Rajah
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 17, 1999
- Messages
- 9,632
When a friendship has gotten to the point that one member of the 5-some of friends is verbally abusive and the other 3 seem to support his side, how do you just let the friendship die? Especially when you work in the same building and live in the same neighborhood and have been wonderful friends for years.
I'm in that situation now. I've got 4 friends who for years have been like brothers and sisters to me. Now all of a sudden, one of them for the past 6 months has become unstable. He attacks me sometimes with (unintentional) provocation, sometimes without, and I've gotten to the point where I just can't talk to them about even something as innocent as the weather without him or his wife taking offense somehow.
I finally stood up to him and said no more, and he's being automatically forwarded to the delete box (ie: put on "ignore") because of how he's attacked me, my husband, two good friends not in this little group, and in his last straw message, implied (incorrectly) that I was having an affair. That was the last straw.
Hubbie's response: That message was bizzare, he's insane, and what he was implying is ridiculous.
Friend's response who was the implied person I was having the affair with: I don't know where that came from, I'm so sorry, and he's lost it.
Now friends 3 and 4 of the group are pretty much shunning me because I'm not talking to him in email. Friend 2 (his wife) I can understand. But not friends 3 and 4.
Anyway, today it basically came out that either I put him back into contact, or I take myself out of the group.
Since I'm not going to be walked on any more, the only option I guess is to take myself out of the group. But still, it's hard. Very hard. For years I've shared things with these people. I read a strange news story, and my first reaction is to share it with them.
How do you let go? And how do you heal when things have gotten this bad?
I'm in that situation now. I've got 4 friends who for years have been like brothers and sisters to me. Now all of a sudden, one of them for the past 6 months has become unstable. He attacks me sometimes with (unintentional) provocation, sometimes without, and I've gotten to the point where I just can't talk to them about even something as innocent as the weather without him or his wife taking offense somehow.
I finally stood up to him and said no more, and he's being automatically forwarded to the delete box (ie: put on "ignore") because of how he's attacked me, my husband, two good friends not in this little group, and in his last straw message, implied (incorrectly) that I was having an affair. That was the last straw.
Hubbie's response: That message was bizzare, he's insane, and what he was implying is ridiculous.
Friend's response who was the implied person I was having the affair with: I don't know where that came from, I'm so sorry, and he's lost it.
Now friends 3 and 4 of the group are pretty much shunning me because I'm not talking to him in email. Friend 2 (his wife) I can understand. But not friends 3 and 4.
Anyway, today it basically came out that either I put him back into contact, or I take myself out of the group.
Since I'm not going to be walked on any more, the only option I guess is to take myself out of the group. But still, it's hard. Very hard. For years I've shared things with these people. I read a strange news story, and my first reaction is to share it with them.
How do you let go? And how do you heal when things have gotten this bad?
