How many kids do you have and would you do it again?

[olliesmom]

We have two kids, currently aged 3 and 6. We find ourselves going back and forth all the time as to whether to add a third.

It does feel like we are already in the thick of parenting young children and on days where we feel as though we are already at capacity, I can't imagine adding another human's needs into the mix. On the other hand, there has been nothing in life that has brought up greater joy than our children and the chaos might be a worthwhile tradeoff for a bigger family and more of what we love. I also come from a family of two myself and as an adult would love to have another sibling.

Most of the other parents I have talked to with 2 or three are at the same stage as us, with very young kids. I wish I could see into the future and what our family would look like either way. For those here who have 2 or 3 (or more, or less) - where are you in your family's life stage and how do you feel now? Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated!! Hoping to read some experiences and see what resonates.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have 5, 21, 21, 23, 26, 27, would do it over in a heartbeat. As a matter of fact, I’ll have my 3 college students home this summer, plus my 21 year old niece and my daughter’s 21 year old friend, who have internships in nyc. Organized chaos has been our home forever, always kids coming and going, tons of activities. All 5 are down the shore this weekend with friends, but they’ll meet up at the bars. They are extremely close, didn’t even fight as kids (people would question me about that, it was a little weird). When they were younger, my husband and I, plus my parents, drove minivans for carpooling.

 

[Wayland10]

I have a 15 year old and a 12 year old and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Life is busy, someone is always doing something amazing, someone is always experiencing drama or growing pains, I get to experience both as individuals. I’m also (now that they’re older) able to do amazing things myself and focus on my marriage and maintaining that emotional bond. I thought I wanted three kids, but after my second child had colic and didn’t sleep through the night until she was 2, I changed my mind thoroughly and never looked back. I do enjoy hanging out with my toddler nephew, though 2 hours playing Dino-skunk farm reminds me that teenagers are awesome too… and never pretend to spray you with “stink”.

 

[sheilafri]

I have three—now aged 40, 38 and 32. I wouldn’t do the 6 year gap again if I had a choice. Too much age difference. But I also wouldn’t give up #3 for anything. Although he did give rise to our motto that you always have one more child than you should have.

 

[Skywalker3]

I have 3, had my first very young, then didn't have the second until 14 years later, and third one a few years after that. (current ages: 34, 19, 17) THere was a HUGE difference in where I was in life, and how much energy I had, daycare needed vs being a SAHM, etc. , but I will say, having that gap does help you realize with that third kid what not to stress over, let go. totally different experiences for me and how the kids were raised.
No, I would not do that again. I for sure like having 3 kids, but would not at all want that much space between them. If you're going to have another one, do it soon, (if you can control that, we had unexpected fertility issues,) so they can grow up together. I think 3 is a great number, and know a lot of happy folks with2, several with 4, so it's just all a personal choice, but do not wait!!

 

[Meriweather]

I have two......and I would do it again. Being a mother is what I was made to do.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Two boys, 6 years apart.

 

[barkley]

we have 2, 2 1/2 years apart-one will be 30 soon, one is 27. we only wanted 2 children b/c we knew we could provide for them and did not want more than a few years age gap between them b/c we were both the youngest in our families with a least a 6 year age gap between us and our closest in age siblings. in both our cases that gap was too great to ever foster any kind of close relationships with our sibs growing up. by the time we were of the 'playmate' age of 3 or 4 our sibs were 9 or 10 and had no desire to play with us, when they became teens and young adults we were at an age where there was little common ground.

 

[neverlandsky]

2 kids, 23 months apart. Would do it again. Especially since we were both told we couldn't even have kids.

 

[bakerworld]

We talked before marrying and decided, with our salaries (machinist & secretary), not to have kids because daycare would be onerous. We had 3 kids over 6 1/2 years. I told all my kids not to have children and enjoy their lives. The oldest one has a step plus 2 and all she talks about is $ and being tired. Currently I am babysitting 2 days a week to help with daycare costs.

 

[Southernmiss]

We have 4. Would do it again in a heartbeat, too.

In the younger years, the days can be long. But the years are short.

Dh and I always said 2 maybe 3 kids.

Our youngest just graduated college and she has been the icing on the cake.

I have 3 siblings and our lives are so full enjoying our nieces, nephews and big family gatherings. Leaving my sister's now (she is 14 years younger than me-I'm the oldest, she's the baby)from her daughter's high school graduation where we had a huge family celebration. In our family, as adults, the age gap doesn't matter.

 

[disneychrista]

I have two daughters. If I had to do it over again, I probably wouldn’t have had either of them, at least when I did. First one was completely unplanned, unattended as I was a 17 HS senior 3 months away from graduating. The second was semi-planned by coercion from my boyfriend in an attempt to control me. I raised them both as a single parent.

Now if you are just meaning the number of children, knowing what I know now if I was to start over I would have ideally have one.

 

[Kitty 34]

Three sons; 44, 37 and 35.

Wouldn't change a thing.

 

[Miffy]

Zero. And yes, I would do it again.

 

[JulieBeeRN]

I would have spaced them out more bc having three kids on my car insurance, and subsequently having three in college was rough on the bank account.

 

[#1hoosierfan]

My boys are 15 and 17. I only ever wanted two kids. They are my world. When they were infant/toddler it was tough, but I love the age difference now.

 

[StopPlayin]

One and done lol. Dd 25.

 

[QueenIsabella]

We had four with a weird spacing. DD28, 21 months later, DS27...6 years later, DD21, and then three years later, DS18.

We wrestled with secondary infertility, hence the gap. I never would have picked this spacing--you know what they say about, "Men plan, God laughs". It was like having two families.

I had come to terms with the fact that, even if 2 wasn't MY number, maybe it was THE number. Then, I got pregnant with #3--I literally took the test, the day after #2 started kindergarten. Then my husband said he really wanted a fourth. I had always said, "40 and I'm done", and I had #3 at 39. Throw in the fertility issues, and I said, "Sure, Buddy, but we're only trying for X amount of time. If it doesn't happen, we accept our good fortune and move on." Lo and behold, I got pregnant right away.

Would I do it again? Yes, but...I don't know how I would have felt with 2 or 3. Some days, I feel old as Methuselah. #4 starts college this fall, and I just feel like I'm paying and paying and paying, with no end in sight. #2 has issues that mean he may never launch. #3 has issues--different ones--and is talking about taking a gap year after college graduation next spring. Sometimes I feel like I'm never getting rid of them. Other times, I feel blessed to have them so happy to be with us.

 

[kymom99]

I have one, 24 year old son. Would have loved more but had terrible fertility issues. I’m so fortunate to be a mother. I always envy people who are able to say, I think we want another child, and it just happens. Infertility is heartbreaking.

 

[brettcw23]

Everyone's situation is different. We have 2 DDs and they are the loves of my life (plus my wifey). I have never had regrets about us having them. My DW and I both wanted 2 kids. We got them, they are healthy and have brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined. We have enjoyed all of the different stages as they are now in HS and college respectively. There have been days of complete exhaustion from the toddler years, but we embraced it. Then we had the perpetual running for their activities. Now my youngest drives and part of me is sad that it's less chaotic. You'll figure it out and whatever you decide will be the right result.