How many DIS grandparents...

[mrsheppo]

are raising their Grandchildren?

I just had the shock of my life the other night. My DD 19 came to my DH and I the other night and told us she no longer wants to keep her 4 month old DD. She didn't want to give her up for adoption and asked if we would take custody of her.

She said it is just too hard and feels she can't handle the pressure and work of being a single mother (the father is not in the picture). While we are upset and heartbroken that she doesn't want her baby, we are glad she talked to us before she ended up feeling resentment towards the baby and perhaps neglecting or abusing her. DH & I are now awaiting our court date to assume full guardianship of our precious granddaughter.

We want nothing but the best for our little granddaughter and have the full support of our family. We will also still support DD in her decision.

Please keep us in your thoughts. We never thought that we would be starting over at 49 and 59.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I am glad your DD felt she could come to you. Good luck to you and your DH.

 

[CEDmom]

It's wonderful that your DD has you in her life. I wish you all the best. Don't worry too much there are plenty of parents your age with very young children. My DH was 46 when he became a dad - I was 38. We know lots of people that became parents for the 1st time in their 40s.

 

[MELSMICE]

Your daughter has great parents. Your grandaughter is a very lucky little girl.

Best wishes to you all.

 

[4nana]

Oh sweetie, bless your hearts! What a sacrifice you are making and I hope your DD realizes just how blessed she is to have you in her life to raise her precious child. I think I remember when you posted about her birth and if that's her in your avatar she is beautiful!

I know two sets of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren and managing fine. In fact, giving them a great future they wouldn't had otherwise. I personally think it is the most loving, unselfish and compassionate offer any grandparent can make to care for and raise a precious grand.

We have never had to raise any of our grands, but would do it in a heartbeat if there was ever a need! For years we've done daycare for our little grands until they are preschool age and really love and enjoy out special time together and helping out!

I wish you and DH the very best in raising your little bundle of joy. I'm sure you have much going thru your minds, but with your big hearts, also know that God will give you the strength, faith and hope to start over.

God Bless and I know you'll enjoy each day with your blessing!

 

[anewvance]

My grandparents raised my twin sister and I from the age of two and I could not have asked for a better life. I honestly don't know what kind of life my mother could have given me had she not been brave enough to realize she couldn't do it and stepped back. She's always been in my life but almost as a good friend. My grandparents have been my parents.

Which makes it all the harder to accept that my grandfather passed away 2 nights ago. We are just walking around in a fog trying to get everything ready for his funeral. I've had 2 break downs already this morning.

Bless you for what you are going to do for your grandchild, they will appreciate it for life....

 

[JunieJay]

You're a great Mom and Grandmom. Blessings to you and your family.

 

[MeMom]

Being a teacher, I know of many grandparents who are raising more than one grandchild. I have found them to be very concerned about and supportive of the children's educations. I know that you will do a great job of raising this little girl to be a happy, healthy, productive young lady. Best of everything to you as you go through these proceedings, and we will look forward to coming to know her through your posts on the Disboards.

 

[rie'smom]

What a wonderful new adventure! God bless you for taking this little angel. God bless your daughter too for realizing that she needed help and sought out you and your husband.

 

[DisMN]

Our granddaughter was a year and a half old when our daughter dropped her off for us to "babysit" one night. We didn't see DD again for a little over a year and for about 6 months of that time we didn't even know where she was or if she was alive.

We held onto our granddaughter but very reluctantly.......we just didn't/don't have the desire to parent again, which some people thought was awful of us.
How we handled it though was continuing our relationship with our granddaughters father..............and then when DD came back into our lives with her as well. We didn't burn any bridges.

We wanted BOTH parents to know that we would relinquish their child to them when they were better able and willing to care for her. Both parents were just so young when they had her they didn't know WHAT to do with a child.
Well, turns out dad matured faster than DD/mom and after about 3 years or so he decided he wanted to try parenting his daughter.
He had always been included in her life, we all tried to continue a friendly relationship.......and we knew he was basically a good person.

We discussed the logistics of how and when our granddaughter would move in with her dad, would it be slow, what would she bring with her from our home and stuff like that. None of what we talked about happened. LOL
The month before kindergarten was to start we mentioned The Plan to granddaughter and overnight SHE decided she wanted to make the move NOW! She was very firm about her wishes and her father seemed prepared to have her so we let her go. In a period of 24 hours we had gone from parenting back to grandparenting.

Our house was VERY empty for a long time afterwards and we wondered if we had made the right decision but realized the decision wasn't really ours to make. In the end, all has worked out very very well...........

DD has returned to our lives and has the roll of "Good Friend" to her daugher. She disconnected too much from her while she was away and now doesn't know how to reconnect with the original mothering instincts she had for her daughter. DD has since given birth to a son and is co-parenting him with the little boys father. They are both excellent parents to their little boy and continue to better their lives, with a home purchase in the very near future.
Granddaughter is a VERY happy, healthy, well rounded little girl. Her daddy has gotten remarried and our little Kate now has 2 "little" brothers. To our delight, all 3 children call us "gramma and grampa". We can't wait to bring them all to WDW with us!!!

I hope your situation goes well for you. DH and I have been where you are although like I said, for us very reluctantly.



.

 

[mrsheppo]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the good thoughts and well wishes. We know it is going to be hard but Isabella is well worth it.

Yes, she is the little girl in my avatar.

 

[MidgeD79]

My dd Jessie died 4/29/06 suddenly from a brain anyeurism. I have custody of her 3 year-old son(no father) but not of her 10 year-old daughter (Heroin addict father). After months of legal battles I do have visitation. i wish this never happened.