How Scary Is The Birth Process? THANK YOU POST #51

[SC Minnie]

You know what scares me about birth? Having a catheter. Don't you need one when you get an epidural? For some reason, the idea of that is really upsetting to me. You'd think with everything I've had done to me in that area, a catheter would be nothing. But, no. I'm freaked out about the catheter. I heard they wait until the epidural wears off to take it out and that it hurts to go to the bathroom after. What's the story with the catheter?

I didn't have a catheter. DD was born about 9:30 pm. The next morning a nurse came in and asked me if I could make it to the bathroom. I told her I didn't think so (my legs were still real 'heavy feeling'). She told me if I couldn't get to the bathroom they would have to put in a catheter. I got in there pretty quick when she told me that.

 

[minnieandmickeymouse]

I gave birth to 4 babies not one time did I get an epidural. So I guess if I can do it 4 times it can't be that bad!
It hurts ALOT!!! But most people end up with the epidurals and don't feel all that pain. I live in a small town, and at our hospital you just can't get one when you want Each labor hurt differntly also. My last one was the best, 1 1/2 hours of labor, just got to the hospital at 9 CM, the midwife came in, and one minute and one push he was out!!! If I only could have done that 4 times. I think pushing them out is the most painful part, OUCH! The second that baby is out, all you want is that baby in your arms, they are so warm, and I love their smell! I would do it again, just to have that moment again when they are first born. We also video taped each birth, so I can see it anytime I want.

 

[budbeerlady]

My Dd came really fast. First contraction at 11:30 am while loading the dishwasher and I thought I had better go shave my legs, she was a week early!
Called the doc at 12:30, couldnt really walk around contractions were about 8 min apart. I had to pack some clothes and We got to the hospital at 2pm. (Find a doc and a hospital close to home is my advice! I really wanted this doc but the hospital was 35 miles away!)
I was on all 4s in the parking lot, Dh told me to get up I was scaring people, I wanted to tell him where to go but I was trying to concentrate on my breathing. A wonderful nurse with a wheel chair rescued me and wheeled me to the delivery room. The doc arrived at 2:30. But DD in her true stubborn character was facing the wrong way and we had to turn her. (Not breach but the other wrong way, if that makes sense) She was born at 5:35 pm. It was a sunday night and all of our family was in church.

I delivered her without any drugs, the worst was done by the time we arrived she would have been good to go if not being faced the wrong way. I had my hospital registartion set for monday morning, so I go the answer 20 questions while in labor. And then I ended up with a nasty episiotomy, that was worse than anything else. I did get shots for those stiches.

- Register weeks in advance at the hospital you are using!
- Pack a bag weeks in advance
- Keep those legs shaved, you never know!
- Keep an open mind, if you need drugs ask for them, see how it goes, you might not need them.

-It is hard, it hurts but it is so worth it!

 

[amarberry]

Well, I didn't have an epidural (I have a weird phobia about needles being stuck in my back), and while I wouldn't want to go through the child birth process everyday, I figure going through it a couple of times in my life is doable. Obviously, it hurt, but even without the epidural it wasn't that horrible. However, my DD popped out in about 20 minutes. If I had been pushing for 2 or 3 hours, I might have felt differently.

We took Bradley childbirth classes and I was so pleased with them. Bradley is a natural childbirth method that isn't for everyone, but what I liked about the classes is that they teach you so much more about the childbirth process than your average hospital course. Our classes ran for 12 weeks and taught us extensively about the different stages of labor, prenatal nutrition & exercise, and breastfeeding. My DH was lukewarm about the entire Bradley thing at first, but I could tell how confident and knowledgable he felt about the process when I was in labor.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The fear of the unknown is what is scary for me. Actually being in the labor/childbirth moment was not scary. I had my support team and access to medications if I wanted them or needed them. I also had a Doula this last time around. Best money I ever spent.

Knowledge is power and will help alleviate fears. Going in without any notion of what will happen (for me with any medical procedure or new medical experience) and anticipating the unknown will cause greater stress than what is actually happening once you are there. (Again in my experience for anything medical or bodily function related).

 

[Kristi1357]

Just remember...Say Yes to Drugs.

I could not agree more!

Seriously, I was petrified on child birth! I wanted DS not to turn around so I could have a c-section!

I did have all the drugs they could give me, including an epidural. I also ended up with an emergency c-section in the long run. The important part is no matter what, you get to bring home a beautiful new baby! Women would not have more than one child if it was all that bad. I kept telling myself that throughout my pregnancy.

And even though my labor was less than ideal, we are seriously considering doing it all again. DH & I both swore we would never do this again while I was trying to push DS out! So, that just goes to show you - you will get through it, and you may be crazy enough to do it again!

 

[va32h]

You know what scares me about birth? Having a catheter. Don't you need one when you get an epidural? For some reason, the idea of that is really upsetting to me.

I felt the same way. I begged the drs not to use a catheter. I think they did anyway, with the 3rd one. The good news is that after awhile it's all just a blur!

One of our family rituals is that every year, on their birthdays, I re-tell the story of The Day You Were Born. Every year I forget stuff, or mix up what happened with which baby. Thank goodness the kids remember.

I also had a paranoia about having my water broken. With my first, I remember hearing the nurse say "we'll have to break her", and I swear, at that moment, my water broke on it's own, probably through my sheer force of will and terror.

With my first, I had a massive panic attack around 7 months - a sudden realization called "Oh My God, There is a Baby Inside Me and it Has to Come Out Somehow". But by 9 months, I had reached a sort of Zen attitude - it's inevitable that the baby is coming out, no matter how I feel about it - just go with the flow.

That didn't stop me from screaming my head off when the time came, but honestly, the minute I held my baby, I either forgot about or just didn't care about everything that happened before.

You'll do fine!

 

[SamIAm21]

I freaked out for pretty much my whole first pregnancy about how badly it was going to hurt and all the other "horror" stories people told me about their labor/delivery. When I hit my 9th month I would have done pretty much anything to get that kid out. I was so sick of her using my internal organs as her own little tae bo gym that I couldn't stand it 1 min longer. She was 8 days late to top it off.

Oh YOU KNOW that's right!

My DD was 11 days late! Dr. take her out any way you can! So, after being induced, 18 hours of labor, 9 without epidural and a C-section cause she was 9lbs, my daughter was born and when I think about it now, I just think, it wasn't that bad...

 

[mommaU4]

How Scary is the Birth Process?

Very. It's terrifying. I'll never do it that's for dang sure. No way, no how am I having kids and putting myself through all that. Have to be nuts to do that.

Well, that's what I used to think. And wouldn't you know it. Look at my sig. 4 kids!!!! Gee, guess it wasn't that bad.

I was induced with the first two and the last two were twins that came by c-section.

It is what it is, which is so different for everyone. Even if the exact same details happen to you that happen to your neighbor or friend, it doesn't mean you will both react to them the same.

So don't worry about it. Get all the drugs they will give you. And when all is said and done once you leave that hospital with that new bundle in your arms nothing that happened to bring you to that moment will matter much anyway.

Btw, if you are the least bit shy like I was, be prepared to get over that real quick. Especially since I was induced and the first time it didn't work right away, I had so many different people checking me out "down there" that they should've been throwing dollar bills at me.

Good luck.

 

[lulu71]

The catheter was no big deal - I got it after I had the epidural and had it removed well after the epidural wore off and I didn't feel a thing.

How scary is childbirth? Before you have the baby, it's scary as all get out. After, for me I realized it was no big deal. I had a c-section and wouldn't do it any other way, but that's just me. Epidural (no big deal), lay there and 20 minutes later the baby is out - and I had some problems where they had trouble getting her out! Recovery was easy too. I wouldn't push for anything though, that scares the you-know-what out of me!

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I mainly remember laying on the hospital bed before they gave me the pitocin (I was induced) and thinking, "Does the baby really have to come out? Can't I just go home and leave it in there forever?" lol. Anyway, it wasn't bad at all, but as mentioned, everyone's birth story is different. I was induced at 8:30 a.m. (I wasn't in labor at all at the time) and dd was born at 11:27 a.m.. She's my first (and only) child too. Guess I was just built for birthin'. Anyway, I got an epidural, but she was born too quickly for it to take effect, so I couldn't feel my legs AFTER she was born. Labor itself was mostly uncomfortable, not very painful. I did get a painkiller of some sort, but I don't remember the name of it. It helped me sleep during contractions.

However, I think I got off easy. I've heard some real labor horror stories. My sister has one. My dd is now 5 and honestly, I never think about the debilitating morning sickness or labor unless someone mentions it.

 

[megan4777]

The BIGGEST thing for me was the IV. I have a horrid phobia of needles. I can't handle them and I get physically shaky/sick when put near them. I did VERY well with both and I don't know if I had a catheter. I know there were several people down below several times but I didn't care what they were doing.

I was induced for both DD's. For #1 it was at 39wks for #2 it was at 37 weeks (I think....)
My pelvis separated at like 37 wks for DD#1 and at like 29 weeks for #2 and that meant crying and agonizing pain when I was sitting/walking/ standing/moving.....


As far as pain goes, I had the drugs for DD#1 but they wore off by the time I actually pushed her out. My mom and DMIL were there and that probably added to the pain (no offense to them) b/c they really were TRYING to be helpful but were more of a pain. My mom kept trying to touch my feet and I wanted to break her hands. I swore at both of them multiple times b/c they kept touching me and doing things I would ask DH to do (like get some ice..."I asked HIM not YOU GDMit!!")

For DD#2 they couldn't get me the epidural soon enough b/c there was a line of people in front of me. They did get it in but I pushed her out before any relief came. I honestly wished I could've beaten the dr/nurse/trainee dr when they asked DH and I if I wanted to touch her head while she was coming out. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! GET HER OUT!!!
We had no parents there

The only other thing that noone really warned me of was after you give birth. They will push on your stomach like it's a stress relief ball. They need to get everything back into place and need to check, frequently. It hurts.

I'm the BIGGEST BABY on earth when it comes to pain. I managed to get through it, though.

ANYONE will do better than me!

 

[crazymomof4]

I've had a birth "smorgasbord":

#1- Vag delivery w/ epidural.
#2- Vag delivery, no drugs at all- not even an aspirin.
#3- Emergency C-section- no time for epidural- had general anesthesia- baby
out in 7 mins! to a great OB!
#4- Planned C-section w/ epidural- to me, this is the "Cadillac" of births.

You know what? You cannot look at my kids and tell under what circumstances they each were born!!!

I tell expectant friends this: There are no heroes in the birthing room! If you can do it without pain relief, great. If not, there's always the drugs/epidural to make you feel more comfortable and actually enjoy the birth experience. (I say this bc. some moms cannot enjoy it through the pain, some can though.) An epidural, done properly, leaves you pain-free. So if you are frightened by the prospect of pain, remember that you have that option, let that ease your mind as the birth draws near, even if you end up not using it. I also tell pregnant moms not to fear a C-section if things end up going that way. It's not as big of a deal as many people portray it. I had #3 by C section at 7:30am and was sitting in a chair next to my bed talking on the phone and watching the nurse change my sheets at 10am. I was given the choice for #4 and actually chose a C section.

Remember too, that everyone's pain tolerance if different. Some of the "horror" stories you've heard may have been told by Drama Queens, like my sisters-in-law! They make childbirth sound like surviving a plane crash!

You know that the pain is worth it-- after all, look at how many second, third, and forth + babies have been concieved.

Birth is an experience. Babies are great! It's teenagers that cause the pain!

 

[crazymomof4]

Hey!
I just thought of a great analogy:

You know how when you go on a thrill ride like a rollercoaster you are so apprehensive while standing in line? You want to do it but you don't know what to expect or if you will be able to handle the experience. It may turn out that you love the ride and go on over and over or it may be too intense for you and you wish you never went on.

Well........just think if you knew that during the ride you could push a button and tame the ride down to where you felt comfortable. If you were too scared or nauseous, you could push the button and just like that the ride slowed down and the loops and twists stopped. Wouldn't that ease your mind about getting on the ride? Think of birth as a thrill ride and think of an epidural as that button.

 

[PaulaSue]

In general it is "not bad" or those/us moms would not go on to have more DC. Besdies it is worth it when you get to see your baby!!!!

P.S. I am a Mom who was high risk, who was preggo 4 times with 5 babies and I have 3 beautiful DDs.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I was really worried about labor/delivery too, but it was a piece of cake.

Yes, it hurts, but it is so WORTH IT!!! It's not like stubbing your toe on the coffee table, feeling stupid because you should've avoided it pain. No, this pain will bring into your life the most precious, lovable little bundle of joy you've ever dreamed of. That's why most women will gladly do it again (and again!), even after the horror stories they love to tell.

I agree with the others who said by the time you are 9 months pregnant, you'll want that baby out of your body, and that an epidural can be your best friend.

I had no problems with the catheter. They put it in after I was already numb, and I don't even remember them taking it out.

The thing that I was most freaked out about was the episiotomy. (You want to cut me WHERE???????!!!!!!!! ) I talked with my doc beforehand, telling her I did not want one, and she kept telling me to keep an open mind, sometimes it is needed. Well, after pushing for 2 hours, she convinced me I needed one, and Lo and Behold! She was right! It didn't hurt! And the baby came out about 2 minutes later!

So try not to worry about it too much. It's natural to be scared of the unknown, but like I said, if it was that bad, no one would do it more than once.

 

[mickeysgal]

I was on all 4s in the parking lot, Dh told me to get up I was scaring people, I wanted to tell him where to go but I was trying to concentrate on my breathing.

It probably wasn't funny at the time, but this quote above had me

After my first, I swore that I was just going to raise puppies from now on since the delivery was sort of rough. Well, low and behold, we have three kids now, so apparently, delivery isn't all that bad.

I remember when my DH dropped me off in front of the hospital doors when I was about to deliver child #1. (He didn't want me walking through the parking lot.) He went to park the car, and I just stood there and waited. Well, my water had broken and I was leaking all over the pavement. If that wasn't bad enough, there was a guy who was on crutches waiting for his ride to pull up...I think I thoroughly scared him. I still laugh about it today.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Hey!
I just thought of a great analogy:

You know how when you go on a thrill ride like a rollercoaster you are so apprehensive while standing in line? You want to do it but you don't know what to expect or if you will be able to handle the experience. It may turn out that you love the ride and go on over and over or it may be too intense for you and you wish you never went on.

Well........just think if you knew that during the ride you could push a button and tame the ride down to where you felt comfortable. If you were too scared or nauseous, you could push the button and just like that the ride slowed down and the loops and twists stopped. Wouldn't that ease your mind about getting on the ride? Think of birth as a thrill ride and think of an epidural as that button.

That is a great analogy! The only thing to remember is that the button will only work up until a certain point. If you wait too long, it won't work anymore, so be sure to find out from your doc when you're getting close to that point of no return!

 

[laurajetter]

After much research (during the 2.5 years it took to get pregnant!) I decided that I wanted to have a natural birth in the water. We took the Bradley Method, a 12 week series of classes. It was the singlemost best decision my husband and I made!

Yes, there was pain, but I never once felt it was unmanageable. Early on in the pregnancy, I thought about how others have successfully gone natural (without medication), but I didn't know if *I* could do it; well, I did, and believe me, I am a pain wimp! My birth experience was so wonderful, I am always chomping at the bit to tell about it. And it's NOT to brag, but rather to let other women know how wonderful natural childbirth can be (for you AND your baby)! There are so many misconceptions about giving birth and aspects that many people just don't realize! I have nothing but fond memories of my son's birth, I actually can't wait to go through it again.

We also had a doula (she was also our Bradley Method teacher), which was very helpful. One thing that amazed me during the class was hearing the birth stories of previous Bradley couples that visited our class. They were beaming, so excited to tell every step of what happened. The husbands were talking over their wives and the wives talking over their husbands; it was so cute! I couldn't believe it was possible for these couples to be so happy about their births, but they were.

All in all, it was a very great experience. If you want any more info on the Bradley Method, going natural, having a waterbirth, or the details of my experience, please just PM me.

Laura

 

[buddy&wooz]

I gave birth to three kids. No epidural, no drugs at all except a little demerol with the first that just made me woozy.

Of course it hurt like hell and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't begging for drugs with my last one (but it was too late -if you want the drugs definitely ask early & often ...)

But what I remember most about that birth is slow dancing with my husband alone in the delivery room between contractions. I felt more comfortable standing up with him supporting me, and we got into a rhythm of swaying together between the pains. It was one of the most romantic experiences of my life .