How to stop predjudicial talk in 8 y.o.?

6_Time_Momma

<font color=blue>Still crazy after all these years
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My mom was telling me that my niece (the one they are now raising) has been talking bad about Mexicans. Things like "That was probably a Mexican driving!" when a car swerved a little towards them or "Did you go to a big restaurant and eat and party like the Mexicans do?"

I'm sure she's only aping the things she has heard, but she obviously needs to learn. My mom has tried the talk about "everyone's the same" and has told her that Aunt Kristy (me) would be hurt to hear her talk like that as her cousins (my kids) are half Mexican. She says that she doesn't say it to hurt people. But, how to make her understand that those word's can hurt people. She blurts without thinking.

Any thoughts on how better to sink the idea into her?
 
How old is she? It's tuff unlearning things as a child. I would think a stern stop saying that should work over time. The one thing to be careful about is...if this child is starved for attention...before your Mom got her. She may welcome any attention.
 
She's got to be repeating what she's heard someone else say. Doesn't sound like something an 8yr old would come up with on her own.
 
When DS9 says things that are inappropriate I ask him "Why would you say that?" Maybe have your mom ask her "What makes you think that Mexicans aren't good drivers? Who do you know that is Mexican and doesn't drive safely?" When you make the child explain WHY they are saying things it sometimes helps them see they really have no reason to say them.
 

i would also monitor what she's watching on t.v.. i've noticed that some t.v. shows are doing "self-efacing" (sorry unsure of the spelling) humor-wherein a minority character or a person of size or disability cracks jokes about themselves or others who share similar traits. these jokes are often in very bad taste and i find them offensive coming from anyone's mouth. in fact-i am to a point where i will likely stop watching the "george lopez" show alltogether because of the jokes he makes about himself and others in the hispanic culture-while i understand that sometimes bringing a topic up humerously can lead to discussion i don't believe that enough parents take the time to have those discussions with their kids and the kids just come to think that it's o.k. to make inappropriate remarks if they're meant good naturedly (in my opinion a predjudicial or raciest remark in never funny in any circumstance).

i tend to think this little girl is hearing this somewhere-the comment about drivers sounds like something she has overheard said by a driver of a car she's in-the restaurant comment just sounds like an ignorant sterotype.
 
I would also try to figure out why she is saying these things. What I wouldn't do it to blow it too far out of proportion. I would correct her, but gently and lovingly. She's likely repeating something that she's heard, been told, or saw on tv and if they know where she's heard it they can limit her exposure.
 
I think after discussing it with her nicely a few times your Mom is going to have to get tough and sternly tell her we do not say things like that and I will not allow you to. She is very young and can unlearn that sort of things but I'd lay down the law before it got too much more ingrained.
 
jackskellingtonsgirl said:
When DS9 says things that are inappropriate I ask him "Why would you say that?" Maybe have your mom ask her "What makes you think that Mexicans aren't good drivers? Who do you know that is Mexican and doesn't drive safely?" When you make the child explain WHY they are saying things it sometimes helps them see they really have no reason to say them.

I absolutely agree! :thumbsup2
Most of the times kids are just "parroting" something they heard. But when they realize that what they are saying really isn't based in truth or that it is hurtful to people, which I'm sure she doesn't even realize, most likely she will stop.
 
Many ways to stop it but you have to get to the bottom of it in this case.
That is very odd for a child of 8 to say.

Best thing to do is to sit her down and ask her to explain herself. Once she examines what is coming out of her mouth she will start to "get it".
 












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