How do you split your holidays?

[binny]

My oldest brother and I live the farthest from my mum right now with the other 2 living somewhat close. So we split the majors each year with his family.

This is our Thanksgiving and his Christmas, next year we will flip. The other 2 show up for both.
It kind of stinks that we dont get to spend the holidays with him but we do see them several times a year besides that.

We dont worry about Thanksgiving with DHs folks because theyre in Canada and they celebrate at a different time. We do try to have every other Christmas with them though.


So how do you split up the holidays?

 

[JennyMominRI]

Everyone comes to my house for Thanksgiving ,CHristmas,and last year Chanukah...I'm not sure how I became the default house...It must be my cooking.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Thanksgiving at the IL's. Christmas at our house with just us. However, my parents recently moved closer and I invited them for Christmas this year. I will not travel on Christmas though. My Sister and Brother live quite far from us so we don't spend holidays together. And I have the IL's here sometimes in December for a pre-Christmas get together.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We go to BIL's for Thanksgivign with all of hubby's family.

My mom has moved too far away--so as with everyone else--they know where we will be on Christmas morning...HOME .

 

[SC Minnie]

For the past ocuple of years we have taken a trip during Christmas. Last year was a cruise with DH's family the year before was just us. This year we will stay around here and be with my family. The problem with my family is my parents are divorced and remarried so it is still jumping back and forth not trying to make the other one feel bad. Last Thanksgiving my Dad invited us over before my Mom did (she assumed we knew she would have everyone there). She didn't get mad but I could tell she was a little hurt that my brother and I weren't with her.

I refuse to travel to OH to the IL's for Christmas anymore but that is another thread.

 

[INDISMOM]

Thanksgiving is always with my side -- it shifts between my mom and my 2 aunts. MIL works retail in the evenings, so she always has to work the night before Thanksgiving and the days following. Since MIL always has to work those days, FIL usually picks up an extra shift (premium pay) where he works.

Christmas -- the rule I put in place when 1st DD was born -- my children will wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning. Since my family all lives near us, after we open our presents we usually go to my mom's or one of my aunt's.

We celebrate with IL's on a separate weekend so we don't feel so rushed. IL's and BIL live 2 hours away so we rotate between all of our homes.

 

[Bob Slydell]

We've had Thanksgiving at our house ever since we got married, and continue to do so, inviting all members of both families every year. Some years we get a lot of people, others, it's a small, intimate affair.

Christmas Eve is usually spent with MIL, since she's in town. Christmas Morning is always at our house and lately, Christmas dinner has been here as well.

We go to my parents' house for Christmas with that side of the family either the weekend before or weekend after Christmas, whichever works out best for everyone. Although we're trying to convince my family to come to our house for Christmas, since we have a lot more room at our house than my parents and our family (now up to 5 cousins) is quickly growing out of space.

 

[AKLRULZ]

We flip flop Thanksgiving - one year with my folks, the next with my inlaws. Christmas is at our house - if folks want to come they're more than welcome but I'm not traveling by car/plane/train with kids and presents. My door is open though!

 

[BuckNaked]

We used to go to FIL & MIL's house for Thanksgiving, but since FIL died, we have Thanksgiving at our home. Anyone in the family that wants to come here is welcome to do so.

As for Christmas, that's been an at-home holiday ever since DD was born 12 years ago. Neither DH nor I want our kids to be away from their own home on Christmas, so we usually have Christmas just with our little family.

 

[castleview]

My parents are divorced so we have an extra split to deal with. On my IL side, there is one particular person who is very inflexible and wants everything her way while the rest of DH's family enables her. We deal with it by not dealing with it. Our motto has become "whatever works best for our family". It sounds selfish, but we don't feel guilty. I remember before we had kids, we would spend Christmas Day at five different houses. Boy have times changed.

 

[Lizzy2]

We don't do holidays with the IL's because they are 12 hrs. away so we see them at other times of the year. My Mom is 2hrs away so we do Holidays with her and my brothers. This year we are thinking of doing Thanksgiving here and getting everyone to come here. I always thing TG is more fun. You get to visit without all that gift pressure.

 

[vetrik]

DH and I hammered this out the holiday season before we got married. It works great now, but I think it will be reconfigured when we have kids. I'd like my kids to be home, at least for Christmas morning.

We alternate Thanksgiving - eating dinner with my family one year, his family the next. Our families live less than 5 minutes apart, so we go the other house when we finish the first dinner. This usually results in 2 Thanksgiving dinners and a sick feeling for the rest of the day....

We spend Christmas Eve with his extended family, Christmas morning with his immediate family, and the rest of Christmas Day with my family.

 

[KelNottAt]

Thanksgiving Day is always at DH's parents' house. It's the one and only holiday that is pretty much a command performance; every IL and grandchild is present. MIL has some pretty inflexible expectations that everyone should gather at Grandma's for Thanksgiving. Nowhere else - ever. Believe me, we'd like to try someplace else. 24 people need elbow room. She plans to continue hosting and not pass the torch to any daughter or DIL (there are 5) until she is no longer albe to cook. It's the only day all year when she uses the good china and silver. (Christmas and Easter are on paper. )

Other than the crowding issue, the Thanksgiving arrangements have worked fine until last year. That's when my dad started hinting that he'd like to see us on Thanksgiving. We compromised and had a second Thanksgiving meal with him on Black Friday in 2005. May have to repeat that this year, too.

We have a casual pre-Christmas dinner and gift exchange at the ILs around Dec 20.

The actual Christmas Day is spent with my mom's side of the family. My dad will be there, too, but none of his relatives.

This year, and I hope all future years, we'll host Christmas dinner at my house. Since Mom moved to Florida no one from her generation is left to do it. Now I finally get a chance.

 

[believe]

Thanksgiving...everyone is it our house. We even have a few friends gone, so it is always a good size group of 32-38 individuals.

Christmas....Christmas Eve at IL's. My family changes each year based on who the kids of the divorced siblings are with, but we have our's earlier in the day so even on Christmas Eve we can still make the IL's. Christmas Day DH's aunt has an open house so we get there when we can.

If we lived away from one set of parents or both, we would have to rotate each year.

 

[rosiebean]

We live far away from both families, but have managed to get holiday time in over the past years. We have no set pattern, but as DH's family lives within a more reasonable driving distance (and as a SIL lived halfway between us and the rest of the family and hosted several holidays), we tend to see them more than my family.

However, now that I have a DS and another due any day now, I have informed everyone that if they want to see us on a holiday, they have to drive to our house! We will not be able to afford to fly out every other holiday with two kids, and I'd prefer to spend holidays at home anyway.

We will probably be able to drive to my ILs at Easter (which is usually near FILs birthday), however, and fly to my parents for a beach week (a tradition that everyone in my family loves as much as the holidays) for from now on. Just no more constant traveling for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas.

My parents are pretty good about not seeing us at the holidays, so long as they see us for a long vacation every year. And my ILs realize that it's not fair that we're often the ones who ake the long drive to see them...we may see some of them driving to see us during the holidays as the years go on.

 

[kelleigh1]

When hubby and I get married, we established some rules. My parents live 45 minutes away. His parents are in NJ, 3+ hours away.

Thanksgiving would most likely be at my house with me cooking. Hubby worked retail at the time so traveling anywhere wasn't likely since he'd probably be working the day before and/or day after.

Christmas we usually stay home by ourselves. We did say that if/when we have kids, it will always be at our house because I'm not dragging the kids around on Christmas day, but they could come visit later in the day if they wanted. I always hated having to get dressed up to go to Grandma's on Christmas. I just wanted to stay home in my pj's and play with my toys.

My parents aren't big on the holidays or family for that matter. They haven't been to our house since last Thanksgiving. This year, it will actually be just the two of us for Thanksgiving since his parents can't come up and we just want a nice relaxing holiday. And part of me is still ticked off that my parents only come over when I cook for them, so I'm not doing it this year.

We have spent a couple of Christmas' with the in-laws, but this year looks to be another quiet one at home.

 

[Keli]

My IL's and and my parents only live about 20 minutes from each other and we only live about 10 minutes from my parents. So we spend part of each holiday with both families.

Thanksgiving we eat at my parents. We used to shift back and forth but there was an incident years ago that caused it to change and now we always eat with my parents early and then go to IL's for the late afternoon/evening.

Christmas Eve we used to spend with the IL's because my MIL would host a party for her side of the family. She stopped doing that years ago (I don't know why) and for several years dh and I didn't have anything to do on Christmas Eve. Then we started getting together with two other couples we are very close to and that's become a tradition. Our children are all growing up and one couple's son has married and last year he and his wife had a baby to bring. I really love getting together with these dear friends.

Christmas morning we are at home until about 11:00am. Then we go to my parents to open gifts/eat for a couple of hours and then we go to IL's to open gifts/eat snacks/leftovers.

I kind of hate it that we are never there to actually eat meals with my IL's because I feel like they get the short end of the stick and that's not fair but they were constantly changing mealtimes around (or even if they were going to host a meal that year) and it became impossible to coordinate it with my family. Everyone seems pretty happy with the way we do it now so we haven't changed anything around in several years and I doubt if we will in the future unless someone requests it.

 

[liamsaunt]

We live in the same town as my parents, and my inlaws and DH's extended family live about 90 minutes away. My Dsis and the kids live about 20 minutes away. We have a routine that has been honed to perfection over the years, as follows:

Thanksgiving is always at my mother's house, because she is the best cook! We used to try and head to the inlaws after dinner at my parents, but it got to be too much. Instead, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we go to my inlaws for a meal and to watch the Patriots.

Christmas we start by heading to my inlaws early on Christmas Eve. We have a light meal and exchange gifts. Then, we all head to one of DH's aunts house, about three towns over, where we socialize and dine with his entire extended family until late that evening.

Christmas morning we are up early and drive to my sister's house for breakfast and gifts with her and the kids. My parents are there too. Then we all clear out of there in time to make room for Dsis's inlaws, who come over for a late lunch, and head back to our house for a crash nap. After that, we head to my parents' house for dinner and gifts.

Whew! I'm getting tired just thinking about it! DH and I fit in our gifts to each other where it is most convenient--usually late Christmas night.

 

[mickeyboat]

Well, you never know about Thanksgiving, but we generally stay home and have FIL over for dinner. This year he and DH's two sisters are going to visit his third sister in Ohio. We are not planning on goinng, so we will probably have some neightbors over.

A few years ago we got stuck in a huge snowstorm on the way to visit my parents for Christmas. Since then. we have sworn off traveling at that time of year, and we stay home. Anyone who wants to join us is more than welcome.

Denae

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

I think this will be our last splitting of the holidays to be quite honest with you. Our daughter isn't home from Guatemala yet or last year would have been the last. This year will be even MORE difficult as my husbands family has divided themselves from one another. We will go to both sets of parents houses for Thanksgiving, and Christmas. If Kiara is home for Easter, we are staying home. I will not be house hopping when I have children, if they want to see her they can stop by. This is how my mother brought us up, and I intend to do the same for my kids.