How would you react...Pregnant BM - update post #37

[madfelice]

I am sorry so many people have sledged you here. I understand how you felt. I would want everything to LOOK JUST RIGHT TOO. If you feel comfortable and your BM really does feel up to the action involved, then keep her as BM, but if you think you will regret it or if she feels nervous about doing the job, ten give her another role,like doing a reading at the wedding.

 

[disneyheaven]

As a fellow Disney Bride, who did indeed dream about her wedding since the age of five, I do understand your point of view about things "matching" perfectly. When you envision your bridesmaids, you want everyone to look uniform, you want the symmetry of the dresses and lineups to look "picture perfect" but as a person, you also need to understand that life (beautiful-always-not-so-perfect life) often does get in the way of what we envision, leaving us two choices. 1) you can either let the fact that your BM is pregnant take away from your wedding happiness or 2) celebrate that while YOU are experiencing one of life's great miracles, so is your BM by having the wonderful oppurtunity to carry her first child. The choice is yours, but I think there is only one logical option.

You need to set aside your views of "perfection" and realize that life has thrown your BM the miracle of a lifetime, just as you have been given a miracle by finding the love of your life and having the chance to get married in Disney World.

My sister struggled with infertillity for over 2 years. My wedding took place right in the middle of her stuggles. She always was hopeful that one of those months, it would work. When we went dress shopping, we had to have a plan B if one of her invitro procedures actually worked. I would have been the happiest "auntie" if she had the oppurtunity to be pregnant at my wedding. But, it wasn not in the cards for her. She continued to struggle. Thankfully, 6 months after my wedding, she did get pregnant and I am now the auntie of 2 beautiful twins!

Life has a wonderful way of working itself out, but please rethink your feelings and realize that a wedding photo with a pregnant woman is beautiful, not an inconvience. You said yourself that you are not usually like this and would normally never be the kind of person to let this bother you, well, take your own advise and trust who you are as a person and work on focusing your energy on something positive, like how to help your BM during this special time (making sure she had a seat at the wedding, etc).

Things will work out, but you need to focus your time on constructive things and enjoy your wedding planning. This time will go by very fast. Don't waste it on silly things that could only potentially hurt someone you love very much.

No flames intended for you, just wanted to offer some advise Best wishes for a beautiful wedding

 

[Bouncy bounce]

Hey just wanted to let you know I was in my Best friend's wedding back in august. Her sister ended up pregant after the dress was picked out and was 8mth at the time of the wedding.

Believe me we were all wondering how the dress would look. she was the matron of honor and wasnt having a different dress.. Now she looked really good in the dress. the alterations placed that the bridal shop in morristown, nj sent them to was amazing. It was a mermaid style dress i will add a picture below. Now they can do anything mine was ordered 3 sizes to small and they got mine to fit. All my measurements were right but because i'm a bigger girl and short they mermaid style was not right for my body so were the waist was sitting was were my hips should have been.

So everything will turn out fine. Dont worry this day is about you. not the bm dress.

This is the dress we had

This is how we looked

 

[Ashes711]

I understand your first reaction. Planning a wedding was the most stressful situation I have been through. Things that seem small to other people seem like the end of the world to the bride!

Hang in there!!!! Your pictures will turn out wonderful, and just think of how fun it will be to look back a couple years from now and see your cousin all pregnant! You can even show the new addition in your family the pics years from now!