How far do you let your almost 18-year old drive by themselves?

[goofy!]

I drove alone from upstate Vermont to New Jersey numerous times 2 months past my 18th birthday.

At 19, my brother (17) and I drove from Vermont to Colorado. We both shared driving.

My son was allowed to drive anywhere he wanted when he was almost 18. At 18, he was an adult, so I wasn't going to try to tell him what to do. He is a very safe driver, so I wasn't too worried. He drives a few hours up into mountains often to go skiing.

 

[zurgswife]

As a 17-18 yr old my self I drove many hours...my kids aren't that adventurous..I think my youngest has had the most experience with highway driving and it's only been to and from the city about 40 mins drive....but the last time he did it was over a year ago.

My oldest is in NYC and doesn't drive unless she is visiting home. The next is in college about 3 yrs away and doesn't have a car...we he can afford to buy a car to have at college (if he wants) he hopefully will have the confidence to drive the distance; but he is a nervous nelly driver. I'll be a basket case for the first few trips I'm sure.

 

[horseshowmom]

I drove quite a bit when I was 15-18. My parents let me drive to my grandmother's from the time I was 15 (a hour away). I was never in an accident (other than a small, weather related fender bender that was no fault - freak ice storm hit while I was traveling).

Driving wasn't a big thing to my own daughter. She didn't get her permit until probably 16 1/2 and kept it for a year. During that time, I had her drive pretty much everywhere we went for experience.

By the time she was 18, she started pulling the horse trailer (with one of us with her). By 21, she could pull and back it completely on her own and did so on trips 2, 3, or 4 hours away.

I made sure she's had AAA since she started driving, but she's changed two blowouts on the horse trailer on her own with no problem (we always keep a trailer aid in the horse trailer).

 

[Frantasmic]

This is going to sound strange, but if it were my daughter driving by herself on the highway, I'd suggest she only drive as far as she can go without a potty break.

I am being somewhat facetious, but what I mean is I don't worry about driving nearly as much as stopping somewhere and running into trouble.

By herself in the daylight, I'd trust her to drive 2-3 hours on her own. By herself at night - only in the city. I wouldn't want her driving by herself at night on the highway. It's not the driving that I fear but where she may have to stop or if someone does a slight accident to get her to stop. I just don't think at the younger age with the invincible factor they have she'll remember to stop at a place with witnesses, etc.

With a friend or two, I'd hope there'd be safety in numbers and maybe a combined good brain between them.

My daughter is 17, a senior in HS, and will be attending college about 2 1/2 hours away. When we have visited her college, she drives about 1 1/2 hours before stopping. Sometimes she switches drivers, sometimes she keeps on driving.

 

[Kae]

At 17 we moved 90 miles away. I drove back to see my friends almost every weekend. It was Indiana Tollroad, almost the whole way.

Kae

 

[luvdzny]

When DS was 16 he drove 250 miles round trip to a bike park several times a month. (He is now 27) He drove to Canada with a group of friends at 17.
DD drove 700 miles round trip to Michigan to see her boyfriend when she was 19. When the same boyfriend moved here later that year they drove a u-haul truck pulling a trailer from NC to WI by themselves. He was 18, she was 19. (They are married now.)

I live very close to the accident that killed the 3 girls. Sadly in this case I think the driver probably would have been better off if she was alone. I know that the cause of the accident is not known, but I would think it had something to do with the fact that there were 9 girls in the SUV and they were just out having fun. Whatever happened, it was a tragedy.

 

[sbell111]

OK, it's tomorrow. When is the other shoe going to drop?

 

[dazedx3]

We also live quite close to the area where this horrible accident happened, and my niece knew all the girls. It is tragic but I think if they are smart about their driving and not taking chances I probably would let them drive. Nine girls in a vehicle is just risky.

I guess for me it is more the reason for the trip than the distance.

 

[MrsDuck]

When I was 18 and in college I was driving about 4 hours every weekend to visit my boyfriend (now fiance). I'm sure my parents would've been nervous had they known (I was driving on the highway/turnpike/etc).

I think it really just depends on the kid. I had a ton of driving experience and my parents let me make hour long trips here and there all the time. The long distance trips were done without their knowledge... bad of me, I know!

 

[Happy Mom2]

I was driving where ever I wanted at 17, including to the beach 4 hours away. That being said, ask me again 12 years when DD turns 18!

 

[clh2]

OK, it's tomorrow. When is the other shoe going to drop?

OP here - I said tomorrow night...and I just got home from work.

This is the deal. DD will be 18 in 2 months ...day before tax day. On April 1st - she has the opportunity to go to an "out-of-state-student" event at the college she will be going to. Starts about 3pm on a Sunday, ends about 1pm on Monday. The college is about 250 miles away. So - it isn't an opportunity to have a friend along, nor is the date negotiable if there is questionable weather.

DD has had her license since "literally" the day after she turned 16. DD drives all over the Milwaukee area, and we live in the sticks, so no issues there. She had a boyfriend for a while who lived 45 minutes away. DD has driven (with both DH and me in the car) for 200 miles one time, although that was 2 years ago, when she still had her temps. DD has also driven to a competition (with both parents in the car) about 150 miles away 2 times.

DH is of the opinion that she should be able to drive herself to this campus even. I'm on the fence. The problem is - if at the last minute there is questionable weather, or something else comes up - I won't be able to get a vacation day at work. And - I think this would be a great opportunity for DD to drive (i.e.with me in the car) both there and back - to prove that she is up to the task for future times that she may be driving this distance on her own.

The college is in central Illinois, and while 90% of the time - it is freeway driving, I think she needs a tad bit more experience once she crosses the Illinois/Wisconsin border to be driving. And - yes - I used to be one of those Illinois drivers.

We are letting DD drive to Rockford in mid-March - to meet up with others in that area going to the same college. Little anxious about that - as this meet-up is on St. Pats day. So - not as worried about DD. Much more worried about others who may be driving. So - I'm not opposed to DD driving a short distane (this is about 90 minutes away).

DD has driven lots since she got her license. The only 3 days she didn't drive anywhere was when she had strep throat a couple of weeks ago. She has probably put on at least 12000 miles/year since she got her license.

So - that is the story. I was just curious on the opinions. And I know - there really isn't a right or wrong answer. There is a benefit for me going down. I don't know much about the town and would really like to be a little more familiar with the area. I would love to check on some things like local banking options etc.

Thanks for all your opinions!

 

[rigs32]

If she goes to that college, isn't she going to have to drive herself there? Why not let her take a test run? If there's a sudden snowstorm, what would she lose for not going? I think you're overthinking.

I drove from Buffalo to Toronto (another country!) many times in high school. I also drove myself from Buffalo to Wall, SD at 18 the summer after freshman year of college - two days of driving. I also drove myself to and from college south of Minneapolis, too.

If she knows how to check her oil and change a tire (or how to call AAA), I see no reason to be so nervous if she is a competent driver.

 

[goofyernmost]

My how the world has changed. When I was 18 we were being drafted into the service to fight wars. Driving places was not even considered anything that needed consideration. Heck, I drove 18 wheelers when I was 18. (they didn't require CDL's back then in the dark ages). At that age I was also driving a delivery van for a medical supply company all over the place (200 mile radius).

When I first saw this thread, I thought they must be joking, then I realized that, like I said, the world has changed. One still needs to loosen up the strings and let your children grow. They are old enough to elect a President, they should be able to drive to the polls.

 

[SaraJayne]

OP here - I said tomorrow night...and I just got home from work.

This is the deal. DD will be 18 in 2 months ...day before tax day. On April 1st - she has the opportunity to go to an "out-of-state-student" event at the college she will be going to. Starts about 3pm on a Sunday, ends about 1pm on Monday. The college is about 250 miles away. So - it isn't an opportunity to have a friend along, nor is the date negotiable if there is questionable weather.

DD has had her license since "literally" the day after she turned 16. DD drives all over the Milwaukee area, and we live in the sticks, so no issues there. She had a boyfriend for a while who lived 45 minutes away. DD has driven (with both DH and me in the car) for 200 miles one time, although that was 2 years ago, when she still had her temps. DD has also driven to a competition (with both parents in the car) about 150 miles away 2 times.

DH is of the opinion that she should be able to drive herself to this campus even. I'm on the fence. The problem is - if at the last minute there is questionable weather, or something else comes up - I won't be able to get a vacation day at work. And - I think this would be a great opportunity for DD to drive (i.e.with me in the car) both there and back - to prove that she is up to the task for future times that she may be driving this distance on her own.

The college is in central Illinois, and while 90% of the time - it is freeway driving, I think she needs a tad bit more experience once she crosses the Illinois/Wisconsin border to be driving. And - yes - I used to be one of those Illinois drivers.

We are letting DD drive to Rockford in mid-March - to meet up with others in that area going to the same college. Little anxious about that - as this meet-up is on St. Pats day. So - not as worried about DD. Much more worried about others who may be driving. So - I'm not opposed to DD driving a short distane (this is about 90 minutes away).

DD has driven lots since she got her license. The only 3 days she didn't drive anywhere was when she had strep throat a couple of weeks ago. She has probably put on at least 12000 miles/year since she got her license.

So - that is the story. I was just curious on the opinions. And I know - there really isn't a right or wrong answer. There is a benefit for me going down. I don't know much about the town and would really like to be a little more familiar with the area. I would love to check on some things like local banking options etc.

Thanks for all your opinions!

If she's taking 39, once she gets through Rockford it will be a piece of cake. Just make sure she stops to pay the $1.90 toll at the border.

If she's driven in Milwaukee, Rockford will be no problem.

 

[goofyernmost]

OP here - I said tomorrow night...and I just got home from work.

This is the deal. DD will be 18 in 2 months ...day before tax day. On April 1st - she has the opportunity to go to an "out-of-state-student" event at the college she will be going to. Starts about 3pm on a Sunday, ends about 1pm on Monday. The college is about 250 miles away. So - it isn't an opportunity to have a friend along, nor is the date negotiable if there is questionable weather.

DD has had her license since "literally" the day after she turned 16. DD drives all over the Milwaukee area, and we live in the sticks, so no issues there. She had a boyfriend for a while who lived 45 minutes away. DD has driven (with both DH and me in the car) for 200 miles one time, although that was 2 years ago, when she still had her temps. DD has also driven to a competition (with both parents in the car) about 150 miles away 2 times.

DH is of the opinion that she should be able to drive herself to this campus even. I'm on the fence. The problem is - if at the last minute there is questionable weather, or something else comes up - I won't be able to get a vacation day at work. And - I think this would be a great opportunity for DD to drive (i.e.with me in the car) both there and back - to prove that she is up to the task for future times that she may be driving this distance on her own.

The college is in central Illinois, and while 90% of the time - it is freeway driving, I think she needs a tad bit more experience once she crosses the Illinois/Wisconsin border to be driving. And - yes - I used to be one of those Illinois drivers.

We are letting DD drive to Rockford in mid-March - to meet up with others in that area going to the same college. Little anxious about that - as this meet-up is on St. Pats day. So - not as worried about DD. Much more worried about others who may be driving. So - I'm not opposed to DD driving a short distane (this is about 90 minutes away).

DD has driven lots since she got her license. The only 3 days she didn't drive anywhere was when she had strep throat a couple of weeks ago. She has probably put on at least 12000 miles/year since she got her license.

So - that is the story. I was just curious on the opinions. And I know - there really isn't a right or wrong answer. There is a benefit for me going down. I don't know much about the town and would really like to be a little more familiar with the area. I would love to check on some things like local banking options etc.

Thanks for all your opinions!

As a parent, I certainly can understand your anxiety, but that is the price we pay for having children, as some point we have to trust them to do the right thing and let them spread their wings.

There is nothing in what you said above that would tell me that it is wrong to let her go. She has driven more miles per year then a lot of people much older. If she was taught defensive driving, has had a good record (i.e. no accidents, traffic violations, etc.) then I think it is time to let her go. I had to do it, it was tough, but I have ended up with strong, independent and confident women that I am proud to call my daughters.

Just insist for your own piece of mind that she stay in touch with you (not while she is driving, of course) and have regular check in times. Emphasis on easing your own mind and worries, not to keep tabs on her.

 

[clh2]

If she's taking 39, once she gets through Rockford it will be a piece of cake. Just make sure she stops to pay the $1.90 toll at the border.

If she's driven in Milwaukee, Rockford will be no problem.

Heck...Rockford scares me to pieces. Back when that was in my territory - the main streets were diagonal - and I always managed to go there on cloudy days, and just could never figure out where I was. Long before GPS's were even dreamed up!

And the tolls - I'm thinking an I-pass will be a good investment - so no stopping. I hate to pay double just cuz I'm paying cash.

And as for NOT paying the toll - one of my co-workers landed in the ipass lane, and couldn't get to the right - so she went through. Didn't know you could go online and pay your toll. Got a ticket (It was huge) but there was a death in the family, and she forgot to pay it. So the ticket is "really big now" in the $250 range. OUCH!!!

 

[herdtoDisney]

My how the world has changed. When I was 18 we were being drafted into the service to fight wars. Driving places was not even considered anything that needed consideration. Heck, I drove 18 wheelers when I was 18. (they didn't require CDL's back then in the dark ages). At that age I was also driving a delivery van for a medical supply company all over the place (200 mile radius).

When I first saw this thread, I thought they must be joking, then I realized that, like I said, the world has changed. One still needs to loosen up the strings and let your children grow. They are old enough to elect a President, they should be able to drive to the polls.

It's changed....used to be you could get a lisence right when you turned 16-I did. but now many states have graduated driving laws. My now-19 yo ds started the process for lisencing as soon as he was legally able and he didn't get it until he was closer to 17, and then there are curfews and passenger restrictions.

So what I'm saying is, today's 17-18 year old may have much less driving experience than those of us who got the lisence right at 16 did at the same age.

OP, I think your dd sounds like she has lots of experience and would be fine...but if you want to with her, I think you should. Especially being winter and all, you can't control that and it might get bad. My ds is 6 hours away at school and we drove up with him for the orientation thing (when he was a senior in HS). Now he drives himself of course

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OP here - I said tomorrow night...and I just got home from work.

This is the deal. DD will be 18 in 2 months ...day before tax day. On April 1st - she has the opportunity to go to an "out-of-state-student" event at the college she will be going to. Starts about 3pm on a Sunday, ends about 1pm on Monday. The college is about 250 miles away. So - it isn't an opportunity to have a friend along, nor is the date negotiable if there is questionable weather.

DD has had her license since "literally" the day after she turned 16. DD drives all over the Milwaukee area, and we live in the sticks, so no issues there. She had a boyfriend for a while who lived 45 minutes away. DD has driven (with both DH and me in the car) for 200 miles one time, although that was 2 years ago, when she still had her temps. DD has also driven to a competition (with both parents in the car) about 150 miles away 2 times.

DH is of the opinion that she should be able to drive herself to this campus even. I'm on the fence. The problem is - if at the last minute there is questionable weather, or something else comes up - I won't be able to get a vacation day at work. And - I think this would be a great opportunity for DD to drive (i.e.with me in the car) both there and back - to prove that she is up to the task for future times that she may be driving this distance on her own.

The college is in central Illinois, and while 90% of the time - it is freeway driving, I think she needs a tad bit more experience once she crosses the Illinois/Wisconsin border to be driving. And - yes - I used to be one of those Illinois drivers.

We are letting DD drive to Rockford in mid-March - to meet up with others in that area going to the same college. Little anxious about that - as this meet-up is on St. Pats day. So - not as worried about DD. Much more worried about others who may be driving. So - I'm not opposed to DD driving a short distane (this is about 90 minutes away).

DD has driven lots since she got her license. The only 3 days she didn't drive anywhere was when she had strep throat a couple of weeks ago. She has probably put on at least 12000 miles/year since she got her license.

So - that is the story. I was just curious on the opinions. And I know - there really isn't a right or wrong answer. There is a benefit for me going down. I don't know much about the town and would really like to be a little more familiar with the area. I would love to check on some things like local banking options etc.

Thanks for all your opinions!

Get her a Garmin & a cell phone car charger.

BTW, my dd is 20 and I am still nervous.

 

[horseshowmom]

OP, I'm with your husband. I think she can handle it based on her experience.

That said, if you really want to go with her to check out the town, etc., that's fine too.

 

[Mandychelle79]

It's changed....used to be you could get a lisence right when you turned 16-I did. but now many states have graduated driving laws. My now-19 yo ds started the process for lisencing as soon as he was legally able and he didn't get it until he was closer to 17, and then there are curfews and passenger restrictions.

So what I'm saying is, today's 17-18 year old may have much less driving experience than those of us who got the lisence right at 16 did at the same age.

OP, I think your dd sounds like she has lots of experience and would be fine...but if you want to with her, I think you should. Especially being winter and all, you can't control that and it might get bad. My ds is 6 hours away at school and we drove up with him for the orientation thing (when he was a senior in HS). Now he drives himself of course

This is true. They have pushed the legal driving age up by these laws to keep the 16 yr old safe and the people safe from these 16 yr olds. Wonder if the accident rate has now increased for the 18-20 yr old bunch now that they have less experience driving.