How to say "No" to your father??

[Silverbelle990]

OK, here is the scene. My dh and i are taking my son to disney for his first trip. We want ot stay at the movies and have the complete disney expeirance.

The Offer: My father is offering for us to stay a condo with im his girlfriend and my grandmother. We would all do our own seperate things.

My dh and i don't want to but i am afraid to tell him no. I have never been able to when i was little and still have trouble. How do i let him down??

 

[chobie]

Can you lie? Say you you already paid for the room and it is non-refundable? Or just say that your son's heart is set at staying on site and you can't do that to him. It is more fun staying on-site, btw.

 

[2goofykids]

I would do what chobie suggested. Either say you have already paid or say that you have already told your ds all about the hotel and he would be really disappointed if you didn't stay there. The movies is really cool for kids esp. if they like toy story. My ds really loved it when we stayed there. Good luck!

 

[MomofCKJ]

I would not lie, I would just simply thank him for the offer but explain that for your son's first time you and your husband want to have the full Disney experience of being onsite. Maybe suggest making dinner plans to all eat together one night?

Allyson

 

[PaulaSue]

You can tell him this crazy lady (and 3 girls) on Dis is going to stay with them instead.

I WISH.

Good Luck telling him no. I have a hard time with my dad too.

 

[Silverbelle990]

The trip is a christmas present for my son, so we can't tell him that ds wants to stay there, and He asked if we booked the trip yet and i said no beofr he offered the condo.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

 

[indigoxtreme]

Dad, thanks for the invitation, but, we would really like to take your grandson and stay onsite, so he can have his 1st WDW trip with all the Disney things around him. We can have the convenience of being able to go back to the resort to let him rest for nap time or a quick swim. We really want to do this.

 

[daisyduck123]

Can you lie? Say you you already paid for the room and it is non-refundable?

I was going to suggest the EXACT same thing & then I read your post!!!

 

[Silverbelle990]

Sounds good all, I'll let you know what happened after i tell him. Thank all!!!!!!

 

[graciespeaks]

You could do like I usually do...Blame DH...say he's always wanted to stay on site, and with the free transportation and free delivery to your room on purchases, I am sure thats true!!

 

[graciespeaks]

OR
My DH doesn't like to share space (neither do I), we always get our own room for the few, and I mean few, trips we have been on with our families.
I have simply said "DH likes to have his own space, thats just how he is" I laugh and then say so we will just get our own room.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Blame DH, i always do when it comes to having to say no to my dad i find it so hard to say no to my dad!! he's GREAT!

 

[Silverbelle990]

At least i am not the only one who can say no to her dad!!!

But i Think...unless someone posts something better.....that i will blame DH!!!! He should love that!!!

 

[Zoemakes5]

I think this would be a good chance to take a "little step" in learning to say no to your dad. I know I've had to be much more assertive with my parents since having kids. If my experience is anything to judge by, you'll have more of these kinds of situations, and some of them may be much "bigger" than where you'll stay at WDW. Good to set some groundwork now. And, honestly, what begins as good intentioned suggestions early on can turn into your parents believing they have a right to participate in parenting decisions. If you don't have the framework to deal with the conflict (or prevent it in the first place) dealing with something bigger can be daunting.
I learned long ago that the sandwich approach works really well. First something good, then the bad, sandwiched with something else good or to look forward to. I'd say, "Dad, we REALLY appreciate your offer. It is so very generous and we gave it alot of thought. But, we both really feel that for DS's first trip to WDW we want to have the total Disney experience by staying onsite and being able to go back and forth so easily and watching his face with all of the excitement." Then, you can add this kind of language, if it's appropriate...."we know you want to be a part of DS's first trip, how 'bout if you guys stay at the condo and we can meet up?" or "let's put our next trip on the calender right now and we can all stay in the condo together, we'll get non-expiry tickets this time so we can go again later" or something similar.
That way you're being honest (you do want to stay on site with DS for his first trip) without being mean.

 

[Leigha]

I agree with Zoemakes5! Sandwich it in between the good. Tell the truth in that only reason you want to do this is because you feel like it would be best for the grandson. He'll want what's best for him too! I'd end it with the room rate for All Stars and tell him you'd be happy to book the room for him - if that's true! You'll feel better once you're done (by phone if you're like me!!) and the next hurdle will be easier when you have to stand up for yourself again. I have a feeling you'll hate yourself if you don't do this!!

 

[Silverbelle990]

You all are so great. I am going to have to stand up for myself and my family but it is really hard. I guess i have to take a deep breath and tell him nicely.

Thank you all. I hope i can muster up some courage soon!!!