How Does Your Extended Family Spend Time Together?

[Keli]

Both hubby and I come from VERY large families. We each have 7 siblings. Add all the spouses and their kids to the mix and either side has huge family gatherings. And they're both fun but I like my family's get togethers a bit more and hubby likes his, probably for the same reason. Even after 33 yrs of marriage we're both just a bit more comfortable around our family of origin. But both sides are people playing games in one room, people talking in another, people eating everywhere, people grilling or playing horseshoes or archery or whatever. And kids are EVERYWHERE. It's big, messy, and loud and usually a lot of fun. We only get together 3-4 times a year and you know what you'll be doing pretty much. Kids will open presents on christmas and then we'll all eat a feast and then hang out and do whatever. Easter the kids hunt eggs and then we'll have a feast and hang out. 4th of July usually rent an inflatable with a pool to it, kids (and often adults) play on it and then we have a feast and hang out. Thanksgiving we usually have the feast first, most of the guys and a couple of the gals go watch the cowboys, some folks look through all the black friday ads and find the best deals for the next day, and teenagers and older kids play football in the street.

 

[indimom]

We lean toward fun on both sides.

DH's family is loaded with guys guys who just love to rib each other and one up each other... so while we start with talk, the day usually ends with crying laughter as they each try to outdo the other. We've had some "controlled" indoor wrestling on occasion when it really got out of hand. It's probably a good thing that these parties do not involve drinking...
The women participate, but generally don't bare the brunt of their good hearted ribbing. No board games or cards, but if the weather is nice the football will generally appear outside.
The TV is always on, typically sports.

My family lean toward board games, cards, and LOUD talk. The TV is usually on in the family room, but the party revolves around the kitchen/dining and living rooms so it's not a major part of get-togethers. That's where people go with they've have enough of the NOISE in the main room. (My dad, youngest nephew and husband usually.) If the weather is nice, the younger members of the family will often bring out the basketball or football while the older generation do some front porch sittin. Pets have been known to show up for these parties also, mainly when the weather is nice and they can play outside. Our lab literally cries with happiness on the way to the farm (he loves racing over the wide open acreage and swimming in the pond).

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Winter= Football + beer + yelling
Summer= Pool + beer + yelling

Mix in a healthy dash of wild children running amok and there you have it.

 

[Bilberry]

We live all through out the country anymore, so generally the few times we meet it is typically a getting reacquainted experience. We typically have a good time so long as politics don't come up. I guess the next family gathering distance wise is nearly as far away in the US as can be for us. We're in S. Florida. The reunion is in the state of Washington at a remote lake camp. I'm likely not attending. Dad and mom should have a good time though seeing his brothers and their families. The brothers/uncles are now all in their 70s, and that is how the latest reunion is being labeled.

 

[AlohaNow]

We don't see anyone in our families anymore. After half the people died, we moved far away and hardly ever get back. I miss spending holidays with people.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Well, we'd still talk about old Maudie, but we'd be howling with laughter and making inappropriate jokes about her gall bladder.

Sounds exactly like my family.

 

[rastahomie]

Funny! You know what came to mind when I read this? You said about her family that you are "left out of the conversation and just want to pull [your] damn hair out"... is there any possibility that she might feel the same about your "fun" family time?? Fun is in the eye of the beholder.

Yes but at least at my side of the family you'd have been offered a few Jello shots and there would be a football game here, a Cards Against Humanity Game there, something else for you to do besides sit there and pretend to care about people you've never met.

 

[jt'smom]

You people with "fun" families are so lucky. Imagine spending hours on end in a hot living room with a bunch of people talking about old Maudie Fricket's gall bladder surgery.

You just described my husband's side of the family exactly. Years ago when his parents were younger, most holidays were held at their house, and it involved about 18 family members sitting around discussing theology, everyone's medical history in detail and an impromptu musical concert of hymns. You did get some delicious casseroles and desserts though. Back when my parents were alive, our get togethers always involved cocktails, lot's of appetizers and funny stories about living in a swinger's neighborhood in the '70's. My parents knew how to host a get together!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Eat. Maybe board games or watch a movie. Sometimes we help each other with work around the house (my SIL and her kids were over this weekend helping us with clearing brush in our back yard).

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

Yes but at least at my side of the family you'd have been offered a few Jello shots and there would be a football game here, a Cards Against Humanity Game there, something else for you to do besides sit there and pretend to care about people you've never met.

I get what you're saying! None of those would appeal to me, but I get that at least they are options.

If I were you, I'd ask about the option to not be there! When DH's family is over I pick and choose -- join in on some "discussions" and opt out of others to do something else. He understands that and it works well for us. Just a thought.

 

[MIGrandma]

Generally our extended family only gets together at Christmas during the winter. Occasionally we'll have someone over for dinner, or go out together to a restaurant or go see a movie, but most of the time it's only in the summer that we really spend a lot of time together and then it's at our vacation property in Northern Michigan. They'll come up camping with us for a weekend (or more), now and then during the summer months. In the mornings we all prepare breakfast together (usually pancakes, French toast, etc. and of course bacon on the tri-pod over the wood fire!!) and sit around the campfire talking and laughing. During the day we go for walks, trail riding (quads, Ranger), target (guns) shooting at the range in the back of our property, etc. We cook dinner together over the campfire (and sometimes use the grill), make S'mores, drink beer/mixed drinks, talk, laugh, DH sometimes plays his harmonica and everyone sings along, basically just hanging out together. Sometimes people will play cards, the kids play badminton/bolo golf, play with squirt guns, etc. If it's raining everyone enjoys watching movies and napping mostly. We don't spend a lot of time on our phones (service isn't great up there), so it's kind of nice to just spend time together having fun without the phones getting in the way.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

We get together with DH's whole family for a couple of holiday parties a year. We usually, eat, drink, watch sports, talk, the kids play. We are only there for a couple of days (we live out of state), so it's our time to visit with everyone. My family lives across the country, so we don't get to do holidays with them.

We also spend a week's vacation every few years with each side of the family at a vacation destination. With DH's family, we usually rent a big house on the Jersey Shore. With my family we've been to Hawaii, Mexico, Grand Canyon & Sedona, Lake Tahoe. We used to do this every other year, but life has gotten in the way. On these trips, we don't just talk, we play, go on adventures, swim, hike, etc. We've created some wonderful memories!

 

[lovin'fl]

My DH's family is a 'visit' family as well and I also have to hear all about so-and-so who they went to elementary school with or Mrs. such-and-such died. Mine is more fun and game playing though not as much in recent years (since my dad died and my brother went extreme in his views and is hateful to folks with other views which we have... and my three kids grew up while my brother chose not to have kids).

For me, growing up, my dad's family was a 'visit' family where children were to be seen and not heard. My brother, five years older than me, and I grew up with no cousins on that side. My mom was one of six kids and I had 12 cousins there so that was a wild and loud family with a lot of fun times but also a lot of drama.

 

[wilkeliza]

I did a lot more when I was a kid or when I lived closer as an adult. Now I'm the furthest out so don't get together with extended family nearly as much. For "closer" family like cousins/aunts/cousins we just hung out. That may be going over to someone's house for a visit, watching movies together, or whatever as we lived pretty close to everyone. My mom's side usually was over a weekend but still was just hanging out. We often went fishing together. More distant on my dad's side we had a family reunion type thing on Christmas Day at my great grandma's house and a summer family reunion for the other great grandparents. On my mom's side we all went camping once a year (well as many as who could come sometimes we had the whole camp grounds just for family) and had a family reunion for both sides. Now that my maternal grandpa's family has gotten so big they have smaller reunions of just the lineage form one of the "original." brothers when we use to just all get together all 7 lines of the family.