How Much Pay Incrase To Move Family?

[pigletto]

As I am sure you know since you posted this, there really isn't an easy answer here. With the information you have provided and the fact that your kids are young I would absolutely say yes it is worth it to go.
We have a daughter with 2 years of highschool left and couldn't move her now. It would be horrible for her. Once she's off to University our son will be in 6th grade. However we have him in a immersive language program and moving him before high school would be a bad idea. So the older they get, the more stuck in one place you become. Add in the fact that I am tied to the area because I am very very close with extended family (my sisters and I see eachother every day, weekly dinner with my parents etc.) and moving far away sounds impossible. Yet, dh will have to make some tough decisions about his career soon and his happiness will affect everyone else as well. He deserves to go somewhere he loves or at least likes every day and not have to drive 3 hours a day to do it. Again.. no easy answers. But if my kids were younger and more adaptable, it would make a move much easier.

 

[ceecee]

Sounds like your DH is unhappy in his job and it probably won't improve so now is the time with your kids being younger. Once they are established in HS and even middle school it will be hard to change. Even without a pay increase it sounds like he needs the change. You didn't mention if you had family where you are now or the area you are looking at. Rent and see how you like the area, you can always come back, maybe even consider renting your current house in case you do come back.

 

[disneycrazi]

Based on what you stated I wouild move in a heart beat. Ten years of working a job you hate, with no potential for advancement, would be motivation enough. Let hubby go and rent something for a few months. Most cities have several good school districts.

Yes yes yes.......the strain of a job you hate will steal your health and well being!

 

[Colleen27]

If you're going to do it now is the time. Your kids are young enough that they'll adapt well and it sounds like the career options are better in the new location. Personally, I think being in a place with more potential jobs available would be better - if you decide to stay put and God forbid something happens that your husband's current position is eliminated, it doesn't sound like he'd have much to go after in terms of another job in his field. That along with better long-term prospects might even be worth taking a pay cut relative to cost-of-living.

The one and only thing that has held us back from relocating is family, and apparently there's no amount of money that will overcome that issue for DH. We live close to his parents and my mother, as well as both our brothers. My youngest considers her cousin (BIL's son) one of her best friends, and we've never had to hire a sitter because there's always been family willing and able to watch the kids when we have plans. Quite honestly, there are times when I think DH is entirely irrational on the subject. He turned down an offer of a job in TX that would have increased our household income by about 30K, and while our cost of living there would be somewhat higher we'd still have come out about 15K ahead. When his business was slowly failing, when he closed it to take a job only to be laid off 6 months later, when it took him months to find another position at 30% lower pay, from time to time I'm guilty of thinking in the back of my mind how much more stable the economy is down there and how much better off we might have been now if we'd taken the leap. But we missed our chance - our kids were early elem then, now the older two are middle schoolers and I wouldn't uproot them.

 

[Egdisney]

We just moved this year. We didn't move cross country, but did move to another state. We were already an hour from our closest relatives, we are now 3.5 hours away from my parents and 5.5 hours from husbands parents. If you are going to consider moving, I feel you should try your best to do so while your kids are in elementary school. It isn't too hard on them at that point. However, you always have to do what is best for your family and your husband being in a job he hates with no potential for growth is NEVER the best thing for your family!
My husband took basically the same job with the same company but in a department that was larger and needed a lot of help. We weren' moving for less than 10, 000, he received 15,000. I am not going to lie, it was really hard to move as I was settled in to our community and loved the schools and our neighbors. I also knew that if my husband wants to have a successful career he needs to keep moving up and getting bigger and better things on his resume. To get into a good school district his commute is a little longer, but worth it for us. The cost of living is comparable as we didn't move too far away.

 

[pocomom]

We took a 30K pay cut for hubby to work in Texas, we live in PA and won't be able to sell our house anytime soon. He can work from home about half of the time and the other half he lives in a hotel in Texas (reimbursed and travel too). BUT we beleive this move was a good move career wise too, he was miserable in his other high stress, long hours job, and he had to commute and 11/2 to 2 hours daily. Now when he is home he'll work an 8 hour day in his jammies if he likes. The change in him the last few weeks has been outstanding. He is happy, playful with the kids, just more lighthearted. We have had to make some sacrfices but it is not all about money. After one month, they are already talking to dh about moving him up, too. He would never have had the advancement opportunities where he was. And since the company has a better name, we think the opportuinities when and if he leaves will be great too. When we decided I told Dh we can manage anything for a year, except him being miserable. So that was our agreement, try it out and see. Maybe you could not move or even try until you see how it works out for Dh?
My dh facetimes with the kids every couple of days and calls each morning and evening, I know it is not the same for them as having daddy around but honestly he wasn't around they way I would have liked him to be anyway previously -unhappy, preoccupied and always having to do something for work. On our last disney vacation he came for one day with the kids and went out to starbucks to work that evening. Now when he is here, he is here & happy and that is priceless.

 

[islandtimect]

Based on our family's experience, I could write a shocking and depressing book on this subject! Only you can determine the right balance between cost of living, job satisfaction, and family life. But here are some things to think about:

- If you move, do it before the kids are in middle or high school

- Thoroughly research the new area using google, city data forum, shooldigger.com, great schools.org, local media outlets, and anyplace you can get information and opinions from the locals. Schools in some states are obsessed with test scores, and your child's education may suffer while they are simultaneously acing state standardized tests.

- The grass is not always greener on the other side of the job market, so have a solid work contract before moving, research the new employer, and accumulate a healthy rainy day fund. DH hated owning his medical practice and the cold winters up north, and thought moving to his dream state and working for someone else would be less stressful. The winters were better, but the new employer was a nightmare. He lost his job, and has only worked 4 months in the past year. Our lower cost of living is nothing compared to our significant loss of revenue, so we were smart to have a big rainy day fund.

- Think hard how much the relationships you have with family and friends matter. Will you be fine: not having them around at holidays, if you or your spouse experience a health crisis, not having grandparents and others seeing your kids grow up, etc? Depending where you move to, it could be very difficult to make new friends. We were warned about this, but being outgoing, I thought it wouldn't be so hard.

- Check a couple of COL calculators, then tweak the results based on your personal situation. For example, we are boaters, so keeping a boat in a marina and using it nearly year round costs thousands of dollars more than up north. If you will need to pay someone to maintain you lawn, spray for bugs and termites, those too are year round costs vs up north.

Good Luck!

 

[yoopermom]

Ditto what Marie said.

I was laid off 8 yrs ago and twice since then I took a new job, went by myself for a year to make sure it was all going to work out, and got laid off AGAIN both times (and both had promised me over and over that no cuts were coming, yeah right).

So run the "what if" of what if you do this huge move and it doesn't work out after one, two, three years, then what? Moving is NOT cheap, and is very stressful emotionally on children, parents, etc.

In the meantime my DS is graduating from the same school he started at thirteen years ago, with his tight group of friends, etc. We may not live a high society life, but there are some things that it's hard to put a price on...

Terri

 

[MSSANDRA]

We took a HUGE pay cut in order to not relocate. To us, it simply was not worth it to uproot, happy, but somewhat shy and not overly social kids. All our family is here and that was a huge deciding factor. It is just important to us to have them around our kids.
We also looked at the fact that cost of living is higher there, travel back and forth for frequent visits and the possibility of private school cost sold us on staying put pretty quickly. DH is not overly happy with his job, but we as a family are happy where we are and glad we did not make the move.

 

[mm1971]

The cost of living according to online calculators is less in the new place. But the COA calculators never take completely into consideration our super high property taxes where we are. It varies by town. Our property taxes would be about 75% less.

Sounds like more money, lower expenses and an area you would like to live in. The decision would already be made if it were me. The children are still young and should adjust well. With better advancement opportunities, a more enjoyable position and higher net $$ your whole family will be better off.

I have turned down positions for more $$ since I like my job and I have the flexibility most in my position do not have. If I could find a a position with a higher net and opportunities, I'd already be in the car.

Of course you also have other considerations like distance from family and loved ones, crime rates, job security, etc....

Good luck on making the decision. It will certainly be a life changing event should you decide to take the new position.

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

Well, from what you've posted it sounds like a good opportunity for your family, as long as the school system is good or the savings allow you to afford private school.

DH and I plan to move from our area when we retire, mainly due to the COL. Our retirement monies will go a lot further in other areas. Plus, I don't want to deal with the snow anymore!

Darcy, I could have written this myself, word for word! Two more years and it will be a reality, God willing. We just haven't decided where to go!

 

[Darcy03231]

Darcy, I could have written this myself, word for word! Two more years and it will be a reality, God willing. We just haven't decided where to go!

We still have a while to go (5-7 years), but Phase I will start next summer when DH retires. We plan to sell our house and move into our "summer" house full time. While it will mean a bit longer of a commute for me (45 min v. 20 min), we won't have a mortgage any longer and will have much lower expenses (moving from 3,200 s.f to about 900 s.f.). We're moving the two children who are still at home into an apartment. DD will have just finished college and DS will have completed his 2nd year. We'll subsidize the apartment as long as DS is still in school.

 

[lucyem]

Thank you all!!! This is really helpful seeing how you have all decided to or not to move. You all make great points. I grew up moving yearly for no good reason so keeping my kids in one place for middle/high school is important. My oldest is in 5th grade now. We have no family here and believe me that was a huge issue when we moved here and i was alone and pregnant for 6 months. Moving would put us no closer to family, though MIL may end up on our doorstep no matter where we end up. Moving would give me job prospects, presently i work barely part time and where we are now that will not change. As i type more comes to mind. It would put me in a better location with my horses for training. DH and i spent the day today discussing possibilities. I think right now it comes down to being apart while the house sells, the big move with chickens and dogs and horses in tow, and the most important thing the kids and schools. Youngest has dyslexia and after next year will be switching to the older grade school that has issues. Literally parents pull their kids 4-5 th grades (homeschool or private) and then put them back into the public for 7th on. So that too is pushing us moving even if we stay in the Same state. So much to think about. Thank you!

 

[howlongtildisney]

We did exactly this a year ago, and we're very happy with it. I got a job that has less stress and makes me much more happy, all for about the same amount of money. My husband took a job making less but that has free tuition benefits and is working on his masters. Plus, the cost of living here is considerably lower than where we were. We took the opportunity to simplify our lives a lot and I'm so happy we did. Before we took the plunge, we did a lot of research on the area and made sure it had things that were important to us.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[EMAW_KSU]

Kids can adapt to moving. I moved to a different state after 1st grade, 4th grade, 7th grade, and 10th grade and it didn't negatively affect me.

 

[DisneyOrBustColorado]

It would put me in a better location with my horses for training. DH and i spent the day today discussing possibilities. I think right now it comes down to being apart while the house sells, the big move with chickens and dogs and horses in tow, and the most important thing the kids and schools.

lucyem - This sounds so similar to what we are going through. We now live in a rural area & I have a business that caters to the equine market. Our problem here in CO. is that property, even 5 acres, is difficult to afford without having to drive far to get to town & good schools. I currently drive 35 minutes, one way, to get my kids to a good school. We have been contemplating moving to Florida because my DH can work there & we kind of like it. Of course it is easy for things to look good on paper & then be another story when you get there. It would take tons of work to actually make this decision. We have many animals large & small that would have to move with us. It would take many flights out to see if we could make it work & much research. It's just that my kids want to be involved in sports etc... & it is almost impossible right now because we live so far out. So I am curious to follow your story & see how things work out for you. I would love to keep in touch somehow.

All that being said... There is a need for good horse trainers here where I live. Just in case you are interested.