How to deal with unruly children

[NOLAminnie]

Of course we all know that disney is a family place, inevitably there will be lots of kids, some will misbehave, that's just something you have to deal with. Most of the time you can just walk away or try and tune it out. But it there a way to deal with a situation if you are trying to enjoy a show or a meal if the child next to you is acting obnoxious or won't shut up and the parent isn't doing anything about it. I don't have kids and and I don't want to offend anyone, but I feel like there are some situations where this kind of behavior is unbearable. Any advice?

 

[disneyholic family]

Of course we all know that disney is a family place, inevitably there will be lots of kids, some will misbehave, that's just something you have to deal with. Most of the time you can just walk away or try and tune it out. But it there a way to deal with a situation if you are trying to enjoy a show or a meal if the child next to you is acting obnoxious or won't shut up and the parent isn't doing anything about it. I don't have kids and and I don't want to offend anyone, but I feel like there are some situations where this kind of behavior is unbearable. Any advice?

i can feel your pain....i know EXACTLY what you're talking about...
unfortunately i have no advice.......
I do have kids, but i'm just as clueless when it comes to that sort of behavior -- the child's behavior and the parents lack of intervention (which ticks me off even more)...

to be honest, i don't think there is anything you can do.....the kind of parents who let their kids run around a restaurant or even sit in their place but bother the person at the next table, aren't typically the kind of parents who will accept any sort of criticism or intervention on the part of another person....

so i think my advice would be, grin and bear it...if you speak up, they'll probably want to punch you out...

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

to be honest, i don't think there is anything you can do...

I completely disagree. Of course there is something you can do. Start by politely asking the child (if old enough ) to please speak more quietly, or in the case of a show, to not speak until the end, or to stop kicking your chair, or whatever they are doing. If they are too young or you get no response, then ask the parent. Do it NICELY.

If that doesn't help, complain to your waiter or ask to be moved. No action, ask to speak to the manager.

You have every right to enjoy yourself without putting up with a misbehaving child (or even adult!)

 

[abbie13_15]

I agree with cyberspace. If you are eating at a restaurant tell your waitress to do something about it. If it is bothering you then it is probably bothering the others around you as well. Let them deal with the problem, you shouldn't have to. They want to make their customers happy so they will more than likely fix your problem. Although if you are in a show or something, I think you would just have to take it. There is really nothing that you will be able to do about it. Like you said you are at Disney, a family place.

 

[maddhatir]

You can do EXACTLY what i always do--- just look at DH and roll your eyes.

it does not defuse the situation but thats the best i got!!

 

[Twingle]

This can be a tricky situation, especially in this day and age. You may be near a child that is being loud and the parent is not doing anything. If you say something to the child, the parent may get angry with you. If you say something to the parent, they may get angry with you. You can say something to the waiter/manager, but let's face it: sometimes in Disney things are so packed you just can't go anywhere else.

Whatever you decide to do, try to be nice about it to begin with. Something that has worked both on my children and with strangers children is humor. My son had gotten into the habit of screeching very loudly whenever he wanted my attention and I was speaking with another adult. Telling him that wasn't allowed didn't get me anywhere - he now had my attention since I was telling him he couldn't make that god-awful sound. What DID work was telling him that since he was apparently on fire, and that was why he was making that god-awful noise, to please go put himself out and I'd talk to him when he was finished. Made him laugh every time, and allowed me to finish whatever it was I was doing. I HAVE said this to two children I didn't know, and it did make them laugh. Both sets of parents have told me I was a genius, and again, because I said it in a nice, polite way, I didn't have anyone yelling at me.

Whenever there is a child near me that is being extremely unruly, and the parents aren't paying attention, and everyone around us is miserable because of the unruly child, usually my husband will say "Remember when our child did that, and one of us would just have to take them and leave?" Again, said in a nice way, not a "!!**&&%%!!! Get that rug monkey OUT OF HERE !!***&&%%$$!!" way. MOST parents are mortified that their child is being so obnoxious, but you still have the few that figure they paid a lot of money for their trip and junior can make everyone else just as miserable as he makes his parents.

In any event, hopefully this won't happen, and if it does, maybe you can find some humor in the situation. Even if it's just thanking god that child does not belong to you!

 

[grimley1968]

I completely disagree. Of course there is something you can do. Start by politely asking the child (if old enough ) to please speak more quietly, or in the case of a show, to not speak until the end, or to stop kicking your chair, or whatever they are doing. If they are too young or you get no response, then ask the parent. Do it NICELY.

If that doesn't help, complain to your waiter or ask to be moved. No action, ask to speak to the manager.

You have every right to enjoy yourself without putting up with a misbehaving child (or even adult!)

I agree, and I'm a parent who has kids that do the misbehaving at times. But if my kids are adversely impacting someone else's enjoyment of WDW, I have no problems with others politely asking my kids to stop the offending behavior. Hopefully, I'll get my kids to stop first, but if I don't, then I don't begrudge anyone the right to defend their own right to a pleasant vacation. Speaking for myself, I've never had a problem asking other kids who step over behavioral lines to cease what they're doing if it's impacting my family.

 

[Hannathy]

I have often found just giving the offender my sternest "teacher" look with the eyes can stop some kids. I have also said something to the kid if it was really bothering me ie. kicking seat, talking, pulling plants out of the ground! Saw that happening and parents were right there - I didn't care I told kid to stop it. Parent just huffed away with child and I replanted the plants.

 

[mommyintn]

I've got some younger cousins (who are still in elementary school) and they are wild when they are with their parents (who let them get away with anything) but if someone else asks them to stop or tells them what they need to do they have no problem obeying. Most of the times kids are begging for boundaries that the adults won't set for them.

 

[spiceycat]

What DID work was telling him that since he was apparently on fire, and that was why he was making that god-awful noise, to please go put himself out and I'd talk to him when he was finished. Made him laugh every time, and allowed me to finish whatever it was I was doing. I HAVE said this to two children I didn't know, and it did make them laugh. Both sets of parents have told me I was a genius, and again, because I said it in a nice, polite way, I didn't have anyone yelling at me.

you are a genius - can I use this.....

 

[maddhatir]

one time on the disney bus there was a little girl who kept turning around to DH and I...and showing us something or doing something that was annoying us-- cant remember which.... but..... my DH would talk to her when she turned around to us- so of course, she would turn around again and again-- mom not saying anything to her at all.......

me not being a "kid person" whispered to DH-- "well maybe if you stop talking to her-- she will go away!"

 

[disneyholic family]

one time on the disney bus there was a little girl who kept turning around to DH and I...and showing us something or doing something that was annoying us-- cant remember which.... but..... my DH would talk to her when she turned around to us- so of course, she would turn around again and again-- mom not saying anything to her at all.......

me not being a "kid person" whispered to DH-- "well maybe if you stop talking to her-- she will go away!"

my mom talks to all children....it drives me up a wall....especially in a restaurant where encouraging kids who are wandering around is the worst kind of reinforcement....
the other day i told her if she speaks to the little 2 year old who was totally wandering unsupervised around the restaurant, i would get up and leave....she didn't talk to her, but i could see she was struggling not to...

as for what you can do about kids like these....i totally disagree with the people who say you can talk to the parents about it....any parent who lets their little prince or princess wander a restaurant isn't looking for advice...

i agree with the person who does the eyeroll....we do lots of eyerolling..

although, my daughter likes to take a much more active approach.....no doubt, the flames will fly after this one.....

on our last wonder cruise, in one of the big shows, there was a little boy (about 8 years old), who was sitting behind my 21 year old daughter......he either kicked her chair, leaned up against her chair while holding his drink over her, or bounced against the chair.......non-stop doing something....
so first she tried the civilized approach...
first she quietly asked him to stop...
nothing..
then she quietly asked his mother....
still nothing....it just kept on without stop into the show...
so in the middle of the show my daughter took action...

she had been leaning forward to avoid his big drink, but then she leaned hard back in her seat, so the kid got hit by the back of her chair (that he was leaning up against)....he wasn't hurt badly, just bumped....but he started crying and finally sat back in his chair for the rest of the show.....victory.....

i would never have the nerve nor the ill will to do that to a kid, but she did....
and the misbehavior definitely stopped...so i suppose you could try that approach....

let the flaming begin!

 

[dolphindan1]

No flames here....I have 2 boys and if one acted like that and I did nothing as long as he was not severly hurt I would tell him thats what you get for acting like that...BUT I would never knowingly let my child act like that....I am first to straighten them cause lets face it there not angels as much as I like to think they are....especially the younger one....little devil he is...the oldest is shy and polite...If I had a problem with a unruly kid I would say something to the parent 1st, then the kid...Its the parents responsibility 1st to resolve the problem and I know from experience parents zone out at Disney from being tired and really dont realize whats happening...Then I would say something to the child in a kind manner and explain why thats not nice behavior...

 

[Taja]

Not being a parent makes me an expert, of course!

Quite honestly, when children misbehave and parents don't correct the behavior in public, they seem to tune it out or just accept it as normal. Perhaps it is. To them. To those of us who expect reasonably civilized behavior, it's another story.

I've been known to politely ask a child to stop kicking my seat (bouncing in booth, etc.). If they don't respond and continue the behavior, I bring it to the parents' attention. If they accept this as normal behavior, I notify wait staff/flight attendents/managers and ask them to rectify the situation by moving me or the child.

WDW is for everyone, including children and solo adults. Expect meltdowns--it's an overwhelming experience and many parents tend to push their children to get the most experience for their money. Most children are pretty well behaved at WDW (now, stores and other places at home can be a completely different story!) and I rarely do anything other than have a quiet conversation with a child--and hopefully make them smile.

Sometimes, just a bit of quiet attention will diffuse the situation. Then again, sometimes not!

 

[java]

Just curious- how do you handle the many unruly adults? I have seen more adults acting poorly than children when I am in WDW(you know the parent that is insisting his child has to be up front to see a parade- even though you and your children have been waiting for 30 minutes already- or the cursing adults- my kids and I heard Bull**** on our last trip more than I care to recall- or the ones that don't understand why they can't just walk up to a restaurant and get a table and then throw a fit in front of everyone.)...hmmm guess it is all a matter of perception on which is worse. I just think that adults do know better. And if a kid is out of control and the parents are doing nothing- again the parents should be stepping up and handling it. We have had more people send us desserts and drinks on our trips with the "your children are so well behaved" comments. That positive reinforcment goes a long way with my children.
Let's hope everyone-- adults and children use their manners whenever they are in public.

 

[melomouse]

This can be a tricky situation, especially in this day and age. You may be near a child that is being loud and the parent is not doing anything. If you say something to the child, the parent may get angry with you. If you say something to the parent, they may get angry with you. You can say something to the waiter/manager, but let's face it: sometimes in Disney things are so packed you just can't go anywhere else.

Whatever you decide to do, try to be nice about it to begin with. Something that has worked both on my children and with strangers children is humor. My son had gotten into the habit of screeching very loudly whenever he wanted my attention and I was speaking with another adult. Telling him that wasn't allowed didn't get me anywhere - he now had my attention since I was telling him he couldn't make that god-awful sound. What DID work was telling him that since he was apparently on fire, and that was why he was making that god-awful noise, to please go put himself out and I'd talk to him when he was finished. Made him laugh every time, and allowed me to finish whatever it was I was doing. I HAVE said this to two children I didn't know, and it did make them laugh. Both sets of parents have told me I was a genius, and again, because I said it in a nice, polite way, I didn't have anyone yelling at me.

Whenever there is a child near me that is being extremely unruly, and the parents aren't paying attention, and everyone around us is miserable because of the unruly child, usually my husband will say "Remember when our child did that, and one of us would just have to take them and leave?" Again, said in a nice way, not a "!!**&&%%!!! Get that rug monkey OUT OF HERE !!***&&%%$$!!" way. MOST parents are mortified that their child is being so obnoxious, but you still have the few that figure they paid a lot of money for their trip and junior can make everyone else just as miserable as he makes his parents.

In any event, hopefully this won't happen, and if it does, maybe you can find some humor in the situation. Even if it's just thanking god that child does not belong to you!

Twingle - I wish everyone had your style!! You sound like a wonderful person!

 

[LindaR]

I remember a couple of years ago, we were in line in Pecos Bill's for lunch. There was a little girl about 4 who was having a total meltdown and her mom who was having a BIGGER meltdown. She grabbed her daughter and shook her so hard and was cussing at her. That only made the little girl react more. She started screaming and jumping up and down. She jumped, landed on my ingrown big toenail (I CANNOT tell you how much that hurt - toenail turned black and came off a few days later) and the look of fear on her face was sad. Her mother witnessed this and did not apologize. I looked at the mom and said, "I think YOU need to go into time-out!" This caused the little one to stop her fit and she almost smiled and the mom just took a deep breath and kept HER mouth shut.

I try very hard to use humor to deal with situations in life!

 

[spiceycat]

Just curious- how do you handle the many unruly adults? I have seen more adults acting poorly than children when I am in WDW(you know the parent that is insisting his child has to be up front to see a parade- even though you and your children have been waiting for 30 minutes already- or the cursing adults- my kids and I heard Bull**** on our last trip more than I care to recall- or the ones that don't understand why they can't just walk up to a restaurant and get a table and then throw a fit in front of everyone.)...hmmm guess it is all a matter of perception on which is worse. I just think that adults do know better. And if a kid is out of control and the parents are doing nothing- again the parents should be stepping up and handling it. We have had more people send us desserts and drinks on our trips with the "your children are so well behaved" comments. That positive reinforcment goes a long way with my children.
Let's hope everyone-- adults and children use their manners whenever they are in public.

I agreed some adults are far worst than kids could ever be.....

there are actually still people who go to WDW without doing their research. they don't understand that WDW without research will drive you crazy fast.

some adults need to be on mediciation worst than children....

of course if that didn't work before - they won't be doing it now....

 

[MouseWorshipin]

A little boy in a WDW restaurant kept walking around banging other people's tables with his stick, which his parents thought was cute, judging by their smiles.

I told him not to bang our table, he did, and I got up, took his hand, and led him back to his table, picked him up, sat him in his chair, and said, "Do not bang my table again!"

I never looked at the parents, so I don't know if they were angry or not. But the kid stayed at his own table after that.

 

[disneyholic family]

A little boy in a WDW restaurant kept walking around banging other people's tables with his stick, which his parents thought was cute, judging by their smiles.

I told him not to bang our table, he did, and I got up, took his hand, and led him back to his table, picked him up, sat him in his chair, and said, "Do not bang my table again!"

I never looked at the parents, so I don't know if they were angry or not. But the kid stayed at his own table after that.

Bravo. You deserve the medal for bravery under fire. I wouldn't have the guts to do that.