WDW Poly Princess
Needs a Disney Fix
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2000
- Messages
- 4,873
I wrote this a few months ago when I was procrastinating actually working on my report, and the Trip Report Tips thread just reminded me of it. This is pretty much just me making fun of myself, and the crazynes I develop when I try to write 
Hopefully it will amuse someone other than me!
How To Write A Trip Report
1. Read a million trip reports on the boards long before your trip. Think about how much fun it will be to have a record of you trip, and how much you will love all of those people asking questions and telling you what a great writer/photographer/all around person you are, and how much you have inspired them.
2. Inspired now, start writing your pre-trip report, even though it is still two months before your trip. Add to it as you finish your planning.
3. Notice that your pre-trip report is now thirty-eight pages, seventeen of which are you trying to decide which resort you want. The Polynesian is on the monorail, which would be great because monorails are fun! But the All Stars are a lot cheaper! But I read on the boards that someone once found an empty cup under their bed there, and if something like that happened, my trip would be ruined! I just dont know what to do! This is all so stressful! Why cant there just be one perfect resort? Oh, what should I do? Will we hate the resort I picked? What if we dont find all of the hidden mickeys there? Will I get kicked off the DIS?
4. Rewrite your pre-trip report on the plane, giving your traveling partners funny nicknames, and cutting down the yammering about the resorts to fifteen pages, because seventeen is just too many.
5. Carefully detail what time your plane left, what snack you had, that the flight attendant reminded you of your cousin Sally, the name of the CM that checked you in to the resort, and what everyone ate for dinner. List all of the fantastic things you are going to do in the parks tomorrow, and how you are setting a wake-up call for 6am right now so you can get an early start. (Throw in a photo of your pet back home here, because you miss them, and they are SO cute, who wouldnt want to see them?)
6. Spend the first three days taking notes about what has been happening whenever you get a chance- during meals, bus rides, before bed. Stab family members in the hand with a fork if they reach for their food before you have photos of it to post to the Food Porn Thread.
7. By day 4, your notes dwindle down to Pirates, Tiki, JC, Pecos Bills- fries, funny thing in line, but you are sure that you will remember all of the details when you go to write, these are just to jog your memory anyway, right?
8. Days 5-7, totally forget to take notes, but snap a ton of photos to make up for it.
9. Day 8, fly home with plans to sit down and start your report tomorrow while you do your seventy loads of laundry.
10. Day 9, fall into severe post-Disney stress syndrome. This horrible condition is characterized by trying to hand your coworker three dollars when she offers you a soda, and standing with your hands under the sink faucet for ten minutes waiting for the water to come out automatically. This syndrome also makes your house much messier and smaller than when you left it, and your job much more boring and mind numbing.
11. Day 12, pull the memory cards out of your (as yet unpacked) suitcase, and pop them into the computer, hoping this will cure the Post Disney Depression that is now setting in. These finally remind you that you were going to write a report, so open up a blank word document, and start typing.
12. Write the first few days quickly, thankful that you took such good notes.
13. Pad out all of the stuff you dont remember with photos. And here is Tower of Terror, which we did next! (Or at least I think we did, since this is the next photo. Oh, I hope this is right! Wait, I need to say more about it than that! Hummm.. what else? This is a great ride, isnt it? Especially the drops! (Start thinking about that hilarious story you read on the theme parks board about someones first time on TOT, and that funny thing they said what was it? Why dont I have anything funny to say about the ride? We laughed, right? There has to be something funny I can say! Oh no! I am boring! Um, lets move on to the next ride, quick!) By Day 7, you are pretty much making things up.
14. Find the report finished. Write a witty and touching wrap-up about what a moving experience it was, and how you are changed now, and will never forget any of it.
15. Finally post it.
16. Find the thirty typos you missed and eight photos that arent working as soon as it is up, go back and edit, and push repost. Hope that not TOO many people saw this imperfect version.
17. Refresh the main trip reports page to see how many people have replied. Wonder why it is still at 0. Decide everyone hates you, gossips behind your back in PMs.
18. Refresh the page every three minutes for an hour, waiting for a reply to pop up. Go to bed drepressed.
19. Check for replies again first thing in the morning, sure that everyone read it overnight, and had rave reviews. Find that the number is still at 0. Start deciding which bridge to jump off of.
20. Check replies again at lunch, and find that there are two! Throw your arms up in the air, do a little dance, and reply to each one personally, thanking them for replying, and telling them how saying Good report! really touched you deeply. Reread over the replies eight times. Think about how nice those people are. Start wondering when Delswife will call you up to be her new best friend.
21. Wonder why a week later, your report is down on page two, and only has a total of four replies. Shamelessly bump it up, in case people just missed it.
22. Glare suspiciously at all of those writers with dozens of replies, and wonder how much they are paying their readers to say such nice things. Wonder how much you can budget for this, and if it is too late for bribery.
23. Gradually forget about it all.
24. Start planning next trip, and in the process, start reading a ton of old trip reports. Find in the process that there are sixteen new replies you never saw.
25. Start writing forty-page pre-trip report for upcoming trip, daydreaming about the fabulous notes you will take, how you will capture the spirit of the place in words, and how this time, you will become a famous trip report writer, land a book deal, and spend your Sunday afternoons trading writing tips with Zzub and JoeDisney over scones at the Grand Floridian.
Hopefully it will amuse someone other than me!How To Write A Trip Report
1. Read a million trip reports on the boards long before your trip. Think about how much fun it will be to have a record of you trip, and how much you will love all of those people asking questions and telling you what a great writer/photographer/all around person you are, and how much you have inspired them.
2. Inspired now, start writing your pre-trip report, even though it is still two months before your trip. Add to it as you finish your planning.
3. Notice that your pre-trip report is now thirty-eight pages, seventeen of which are you trying to decide which resort you want. The Polynesian is on the monorail, which would be great because monorails are fun! But the All Stars are a lot cheaper! But I read on the boards that someone once found an empty cup under their bed there, and if something like that happened, my trip would be ruined! I just dont know what to do! This is all so stressful! Why cant there just be one perfect resort? Oh, what should I do? Will we hate the resort I picked? What if we dont find all of the hidden mickeys there? Will I get kicked off the DIS?
4. Rewrite your pre-trip report on the plane, giving your traveling partners funny nicknames, and cutting down the yammering about the resorts to fifteen pages, because seventeen is just too many.
5. Carefully detail what time your plane left, what snack you had, that the flight attendant reminded you of your cousin Sally, the name of the CM that checked you in to the resort, and what everyone ate for dinner. List all of the fantastic things you are going to do in the parks tomorrow, and how you are setting a wake-up call for 6am right now so you can get an early start. (Throw in a photo of your pet back home here, because you miss them, and they are SO cute, who wouldnt want to see them?)
6. Spend the first three days taking notes about what has been happening whenever you get a chance- during meals, bus rides, before bed. Stab family members in the hand with a fork if they reach for their food before you have photos of it to post to the Food Porn Thread.
7. By day 4, your notes dwindle down to Pirates, Tiki, JC, Pecos Bills- fries, funny thing in line, but you are sure that you will remember all of the details when you go to write, these are just to jog your memory anyway, right?
8. Days 5-7, totally forget to take notes, but snap a ton of photos to make up for it.
9. Day 8, fly home with plans to sit down and start your report tomorrow while you do your seventy loads of laundry.
10. Day 9, fall into severe post-Disney stress syndrome. This horrible condition is characterized by trying to hand your coworker three dollars when she offers you a soda, and standing with your hands under the sink faucet for ten minutes waiting for the water to come out automatically. This syndrome also makes your house much messier and smaller than when you left it, and your job much more boring and mind numbing.
11. Day 12, pull the memory cards out of your (as yet unpacked) suitcase, and pop them into the computer, hoping this will cure the Post Disney Depression that is now setting in. These finally remind you that you were going to write a report, so open up a blank word document, and start typing.
12. Write the first few days quickly, thankful that you took such good notes.
13. Pad out all of the stuff you dont remember with photos. And here is Tower of Terror, which we did next! (Or at least I think we did, since this is the next photo. Oh, I hope this is right! Wait, I need to say more about it than that! Hummm.. what else? This is a great ride, isnt it? Especially the drops! (Start thinking about that hilarious story you read on the theme parks board about someones first time on TOT, and that funny thing they said what was it? Why dont I have anything funny to say about the ride? We laughed, right? There has to be something funny I can say! Oh no! I am boring! Um, lets move on to the next ride, quick!) By Day 7, you are pretty much making things up.
14. Find the report finished. Write a witty and touching wrap-up about what a moving experience it was, and how you are changed now, and will never forget any of it.
15. Finally post it.
16. Find the thirty typos you missed and eight photos that arent working as soon as it is up, go back and edit, and push repost. Hope that not TOO many people saw this imperfect version.
17. Refresh the main trip reports page to see how many people have replied. Wonder why it is still at 0. Decide everyone hates you, gossips behind your back in PMs.
18. Refresh the page every three minutes for an hour, waiting for a reply to pop up. Go to bed drepressed.
19. Check for replies again first thing in the morning, sure that everyone read it overnight, and had rave reviews. Find that the number is still at 0. Start deciding which bridge to jump off of.
20. Check replies again at lunch, and find that there are two! Throw your arms up in the air, do a little dance, and reply to each one personally, thanking them for replying, and telling them how saying Good report! really touched you deeply. Reread over the replies eight times. Think about how nice those people are. Start wondering when Delswife will call you up to be her new best friend.
21. Wonder why a week later, your report is down on page two, and only has a total of four replies. Shamelessly bump it up, in case people just missed it.
22. Glare suspiciously at all of those writers with dozens of replies, and wonder how much they are paying their readers to say such nice things. Wonder how much you can budget for this, and if it is too late for bribery.
23. Gradually forget about it all.
24. Start planning next trip, and in the process, start reading a ton of old trip reports. Find in the process that there are sixteen new replies you never saw.
25. Start writing forty-page pre-trip report for upcoming trip, daydreaming about the fabulous notes you will take, how you will capture the spirit of the place in words, and how this time, you will become a famous trip report writer, land a book deal, and spend your Sunday afternoons trading writing tips with Zzub and JoeDisney over scones at the Grand Floridian.
Maybe I'll follow your plan for our trip in May! 
I love the way you write.
