisney2]

Is your husband the jealous type, or is he just feeling left out? Would he have as many objections if you were going with him instead of your friend? Is your friend single? If not, how does her husband feel about it? If she is single, maybe your husband has a concern about you doing "single" things. Maybe you could plan to go for one week instead of two, and have your husband go along with you with the money you save on the extra week. Good Luck!