How Would You Discipline?

[CamColt]

My DS who turns 7 this week lied to his teacher. It was a stupid lie but still. We donated 2 toys for a raffle that they are having at the Christmas Fair on Friday. After he gave them, the teacher was mentioning how next week when they have their party, there will be a grab. Then he asked if he would get one since he wont be there and the teacher said no, you wont be bringing one in either. He proceeded to tell her one of the raffle items he brought in was really for the grab(I had heard nothing about the grab up until now). His teacher called to verify they were for the raffle, so thats how I found out.
Part of me is embarrassed that he even asked if he would get a gift, but Im more mad that he lied to her. I cant think of a good punishment that will really bother him and make him realize how wrong lying is. Any ideas?

 

[Pete's Mom]

Make him donate one of his presents from under the tree!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Maybe make him write an apology note to the Teacher and have him explain why it's wrong to lie in the note. Will he be embarrassed that his teacher knew he lied?

 

[honeywolf7]

I was thinking make him give a present of his up, as well, but I would want to know why he lied. There's no excuse for lying, but at the same time if it was because he was feeling left out, I'd have a hard time punishing him as much as if it was just because he wanted more toys or something.

 

[MosMom]

Did he definitely know that both were for the raffle or did he think one could be for the grab? If you are sure he did lie on purpose, I would probably have him write a letter of apology to his teacher for lying and then have some sort of loss of privilege. We usually use loss of privilege and it works well but since kids are all different, that may not even effect your son. I've only caught Mo in a fib a few times and we had a talk about lying and I've always said that no matter what happens, the only thing that will guarantee she gets punished is lying. I think at their age, lying is somewhat a normal phase so I wouldn't feel too embarassed...I'm sure his teacher knows this too.

 

[CamColt]

The present thing is a good idea.
I did think of having him write "I will not lie" a bunch of times because he doesnt like writing, but I hate to use something educational/beneficial as a punishment. Jenn Lynn, I was thinking of having him apologize to the teacher, but maybe a letter would be better. That way Im not overdoing the writing part of it, but it still might get the message across. That might work.

MOs Mom, he never mentioned the grab to us and I dont know if he even knew about it before today, so Id say Im 99% sure he was lying.

 

[momsal]

I agree with mosmom I think it is something they go through at their age. ( not that they should get away with it)

My DGD (7) went through it and the thing that made her stop was if they caught her lying she could not come to my house

 

[disykat]

I'm usually the strictest parent on the block, but I think the punishment has already happened. Obviously you are not running out to buy a gift for the swap so he will be missing that. His teacher and you both know he lied and he knows you are disappointed in him. I think a talk with him about how serious it is, piling on a bunch of guilt, might be enough for a first offense. IMO sometimes stewing in their own juices is enough. Jumping in to punish sometimes turns it into a "I have to get caught to get in trouble" kind of deal.

As far as lies go - this sounds pretty typical of a seven year old. The teacher recognized it as such.

If he was a chronic liar, my advice would be different.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would sit down and have a talk about how that is wrong and have him write an apology to the teacher. Owning up to it to the teachers is punishment enough for me.

 

[Lewski709]

I think it's typical for the age. However, since the teacher took the time to tell you, I think it is important that the teacher feel respected by doing such. Your DS should do something so the teacher knows you addressed it with him. More so than not, the teacher wants to see that the parents get involved and discipline the child. She will respect you more as a parent if she is aware how/that you disciplined. Ignoring it won't stop it. I like having him write something on why it is wrong to lie.