How to keep the seat next to you free :)

[Marlea98]

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/how-to-keep-the-seat-next-to-you-free/story-e6frf7jo-1226528669783


THERE'S one huge thing wrong will all types of public transport. Other passengers.


We've all been there. You have your perfect seat and the bus keeps filling up. As each passenger gets on you pretend you don’t see them, don’t make eye contact. Inside your head a small voice says “stay away”.

As public transport gets more and more crammed some people have come up with inventive ways of keeping other passengers away. They are not very nice. But here they are thanks to travel website Gadling.

Tell us below - how do you keep the seat next to you free?

1) Spread your stuff out. This one doesn’t work for long but it will mean you are the last seat to be picked. No-one likes the hassle of asking you to move everything.

2) Make the seat seem smaller. Spread your legs out wide (obviously this one is easier for blokes), put the armrest up. Make that seat look as unappealing as possible.

3) Try to look crazy. Practice in a mirror. Roll your eyes, drool. No one wants to sit next to the crazy person.

4) Be a god basher. Bring a bible. Sit it in your lap. When someone asks if the seat next to you is free ask them if they’ve accepted the Lord as their Saviour.

5) Get funky. Drop a few farts, go for a run in the morning and don’t wear deodorant. Carry a bag with really stinky cheese.

6) Carry a spew bag, a box of incontinence pads or an adult nappy.

7) Play bad music loudly through oversized earphones. Gadling recommends “I touch myself” by the Divinyl's for men and Richard Marx’s “I will be right here waiting for you” for women.

If all the above fail to work then court a seat mate who is attractive. Pick out someone you like and ask them to sit down. You never know, it could lead to something.
Not having the need to catch public transport I do like the idea of carrying a puke bag

 

[5ofus]

I totally disagree with the first one! I take great pleasure in making spread-out people move their stuff. My trains are usually packed after three stations anyway, so I think it's incredibly rude of them in the firs place.

The best way I ever heard was on QI one night: make eye contact with a big, creepy grin and pat the seat next to you. THAT s the bet way to keep the seat next to you empty!

 

[BecBennett]

The best way I ever heard was on QI one night: make eye contact with a big, creepy grin and pat the seat next to you. THAT s the bet way to keep the seat next to you empty!

That's a good one! I was always a fan of sitting on the aisle seat and not making eye contact, and putting my handbag on the window seat.

Usually worked, but when the bus filled up I'd move, it's not nice to have to stand instead of someone making a little space for you.

 

[australiankaren]

i find after I get a number 2 haircut people dont want to sit next to me.....its not that i look mean or anything

 

[Marlea98]

Nah, AustralianKaren, it's because you are a library patron and everyone knows why people don't want to sit next to library patrons at parties