How do you manage expectations?

[lovebug33]

I have all sorts of expectations for my trip, especially since this is my first trip with my DD. My DD is an infant who likes to ruin every dream I have of a perfect trip or holiday . How do you keep yourself from not being upset when your expectations aren't met? Christmas ended up with me in tears !

 

[babyatlas]

i completely understand where you are coming from - so much time and energy is spend planning and preparing and, yes, paying for trips that it is easy (sometimes) to be disappointed. i think when traveling with an infant things are left even more to chance.

i would prioritize. write down the top five things you MUST do and then make them happen even if you have to do them alone. whethere they are shows or rides or food you want to experience, etc. once those are done have another list of 5 things.

on this last trip i had a million things i wanted to do but one thing that was important to me was to ride the Haunted Mansion. i remember this ride quite distinctly from when i was a child and last time we visited we didn't do it. this time my kids were too afraid to go on it so one afternoon i just went by myself. i was glad i did it.

i also think, especially with a DL trip that you have to slow down. when planning it seems so reasonable to just be able to do it all but in reality it takes time and patience. you need breaks to save your sanity, especially with little travelers.

wishing you tons of fun and that you walk away from your trip with a smile.

 

[sherilaine]

"The happiest people do not have the best of everything, they make the best of everything they have!"

These are wise words - expectations can ruin your trip, and so setting realistic expectations can save it.

Babies do not care about what you want, what you wish for, what is going on around them - they care about what THEY want and often times, since they are great at crying - they get just that! And it gets worse before it gets better let me tell you!

If you are taking an infant - go slow, take breaks, realize that you can't fly through the park doing everything you'd want to do without your DD, and prepare yourself with being okay with that before you go, otherwise you might as well not bother.

I trust that you are likely not travelling far if you are taking an infant to DLR? So you can likely return as she gets older and you will enjoy many visits of many memories - some of the best ones likely not being anything you expected to happen!

 

[Cheshirecatty]

I like to set expectations for myself (like--having a good attitude, going with the flow, not sweating the small things, letting bigger things go, etc.)

That way, I'm not disappointed if others don't meet my expectations, and IF they do, it's a nice surprise and the icing on the cake!
It sure takes a lot of practice though!!!!

 

[Girimama33]

I like to set expectations for myself (like--having a good attitude, going with the flow, not sweating the small things, letting bigger things go, etc.)

That way, I'm not disappointed if others don't meet my expectations, and IF they do, it's a nice surprise and the icing on the cake!
It sure takes a lot of pracitce though!!!!

Excellent advice!

Going in with an attitude that all expectations must be met is bound for some dissapointment. Out of suriosity...what sort of expectations do you have?

 

[OregontoDisney]

One thing that helped us to have a trip above my expectations, with my three kids ages 15 months, 2 1/2 yrs, and 7 yr old, was to bring another adult besides my husband along. We brought my sister, but it could be anyone your family gets along with well, a responsible teen etc. My kids love their aunt, and while we did some rides as a group, she would take them on small world etc., while my husband and I did a few things together. Then my husband would take them to the hotel for nap time and she and I would have some wonderful sister time. I know it's not a scenario that's possible for everyone, but I don't think we would be able to make this trip again while the kids are young, if we did not have some help along.

 

[mamaCta]

My motto when dealing with kids is "Hope for best, but expect and plan for the worst." Reality usually falls somewhere in between.

 

[lovebug33]

Out of curiosity...what sort of expectations do you have?

It's hard to explain. We have been going for years to DL and always see all these people with kids. It took us 5 years to have DD and we thought we may never get to have a child. I just want it to be magical. I want DD to be happy and see her get all excited over things and like the rides and the food, whatever she can eat. And, instead, like Christmas, we end up with baby crying or angry or us not having a good time because she is sad. Does that make sense? I want magic to happen, I guess!

 

[sherilaine]

It's hard to explain. We have been going for years to DL and always see all these people with kids. It took us 5 years to have DD and we thought we may never get to have a child. I just want it to be magical. I want DD to be happy and see her get all excited over things and like the rides and the food, whatever she can eat. And, instead, like Christmas, we end up with baby crying or angry or us not having a good time because she is sad. Does that make sense? I want magic to happen, I guess!

I think many people invision their children having a magical reaction to Disneyland that is normally reserved for those who successfully land the part played on the tv commercial.

Not every child wanders into DLR, wearing some princess dress and encounters that exact same princess and they walk off on some magical skip through a half empty park. Those types of media induced expectations are likely to kill anyone's experience.

I think if you still have an infant, a child that has not yet asked to be taken to Disney, then you might not see that kind of magic for sometime - so go for your own magic - and you might just find it.

Our kids were 9 and 8 when we took them for the 1st time, my DD wanted to go for years and years before that - and she asked and asked and saw all her friends go before her and when we finally went she was over the moon with excitement. She had read about Walt Disney, researched him in fact and loves to draw herself - so she was just awestruck but all of it. It was very moving to see her reaction. However, had I of taken her when she was a baby - well we'd of had none of that - as anticipation is lost on kids so young.

I say enjoy each stage for what it is - and don't let those advertisers trick you in expecting something that most people never experience. Your own magic will come but likely when you least expect it.

 

[DizMe]

I know all about that. I think some people are more likely than others to feel that keen sense of disappointment if things don't quite live up to how you imagined it. I can be one of those people. I think a lot of it has to do with how much responsibility you have for the event/trip and how special it is to you.

Things that help me when things go awry:

Treats! I treat myself to something. That is almost always a perk up.

Watching the delight of the children around you. This can sort of backfire a bit if your own kid(s) are not reacting well, but overall I find it soothing to see that the magic is alive and well.

Rest. Sometimes I'm so worn out by my obsessive thinking about the trip that I'm exhausted when we actually get there. Take it slow for a while and let your body catch up.

Having someone with you who is happy-go-lucky and optimistic. Positive begets positive and negative begets negative. Let the positive people around you bolster your spirits.

Try not to focus too much on the things that seem like big disappointments. Figure out something else to do instead and let go of the other stuff. Easier said than done, I know.

I think it would be hard to have a completely disappointing time at DLR. There is so much to choose from that if your child is unhappy with A, there is B-Z and then some! If she's tired, go back to the hotel and rest, play in the pool, etc.

Good luck!!!! And have a great trip!!!!

 

[Cindylieu]

It's hard to explain. We have been going for years to DL and always see all these people with kids. It took us 5 years to have DD and we thought we may never get to have a child. I just want it to be magical. I want DD to be happy and see her get all excited over things and like the rides and the food, whatever she can eat. And, instead, like Christmas, we end up with baby crying or angry or us not having a good time because she is sad. Does that make sense? I want magic to happen, I guess!

Well.....I would say that an infant is NOT likely to be excited over any of the things you will want her to be excited about. She might (probabply WILL) be afraid of the characters, unable to enjoy the rides you want to ride, unable to enjoy the shows, not appreciative of the food, etc. this is not because she WANtS to make it hard on you, she is just being a baby, and babies dont have the ability to see it your way. Babies are all about the needs of right now. That being said, you can still have a GREAT trip IF you are realistic. You already know what she likes......YOU. If you are staying happy, sweet, kind, and flexible she will do better. Plan to do some things YOU enjoy, keep YOUR attitude sweet and attuned to her needs, but most of all........be willing to let her be a baby the entire time you are there.

She might not sleep well.....plan for extra naps.
She might hate the food....take her favorites.
She might hate the shows....take toys.
She might not want to stay all day....plan to RELAX and take everything at half-speed.

Hope you have a nice time! In 6-7 years do it again and she will be able to flex with your needs as well as her own.

Good luck.

 

[lovebug33]

Oh, and we are lucky to live in Las Vegas, so not too hard to get back. I have never had a bad trip wherever we have gone, I am just afraid of being disappointed. Does that difference even make sense?

 

[Girimama33]

Makes perfect sense...expecially since DLR is such a magical place for you.
I would imagine it would be difficult to set expectations with an infant. You never know how they are going to react...some sensory overload takes place there. My best advice is to stick to your child's routine (if there is one), and try and relax. Hopefully you will see a difference since she is 6 months older than during your previous trip.

 

[ktlm]

It's hard to explain. We have been going for years to DL and always see all these people with kids. It took us 5 years to have DD and we thought we may never get to have a child. I just want it to be magical. I want DD to be happy and see her get all excited over things and like the rides and the food, whatever she can eat. And, instead, like Christmas, we end up with baby crying or angry or us not having a good time because she is sad. Does that make sense? I want magic to happen, I guess!

You explained it well, and I totally understand. It took us 4 years to have our DD. We also traveled to WDW once during that time, and I can recall looking at all the happy families wishing that was us. So of course, when it finally was us, I just wanted it to live up to my dreams. How old is your DD? I wouldn't expect an infant to get too excited, although she might. She might also be scared of the characters, or she might not. We didn't take a trip when DD was what I considered an infant, but the main advice, I think I would give is to remember that she is a person with her own personality- you can't force your likes on her. We have gone back and watched videos of DD as an infant, and it is so funny how knowing her as an older kid, when we looked back we saw a ton of glimmers of her personality, stubborness etc., even at a very young age. She is going to be excited about whatever suits her. Just enjoy those minutes, and don't get frazzled if she decides she doesn't care for Mickey, etc. right now. Also as an infant, she will get tired, hungry, cranky etc. - and probably at the most inconvenient times for you! You just have to go with the flow and try not to let it get to you.

As an example, we took DD for her 1st trip to WDW when she was 2. I had these visions of her seeing the castle for the 1st time and being in total awe of it and completely excited. Well, we walked into MK and she hardly gave the castle a second glance. She could have cared less about it. She never paid much attention to the castle that entire trip, and only tolerated me making us take pictures in front of it. However, as we walked in to MK for the first time, she spotted Pluto, and the most important thing at that moment was getting in line to see him. She patiently waited a good 15 or 20 minutes for him (and if you knew my DD at age 2, that was a miracle in itself). When it was her turn, she ran to him and threw herself in his arms like he was her long lost best friend and didn't let go for a long time. I must admit that tears welled up in my mind, and almost 5 years later that memory still makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. My trip dreams never included that (well in regard to Mickey maybe), but it was a special moment I'll never forget. Just let her find her own way. As an infant she may be less than thrilled with anything, but as she gets a little older, you will find your magical moments even if they are not the ones you had in your head!!!

 

[Niebz]

I have 3 kids and have started taking them to Disney (land and world) at six months of age so I can totally relate to how you're feeling! Our youngest will have his first trip this August. We travel from Canada so it's a big expense and production to take these trips. I've also done many adult trips with DH before we had kids and the ones with kids are very different. Will you get as much done? Definitely not, but it can actually be really wonderful with a baby if you don't put any pressure on yourself. Seeing it all through their eyes is so worth the journey. Plan to take it slow with lots of breaks. There will be stuff your baby hates but there will also be stuff they might surprise you by loving! I tell myself that even if we only get on 3 rides all day and spend half the time nursing in the baby care centre at least we're there, taking in the atmosphere! A rough day at Disney is still better than a day at home!

 

[Cinderpamela]

you will find your magical moments even if they are not the ones you had in your head!!!

I agree with ktlm, most of the most magical moments that happen with your kids are NOT the ones that you have in a tape in your head... but rather things that are totally unexpected and that is exactly what makes them magical!

So go into it with an open mind and try your best to leave those expectations behind.

 

[Pesky]

I think it comes from acknowledging your expectations AND acknowledging the reality of your situation that is unlikely to let those be fulfilled AT THIS TIME. She's a baby. All those noises, smells, bright colors, etc. -- super stimulating. She's going to need some downtime, to feel calm, safe, secure and just chill. More than you might anticipate. Realize as she grows, she will slowly be able to take in more and enjoy more. Even with my soon-to-be 4YO, we are planning lots of downtime to ensure he doesn't get overwhelmed. Your expectations will likely be realized at some time but just not yet. I'm sure that when my parents first took us to DL and WDW they were expecting the awe of the castle and such -- I was really more fascinated by feeding the sparrows and the ducks!

 

[mom2aredhead]

I would say one way to manage your expectations is to stay off the disboards lol! Reading about other people's trips, meals, experiences, etc is just setting yourself up to compare.
What if someone someone posted about their 'magical' experience with an infant the smiled the instant the photopass photog caught them with Mickey. You go in hoping for (and expecting) the same experience, but instead your infant screamed her head off because she was tired and/or afraid and/or hungry and proceeded to spit up all over your matching family t-shirts. If you hadn't read about the other person, you'd probably clean up, calm her down and move on.
Honestly traveling...even day trips...with an infant is not easy (or fun) most of the time. They are still needy fickle little things that have to eat and nap on schedule. This may or may not work with a park touring schedule. Use that as your expectation, and everything else will be a bonus.

 

[pixarmom]

Just let her find her own way.

I agree with this 100%! We have three boys, currently ages 13, 12 and 6 and we've been taking them to WDW (and DL) since our oldest was a year old.

Honestly, that first time at WDW with our youngest, I didn't have any expectations of re-creating my own childhood or any of my own experiences at DL/WDW. It was a brand new deal! Our oldest's favorite things as a baby - the WDW bus to the parks and the little bronze Chip and Dale in a corner in front of the castle. For our middle son's first visit, he wanted to go on every ride he could without hesitation, but would put his head in our laps and not look at anything until he had been on about 10 rides! And that's OK, too! Our youngest is fickle - one minute, he will LOVE ToT (he's been on it at both DL and WDW multiple times.) But the next minute, he might decide he doesn't want to go on it again.

As others have said, it's going to be a whole new world. Plan as much as you can, and then enjoy it and be ready to be flexible. Maybe you'll go slow, maybe not. Maybe you'll take breaks, maybe not. Maybe you'll get on your favorite rides, but maybe not. For us, there has always been real joy in finding out what our kids love at Disney - and the fun part is that much of it continues to change as they grow!

In any event, I like the idea of "let her find her own way." Have fun!

 

[Mama Who]

Rule #1 of taking a baby to Disneyland:

Expect the baby to be a baby.


Expect her to behave exactly the way she always does in a strange environment. Fearful, curious, blase... whatever her standard reaction to weird is, expect that. She has no concept that Disney is somehow special and magical. A 7 foot dog in a chef hat is quite possibly not her idea of a good time- she has no clue who Goofy is, nor does she care. She doesn't care if 3 is when the parade is, if 3 is nap time she wants to go to sleep. She doesn't care if you just got your entree at Blue Bayou after a 45 minute wait for a table, that diaper is wet and it's wet NOW.

But she's also never seen a princess before. That nice lady in the sparkly dress? *Amazing*. Especially when she lets the baby taste her wig. And the band in NOS? Perfect for stroller dancing. And for heaven's sake there are DUCKS! Ducks are super cool!

In other words, expect her to see the whole trip in a totally different light than you do. Let her find her own magic and you go revel in that. Expect to come away having seen the parks in a new light.