How soon is too soon...

[Loves Disney]

...to consider a boyfriend marriage material?

I have been dating my boyfriend for close to 4 months now and I feel as though he is someone I can see myself marrying. Does this make me a crazy girlfriend still caught in the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship? I'm 22 and I don't plan on getting married for a while - I don't even plan on being engaged for a while (side note: I'm against long engagements...the day I get engaged is the day I start planning my wedding hahah, I'm the type of girl who has been planning my wedding since I knew what weddings are lol ). But hearing my friends talk, they tell me I shouldn't feel like I've found "the one" until after a year of dating. They talk to me about the relationship "cycle;" however, listening to this cycle, I feel as though my boyfriend and I have been through most of it. Also, I've had my fair share of boyfriends in the past and I've been through my fair share of heart-break. Needless to say, I've since developed a very intense criteria of what I'm looking for and this boy of mine, well, he's got it. Thinking through logically, we share the same opinions on what's most important. We share the same values in life and in the relationship. Any differences we have rest in petty things like taste in music. Other differences actually complement each other - he has a great sense of direction and he is better at finances than I am lol. I'm great at planning things and keeping to a schedule whereas he is a bit more flowing. Also, everyone gets along. Friends, family, the whole bunch.

The way he talks, it's clear he feels this way. He talks in long term (which is great!) and he tells me how he wants to spend "forever" with me. I don't say these things back because I'm scared it's still too early in the relationship. I mean, I certainly think these things, but I don't want to overstep any boundaries. What do you guys think? Should I continue to step back for a little while or should I just return my feelings for him? Is it too soon to be having conversations like these?


ETA: He's totally cool with the idea of getting married in Disney A definite plus with me! lol

 

[JCJRSmith]

I met SWMBO in January and by May I had decided to propose. Just needed the right time (and to buy a ring). I proposed in July and we were married in November. That was 22 years ago.

Sometimes, you just know.

 

[npmommie]

He could be the one.

I married my dh 7 months after meeting him. we have been married for almost 24 years now

 

[Piglets Mommy]

...to consider a boyfriend marriage material?

I have been dating my boyfriend for close to 4 months now and I feel as though he is someone I can see myself marrying. Does this make me a crazy girlfriend still caught in the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship? I'm 22 and I don't plan on getting married for a while - I don't even plan on being engaged for a while (side note: I'm against long engagements...the day I get engaged is the day I start planning my wedding hahah, I'm the type of girl who has been planning my wedding since I knew what weddings are lol ). But hearing my friends talk, they tell me I shouldn't feel like I've found "the one" until after a year of dating. They talk to me about the relationship "cycle;" however, listening to this cycle, I feel as though my boyfriend and I have been through most of it. Also, I've had my fair share of boyfriends in the past and I've been through my fair share of heart-break. Needless to say, I've since developed a very intense criteria of what I'm looking for and this boy of mine, well, he's got it. Thinking through logically, we share the same opinions on what's most important. We share the same values in life and in the relationship. Any differences we have rest in petty things like taste in music. Other differences actually complement each other - he has a great sense of direction and he is better at finances than I am lol. I'm great at planning things and keeping to a schedule whereas he is a bit more flowing. Also, everyone gets along. Friends, family, the whole bunch.

The way he talks, it's clear he feels this way. He talks in long term (which is great!) and he tells me how he wants to spend "forever" with me. I don't say these things back because I'm scared it's still too early in the relationship. I mean, I certainly think these things, but I don't want to overstep any boundaries. What do you guys think? Should I continue to step back for a little while or should I just return my feelings for him? Is it too soon to be having conversations like these?


ETA: He's totally cool with the idea of getting married in Disney A definite plus with me! lol

I knew DH was "The One" pretty early on in the relationship too...around 4-5 months like you. He felt the same way, and were always talking about the future. We had both been in serious relationships before, so that made a difference, I think too. We "knew" pretty early on that we were the one for each other, got engaged after a year, and married after a little over 2. We will have been married 14 years in June. Good luck to you!

ETA: The fact that your BF loves Disney and would get married there is a plus, too!

 

[SaraJayne]

I say go for it. You usually know pretty quickly whether it's the right person for you or not.

Dh and I were engaged after 7 weeks of dating (we were both 21) and married 4 months after that.

ETA: We'll be married 14 years this year.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

DH and I were married 9 months to the day we met. I moved in with him about 2 weeks after we met. We just clicked, we wanted the same things in life, we shared the same values, and that was that.

 

[LuLuO]

I knew I wanted to marry my DH after three dates. Crazy I know. But I had been married before to a real jerk and had been on my own for over 3 years so I knew he was a good catch right away. After a few months we started talking about me moving in with him. He proposed on our 1 year dating anniversary and we were married six months later.

 

[NewCrew42]

Hmmm.... DH and I went on our first date Dec. 8. He proprosed on Jan. 8. We were married on June 8.

This coming June we will have been married for 20 years.

 

[Loves Disney]

Thank you all for such quick responses!! You guys are making me feel 100 times better about this. I have a feeling I've known he was marriage material for a little while now and only recently started outwardly admitting it to myself. I guess I've just been conditioned to believe that there's a time line to follow. It's extremely nice to hear that most of you knew very early on and pursued the feelings into long, happy marriages!!

 

[marciemi]

I met my DH on a Saturday when I was 19. By the following Tuesday, I'd told my friends I planned to marry him. We were in touch briefly over the next few months and started dating about 5 months later. Engaged 2 years after that, married 2 years later, and 23 years later, we're still here!

You don't need to marry him next week or anything, but certainly not to early to think about it! Especially if he'll get married at Disney!

 

[MIGrandma]

DH and I met March 5, 1975. We were engaged in May, married in September of that same year. We celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary this past September. We were both 18 when we got married, and many people said "it wouldn't last."

I've known people who had short courtships and long courtships stay married many years. And I've known people who had short courtships and long courtships who ended up in divorce a few years later. I don't think the length of time determines whether or not a marriage will survive. It's love and commitment and compromise and trust, things like that. Only you and your boyfriend can decide if you want to get married or not, and how long you want to date before you become engaged.

 

[Loves Disney]

I met my DH on a Saturday when I was 19. By the following Tuesday, I'd told my friends I planned to marry him. We were in touch briefly over the next few months and started dating about 5 months later. Engaged 2 years after that, married 2 years later, and 23 years later, we're still here!

You don't need to marry him next week or anything, but certainly not to early to think about it! Especially if he'll get married at Disney!

The minute he told me that getting married in Disney is something he would do, I thought "Yup, he's a keeper!" Now, I just need to convert him into a Disney-loving fanatic much like myself and we're all set

 

[Liberty Belle]

I knew within a month, as did my husband. We've been married for over 18 years. His girlfriend before me (well, one away from the one right before me - he was casually dating someone when we met and he broke it off with her to date me) he dated for almost five years.

My husband's cousin dated a woman for years (5+) and they broke up about a year ago. He met someone three months ago and proposed on Christmas.

Sometimes you just know right away.

 

[Handbag Lady]

My husband swears he knew the day he met me. I believe him, but I took longer.



Sometimes, you just KNOW. I don't think it is out of the ordinary. Just keep your eyes open and see if he fits your mental checklist. Is he nice to waiters? Does he respect elders? Is he easy to forgive if you make any mistakes (we ALL should be this way), that sort of thing.

And you do want a few differences. It makes life fun and interesting.

 

[roscoepc1]

I think it depends on the maturity of the people involved. I only dated dh two months when he asked me to marry him. I didn't get my ring for another two, as it was a tradition in his family to propose with the ring on Christmas Eve, but we were already making wedding plans by then.

It's been 18 years now....and we still like each other, love each other, and are happily married.

 

[liamsaunt]

My husband and I decided to get married after our second date. I was younger than you--20. We didn't actually get married for a few more years--we mapped out a plan for what we could do to ensure that we would start off on a strong footing together. I went back to finish college, he went off to law school. We both lined up jobs and got married the week after he graduated. We've been together for 18 years. Like others have said, sometimes you just know.

 

[Kae]

Dh & I went on a couple dates in March 88. then got "back" together april 22 88 got engaged june 8 88 & married October 14 1989.

Kae

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I had a BF at 21/22 that I wanted to marry - and he wanted to marry me too. He was a great guy, stable, great with kids too. We were together for a good amount of time (~1 1/2 years) and then he broke it off 6 months before we got married. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm not anywhere near the same person now that I was 8 years ago, and I have no doubt in my mind that we would have split up eventually. There's no way we would have lasted.

Flash forward to 6 years ago when I met my husband. We dated for about 3 months - he broke it off (was afraid of committment). We got back together 2 months later (technically Valentine's Day) and were married by the end of that year. We celebrated our 5th anniversary right before Christmas and haven't looked back since.

If/when you do get engaged, don't rush too much. Enjoy the planning process and make sure that your day is fully about celebrating you both.

 

[Tinkermommy]

He could be the one.

I married my dh 7 months after meeting him. we have been married for almost 24 years now

This is me as well. I was 18 and DH was 19. It will be 24 years in June.

 

[RainbowBrite]

I realize my situation is different because I knew DW in high school and we were friends then (but then didn't see each other for the next 6 years), but we went on our first date in November, made things official in December, said "I love you" for the first time in January and I started thinking about proposing in April. We got engaged in July. So personally I don't think there's any "right" time frame. When you know, you know.